# When your gut says "run away!" when around someone. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 25, 2017, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-gut-says-run-away-when-around-someone/792079 "2017-07-25T14:59:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Brodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Brodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brodi)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-gut-says-run-away-when-around-someone/792079/1 "2017-07-25T14:59:04Z")
I have this “friend” named “Josh” (not real name). I am a gay man, just so you know. I met Josh a little over a month ago at a support group. Josh and me hit it off in a non sexual way, really just friends. Over about a million texts I learned Josh has “issues”. Two eating disorders when younger, depression, etc. He also obsessively exercises and fasts for days at a time. He also declared himself to be hypersexual, which became a problem. We sent one or two dirty texts which ended when he sent a dick pic. I declined and, I thought, that was over. Cue one late night text conversation that I ended when he got “hot and bothered” to the extent it was scary, and he sent another dick pic. The last time we talked, I got this “run, run, run away!” feeling and couldn’t bare to be around him. I honestly felt sick to be near him. He is outwardly kind, caring, etc but I feeling like a zebra near a lion every time I’m around him. I’ve stopped texting with him, but am now getting “r y okay?”, etc texts. Nothing threatening. How the heck to I end this with looking like a jerk? His friend sing his praises, by I’m skeeved out beyond belief. ---
**Author:** ![Crotalus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crotalus/32/41_2.png) [@Crotalus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crotalus)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-gut-says-run-away-when-around-someone/792079/2 "2017-07-25T15:10:06Z")
Listen to your gut. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-gut-says-run-away-when-around-someone/792079/3 "2017-07-25T15:54:25Z")
All things to everyone. [Run, runaway](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikMiQZF-mAY). ---
**Author:** ![Brodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Brodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brodi)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-gut-says-run-away-when-around-someone/792079/4 "2017-07-25T15:55:30Z")
> [@Crotalus](#): > > Listen to your gut. I sent him a “we’re just not compatible, sorry” text and blocked him. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-gut-says-run-away-when-around-someone/792079/5 "2017-07-25T16:19:08Z")
Fear is a gift. End it. Don’t second guess yourself. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-gut-says-run-away-when-around-someone/792079/6 "2017-07-25T16:33:02Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Fear is a gift. End it. Don’t second guess yourself. literally! [The Gift of Fear](https://www.amazon.com/Other-Survival-Signals-Protect-Violence/dp/0440508835/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1501000327&sr=8-1&keywords=the+gift+of+fear) ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-gut-says-run-away-when-around-someone/792079/7 "2017-07-25T16:47:06Z")
Could he be bipolar? ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-gut-says-run-away-when-around-someone/792079/8 "2017-07-25T17:03:16Z")
> [@JackieLikesVariety](#): > > literally! > > [The Gift of Fear](https://www.amazon.com/Other-Survival-Signals-Protect-Violence/dp/0440508835/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1501000327&sr=8-1&keywords=the+gift+of+fear) Beat me to it. ---
**Author:** ![Brodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Brodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brodi)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-gut-says-run-away-when-around-someone/792079/9 "2017-07-25T17:47:39Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Could he be bipolar? Possibly. I’ve known several people diagnosed with it, including my mom. But none of those people gave/give me the “vibe” Josh did. ---
**Author:** ![yellowjacketcoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4bbf92/32.png) [@yellowjacketcoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowjacketcoder)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-gut-says-run-away-when-around-someone/792079/10 "2017-07-25T17:51:07Z")
> [@Brodi](#): > > I > How the heck to I end this with looking like a jerk? His friend sing his praises, by I’m skeeved out beyond belief. “Hey man, I need some time to myself and can’t text anymore” and then you block his number and social media accounts. You don’t need to tell him why (in fact, telling him why will probably cause you to have an argument that won’t go anywhere). Just block him and move on with life. People worry too much about being a jerk and not enough about having their boundaries accepted. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-gut-says-run-away-when-around-someone/792079/11 "2017-07-25T17:53:27Z")
