# When your lover says neigh

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-lover-says-neigh/364160>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [July 12, 2006, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-lover-says-neigh/364160 "2006-07-12T10:48:13Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\
**Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-lover-says-neigh/364160/1 "2006-07-12T10:48:13Z")

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I wanted to title this “Police Beat director to make documentary on horse sex” but that would have been a bit too misleading.

I’m sure many of us remember the case in Washington of a Boeing engineer who turned up dead from severe internal rupturing after trying to have sex with a stallion (named, appropriately enough, Big Dick) while his frend (the engineer’s, not Dick’s) filmed the encounter.

As one Doper put it (paraphrased), “next time you get on a 747, consider that it was designed in part by a man who failed to notice the size difference between a horse’s penis and a human’s rectum.”

Anyway, independent film director Robinson Devor (director of _Police Beat_, which was screened at Sundance in 2005) is now working on [In the Forest, There is Every Kind of Bird](http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/artsentertainment/2003097374_horse03.html), a documentary scheduled for release in 2007 that will put a human face on this widely misunderstood story. A human face no doubt wearing a very surprised expression.

I’m not sure about the title, though. My choice would have been “And The Horse He Rode In On”.

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**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\
**Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-lover-says-neigh/364160/2 "2006-07-12T12:28:21Z")

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> [@Sublight](#):
>
> the case in Washington of a Boeing engineer who turned up dead from severe internal rupturing after trying to have sex with a stallion

The link simply referred to him as “a man in Enumclaw”, so I suppose a felicitous expression would be, “He got Enumclawed!”

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**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\
**Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-lover-says-neigh/364160/3 "2006-07-12T19:58:51Z")

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[QUOTE=Sublight]  
I’m sure many of us remember the case in Washington of a Boeing engineer who turned up dead from severe internal rupturing after trying to have sex with a stallion (named, appropriately enough, Big Dick) while his frend (the engineer’s, not Dick’s) filmed the encounter.  
[/quote]

This sounds suspiciously like an urban legend. Dare I ask if there’s a cite?

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**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\
**Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-lover-says-neigh/364160/4 "2006-07-12T20:05:13Z")

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Google “Mr. Hands.” Extremely NSFW (although I did it anyway, and this place went nuts with my co-workers quoting the receptive participant’s “UHG-FF!” for days afterwards)

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**Author:** ![Mouse\_Maven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@Mouse\_Maven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mouse_Maven)\
**Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-lover-says-neigh/364160/5 "2006-07-12T20:05:16Z")

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[QUOTE=rjung]  
This sounds suspiciously like an urban legend. Dare I ask if there’s a cite?  
[/QUOTE]

I am so going to hell: [cite](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenneth_Pinyan)

::Leaves to find some cheese, served on a mousetrap::

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**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\
**Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-lover-says-neigh/364160/6 "2006-07-12T20:17:33Z")

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The guy’s obituary (carefully omitting the cause of the cause of death, stated as “internal injuries”), a news story about the incident, and a follow-up story on the court case (for trespass) against the surviving witness who was going to film the event, were on the Internet and probably still are – though I decline to Google for them! :eek: I’m reasonably certain it’s not an urban legend.

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**Author:** ![DxZero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@DxZero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DxZero)\
**Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-lover-says-neigh/364160/7 "2006-07-12T20:22:11Z")

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**When your lover says neigh**

Is it too embarrasing for me to say that I didn’t get this joke the first time I read through the thread?

And now that I do get it, I wish I hadn’t?

I’m going to be giggling all the rest of the damn day because of you, **Sublight**

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**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\
**Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-lover-says-neigh/364160/8 "2006-07-12T20:32:13Z")

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This is reminding me of an honest-to-goodness real typo that appeared in a headline of the _Tulsa World_ a few years ago: **A Horse of a Different Colon**.

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**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\
**Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-lover-says-neigh/364160/9 "2006-07-12T21:14:59Z")

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Alexander Pope wrote a very funny poem to his friend Swift on the, er, difficulties that Gulliver might have had settling down with his wife again after his return from the land of the Houyhnhnms.

Mary Gulliver wakes to find her husband missing:

"I wake, I rise, and shivering with the frost,  
Search all the house; my Gulliver is lost!  
Forth in the street I rush with frantic cries:  
The windows open; all the neighbours rise:  
_Where sleeps my Gulliver? O tell me where?_  
The neighbours answer, _With the sorrel mare!_

I can’t find the poem on the net, but it’s worth searching out; it’s very funny. (Verses on Gulliver’s Travels, IV: Mary Gulliver to Captain Lemuel Gulliver)

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**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\
**Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-lover-says-neigh/364160/10 "2006-07-12T22:16:05Z")

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Bobcat Goldthwait wrote and directed a film called **Stay** that premiered at Sundance and revolves around a woman and a [secret](http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/thr/search/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1001842961) (Spoiler in link)

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**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\
**Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-lover-says-neigh/364160/11 "2006-07-12T22:47:32Z")

