# When your name is Johnson... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 17, 2014, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-name-is-johnson/686341 "2014-04-17T14:08:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-name-is-johnson/686341/1 "2014-04-17T14:08:09Z")
…you probably shouldn’t do stuff like this: [Rapper Andre Johnson severs penis, jumps off building, but survives](http://www.cnn.com/2014/04/16/showbiz/rapper-severed-penis/index.html?hpt=hp_t2) > [@CNN](#): > > \*Los Angeles (CNN) – Rapper Andre Johnson severed his penis and jumped from a Los Angeles apartment building early Wednesday, police said. > > Johnson was seriously injured, but survived the fall from the second level of the building in North Hollywood, Los Angeles Police Sgt. William Mann said. > > Johnson, along with his recovered penis, was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, where he was being treated, Mann said.\* ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-name-is-johnson/686341/2 "2014-04-17T14:47:17Z")
They were able to save Johnson but not johnson. > [@](#): > > A spokesperson for the hospital said it does not comment on patients, but TMZ reports that attempts to reattach Johnson’s penis failed. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-name-is-johnson/686341/3 "2014-04-17T14:49:20Z")
You can call him Ray. ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-name-is-johnson/686341/4 "2014-04-17T14:57:01Z")
I saw that on CNN this morning. I can’t imagine what mental illness would cause him to do this to himself. It’s pitiful how many people are going to make him into a joke or punch line instead of having compassion for someone who is so clearly mentally ill. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-name-is-johnson/686341/5 "2014-04-17T15:01:02Z")
I think this is a bad idea for anybody, regardless of your name. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-name-is-johnson/686341/6 "2014-04-17T15:12:32Z")
Wu-Tang Ain’t got Nothin’ To Fuck With ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-name-is-johnson/686341/7 "2014-04-17T15:30:44Z")
…but ya doesn’t have to call me Johnson. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-name-is-johnson/686341/8 "2014-04-17T15:45:02Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > …but ya doesn’t have to call me Johnson. … when shorty will do. :eek: =d&r= ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-name-is-johnson/686341/9 "2014-04-17T16:51:12Z")
I could never understand why anyone would be calling me johnson, especially after curfew. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-name-is-johnson/686341/10 "2014-04-17T17:01:09Z")
Andre Johnson ne Christ Bearer was rushed to the hospital along with his detachable penis for medical treatment. [Link here](http://news-briefs.ew.com/2014/04/16/andre-johnson-suicide-attempt-wu-tang/) but right now there are not many more details than what is in the title. I can’t wait to hear more details about this. Like WHY??? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-name-is-johnson/686341/11 "2014-04-17T17:01:17Z")
**When your name is Johnson…** . . . you come from Wisconsin. An amazing number of Johnson’s in every Wisconsin telephone book. It could be worse, your Johnson could be Randy, and 7 feet long. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-name-is-johnson/686341/12 "2014-04-17T17:04:49Z")
Headline: **Johnson & No Johnson** ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-name-is-johnson/686341/13 "2014-04-17T17:20:46Z")
There is already a thread: When your name is Johnson… > **[When your name is Johnson...](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=721159)** > > …you probably shouldn’t do stuff like this: Rapper Andre Johnson severs penis, jumps off building, but survives ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-name-is-johnson/686341/14 "2014-04-17T17:30:13Z")
Well they’ll never call him Andre the Giant now. ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-name-is-johnson/686341/15 "2014-04-17T17:42:46Z")
> [@LurkerInNJ](#): > > I saw that on CNN this morning. I can’t imagine what mental illness would cause him to do this to himself. It’s common enough amongst psychotic patients to get its own name (Klingsor syndrome, which I remember because when I first heard of it, I misheard the name and thought it was named after the cross-dressing MASH character!). But yea, I won’t begrudge people the Johnson jokes, but spare a thought for the kind of terror one must be in to be driven to mutilating yourself like that (to say nothing of hopping out a window). ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-name-is-johnson/686341/16 "2014-04-17T18:17:15Z")
He can take up a new profession now as a private investigator. Dickless Tracy. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-name-is-johnson/686341/17 "2014-04-17T18:18:53Z")
> [@LurkerInNJ](#): > > It’s pitiful how many people are going to make him into a joke or punch line instead of having compassion for someone who is so clearly mentally ill. > [@Simplicio](#): > > But yea, I won’t begrudge people the Johnson jokes, but spare a thought for the kind of terror one must be in to be driven to mutilating yourself like that (to say nothing of hopping out a window). I certainly feel horribly for him, while at the same time not denying the pitch-black absurd humor in the whole situation. He has a history of erratic behavior, but I’m kind of waiting to hear that this particular episode had something to do with drugs. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-name-is-johnson/686341/18 "2014-04-17T18:21:53Z")
He was born Christ Bearer but changed his name to Andre Johnson? ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-name-is-johnson/686341/19 "2014-04-17T18:27:31Z")
Saw this story yesterday on CNN. My instant reaction was that I could almost hear the thread burning rubber, preparing to take off. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2014, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-name-is-johnson/686341/20 "2014-04-17T18:29:40Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > He was born Christ Bearer but changed his name to Andre Johnson? I think **xizor** used “ne” when he meant “a/k/a.” “Christ Bearer,” incidentally, is just an English translation of Christopher. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-your-name-is-johnson/686341.md?page=2)