Run like hell itself is behind you. Sever all contact, even if that means leaving the group. Do not ever allow him to approach you or be alone with you. If he tries, take legal measures. If you ignore the advice you’re getting in this thread, things will end badly, mostly for you. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-gut-says-run-away-when-around-someone/792079/12 "2017-07-25T20:07:42Z")
People tell you who they are. It’s up to you to listen when they do. > [@](#): > > How the heck to I end this with looking like a jerk? By ending it without caring if a jerk thinks you are a jerk. ‘I didn’t want to be rude’ is often something people say, after they have attacked. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-gut-says-run-away-when-around-someone/792079/13 "2017-07-25T20:10:28Z")
It is only a matter of course that people who want you to be with them or act a certain way call you a ‘jerk’ (or worse) when you don’t do what they want. That is part of the psychological manipulation. Don’t worry what he, or his friends, say. They’re trying to guilt you into going back. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-gut-says-run-away-when-around-someone/792079/14 "2017-07-25T20:17:38Z")
> [@Brodi](#): > > How the heck to I end this with looking like a jerk? His friend sing his praises, by I’m skeeved out beyond belief. You won’t look like a jerk. Get a whole lot of gone between you and him. And it probably wouldn’t hurt to get some between you and his friends as well. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-gut-says-run-away-when-around-someone/792079/15 "2017-07-25T20:53:08Z")
It boggles my mind that some guys think sending (unsolicited) dick pics is acceptable behavior?? Creepy. I’m sorry you have to deal with it, **Brodi**. I hope you can use some of the good advice you’ve gotten here. (I downloaded _The Gift of Fear_.) ---
**Author:** ![Brodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Brodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brodi)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-gut-says-run-away-when-around-someone/792079/16 "2017-07-25T22:31:08Z")
I don’t really know any of his friends, just met one at an event. I’ve blocked him both on my phone and FB, so there is no way he can reach me. What also helps is that he lives a great distance from me, so no reason to just “bump” into him. The dick pics I think was his way to show how much he needed to screw, prior to the first pic he lamented his long “dry spell”. He also kept going on about how he had to have an “emotional bond” with someone, male or female, before he could have sex with them. This was all a sort of “build up”. At first all was fine, no warning bells, but then he started “reassuring me” that he would never think of hurting me, etc and at one point (I’m asexual, nothing goes in and I don’t put anything in anyone’s body) he graphicly hinted via text (“maybe just bend over”) that I should just “try it”. I told him hell no and he if he tried anything he’d get hurt. He then went all defensive, but stopped for several weeks. He also called me “Hon” in his texts, no clue what that was about, we def weren’t together. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-gut-says-run-away-when-around-someone/792079/17 "2017-07-25T22:51:30Z")
Yes, this guy is a potential creep/stalker. That being said, **Brodi** , you said he sent dick pics “after we sent one or two dirty texts.” So it’s not like it was something out of the blue. ---
**Author:** ![Brodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Brodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brodi)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-gut-says-run-away-when-around-someone/792079/18 "2017-07-25T22:58:52Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Yes, this guy is a potential creep/stalker. > > That being said, **Brodi** , you said he sent dick pics “after we sent one or two dirty texts.” So it’s not like it was something out of the blue. No, the first wasn’t, but the second was. We were talking about movies and out comes the dick pic. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2017, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-gut-says-run-away-when-around-someone/792079/19 "2017-07-26T00:28:37Z")
So, are we talking _Boogie Nights_, or _The Lego Batman Movie_? ---
**Author:** ![Brodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Brodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brodi)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2017, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-gut-says-run-away-when-around-someone/792079/20 "2017-07-26T02:08:11Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > So, are we talking _Boogie Nights_, or _The Lego Batman Movie_? Do I look that cultured? 😉 _Dark Tower_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-gut-says-run-away-when-around-someone/792079.md?page=2)