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[QUOTE=rjung]  
This sounds suspiciously like an urban legend. Dare I ask if there’s a cite?  
[/QUOTE]

[Top Seattle Times stories of 2005](http://archives.seattletimes.nwsource.com/cgi-bin/texis.cgi/web/vortex/display?slug=localmostread&date=20051226) Four of the top 20 articles were about that story.  
(I feel ok searching for “Top News Stories”)

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**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\
**Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-lover-says-neigh/364160/12 "2006-07-13T01:38:16Z")

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> [@Sublight](#):
>
> In the Forest, There is Every Kind of Bird

The choice of title becomes even more fatuous when you reflect upon the many kinds of birds that do _not_ live in forests - for instance, almost none of those commonly classified as seabirds or shorebirds. :dubious:

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**Author:** ![DxZero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@DxZero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DxZero)\
**Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-lover-says-neigh/364160/13 "2006-07-13T01:41:09Z")

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[QUOTE=Beware of Doug]  
The choice of title becomes even more fatuous when you reflect upon the many kinds of birds that do _not_ live in forests - for instance, almost none of those commonly classified as seabirds or shorebirds. :dubious:  
[/QUOTE]

Maybe he’s not talking about forest in the traditional sense…  
Ok, maybe he is.

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**Author:** ![Critical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Critical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical1)\
**Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-lover-says-neigh/364160/14 "2006-07-13T02:17:57Z")

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[http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=30811](http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=30811)

theres a link to a local rag that printed a couple articles on the subject. looks as though he was thinking about gettin hitched.  
heh

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**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\
**Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-lover-says-neigh/364160/15 "2006-07-13T02:42:10Z")

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Very old joke (dating from, at the latest, 1975, when [url=]_Password_ went off the air):

Queen Elizabeth II is a contestant on _Password._

EMCEE: Yes, “constitutional monarchy” is correct, Your Majesty! Just one more right answer, and that beautiful lounge suite will be yours!

[on the screen flashes the word to be guessed: HORSECOCK]

QE2: Is it . . . animal?

EMCEE: Yes, Your Majesty, it is animal!

QE2: Is it . . . edible?

EMCEE: Well . . . I suppose . . . yes, it is edible, Your Majesty!

QE2: Is it horsecock?!

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**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\
**Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-lover-says-neigh/364160/16 "2006-07-13T02:44:38Z")

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From **Mouse\_Maven** ’s Wikipedia link:

> [@](#):
>
> Other factors surrounding the death were apparently that the deceased, concerned about appearing in hospital with an unusual internal injury and the effect on his security clearance as an engineer for aerospace company Boeing…

Funny, because I just had my interview for my security clearance last week, and that was one of the questions the investigator rattled off: “Pimping? Prostitution? Sex with family members? Animals?” (As if someone is actually going to answer “Yeah, I do that!”)  
But I don’t do any of that. Really!

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**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\
**Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-lover-says-neigh/364160/17 "2006-07-13T03:14:49Z")

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[QUOTE=Cecil Adams]  
. . . you can’t park a Cadillac in a closet, you bozo.  
[/quote]

Words to live by.

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**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\
**Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-lover-says-neigh/364160/18 "2006-07-13T03:35:23Z")

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[QUOTE=Mouse\_Maven]  
I am so going to hell: [cite](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenneth_Pinyan)  
[/QUOTE]

> [@](#):
>
> “It was only after Pinyan died, when law enforcement looked for one way to punish his associates, that the legality of bestiality in Washington State became an issue … The prosecutor’s office wanted to charge [his friend] with animal abuse, but the police found no evidence of abused animals on the many videotapes they collected from his home. As there was no law against humanely [having sex with] one horse, the prosecutors could only charge [him] with trespassing.”

Similar story here a couple months ago. A guy got caught with his neighbor’s goat (female) and much to the D A’s annoyance, there were no laws against bestiality – they were swept away about 1978 when the state’s sodomy laws were repealed and nobody noticed until now. Since the neighbor reported that the goat was objecting, he _was_ charged with animal cruelty, as well as tresspassing.

Oh, and the county has a brand new bestialty law.

DD

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**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\
**Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-lover-says-neigh/364160/19 "2006-07-13T04:24:49Z")

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So, at some point in the future, it’s going to be politically incorrect to laugh at/be horrified by people who have sex with animals?

(Did the Google search for “Mr. Hands.” Found a YTMND website with Whitney Houston belting “I Will Always Love You” over animated pics of the…action.)

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**Author:** ![Seymour\_Gams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Seymour\_Gams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seymour_Gams)\
**Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-lover-says-neigh/364160/20 "2006-07-13T07:31:41Z")

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This story (and discussion of it) has caused my friend Becky to glare at me for the past few weeks. While discussing she shouted something along the lines “Why would someone think you could be fucked by a horse and not die?!” and my response “Well, there are plenty who have done it and lived to tell the tale” probably wasn’t the best thing to say… especially since she has two horses.

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-lover-says-neigh/364160.md?page=2)
