# Where are all the women? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 3, 2004, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108 "2004-08-03T06:34:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![nonpolar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3da27b/32.png) [@nonpolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nonpolar)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/1 "2004-08-03T06:34:09Z")
I’m cockausian male and I can’t find any chicks to bang. 😕 When in europe girls are everywhere,streets are bustling with people it is so easy to hook up some girl. Here on the other hand when I’m horny and looking for chiks, streets are almost deserted ,all people driving their cars so I go home and thank God for internet I check hardcore porn sites and martustubate. How long can I do that?my hand hurts and it gets boring ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Brutus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Brutus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brutus)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/2 "2004-08-03T06:36:12Z")
Sounds like a problem the Time Cube could solve… ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/3 "2004-08-03T06:38:27Z")
> [@nonpolar](#): > > I’m cockausian male and I can’t find any chicks to bang. 😕 They run when tey see attitudes and spelling as evidenced in the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/4 "2004-08-03T06:40:04Z")
Judging from your OP, hiding from you. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/5 "2004-08-03T07:03:33Z")
> [@nonpolar](#): > > I’m cockausian male and I can’t find any chicks to bang. In my experience, “chicks” prefer not to “bang” “cockausian” males. Make of that what you wish. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/6 "2004-08-03T07:16:41Z")
**nonpolar** ’s writing style is a perfect match for those e-mails I keep getting from lonely Russian girls. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/7 "2004-08-03T07:21:02Z")
So forward those lonely Russian emails over to nonpolar. Perhaps they can comfort him while he writes his will and dies of chest pains. ---
**Author:** ![jttm80](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@jttm80](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jttm80)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/8 "2004-08-03T07:58:37Z")
Why would \*\*nonpolar \*\* want to read emails that he wrote himself? ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/9 "2004-08-03T07:58:44Z")
This is a joke, right? ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/10 "2004-08-03T09:43:24Z")
I believe it is. Otherwise, the username would have been spelled “Nunpoler”. ---
**Author:** ![Brutus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Brutus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brutus)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/11 "2004-08-03T09:46:34Z")
His name is an anagram for ‘PORNALON’. Just missing an ‘E’. ---
**Author:** ![cmason32](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@cmason32](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmason32)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/12 "2004-08-03T10:03:49Z")
> [@nonpolar](#): > > I’m cockausian male and I can’t find any chicks to bang. 😕 > When in europe girls are everywhere,streets are bustling with people it is so easy to hook up some girl. > Here on the other hand when I’m horny and looking for chiks, streets are almost deserted ,all people driving their cars so I go home and thank God for internet I check hardcore porn sites and martustubate. > How long can I do that?my hand hurts and it gets boring ☹ Why do you hate America? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Ryle\_Dup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Ryle\_Dup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryle_Dup)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/13 "2004-08-03T10:35:39Z")
> [@cmason32](#): > > Why do you hate America? 😕 Is it the freedom? ---
**Author:** ![NutMagnet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea5d25/32.png) [@NutMagnet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutMagnet)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/14 "2004-08-03T10:42:12Z")
It’s the _martustubating_. They all know you martustubate. Knock that off and you’ll be fine. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/15 "2004-08-03T10:56:01Z")
> [@nonpolar](#): > > I’m cockausian male and I can’t find any chicks to bang. 😕 Gee. I wonder why? ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/16 "2004-08-03T12:25:51Z")
I’ll let you in on a little secret. They are all in Saudi Arabia. Not. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/17 "2004-08-03T12:33:19Z")
> [@nonpolar](#): > > I’m **cock** ausian male and I can’t find any chicks to bang. Unfortunately, I’m too mentally exhausted to think of a response to this potentially punny post. ---
**Author:** ![Chairman\_Pow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Chairman\_Pow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chairman_Pow)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/18 "2004-08-03T13:16:53Z")
> [@Brutus](#): > > His name is an anagram for ‘PORNALON’. Just missing an ‘E’. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Aldebaran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Aldebaran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aldebaran)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/19 "2004-08-03T13:21:46Z")
You all have no clue about the real problem that enfolds itself here under your very eyes. There are quite a few possible explanations for the OP’s difficulties. > [@OP](#): > > I’m cockausian male and I can’t find any chicks to bang. Maybe it is because the invasion of males from the Planet Cockausan is still to recent in the history of earth and hence all those chicks don’t recognize you as being from the opposite sex. > [@](#): > > When in europe girls are everywhere,streets are bustling with people it is so easy to hook up some girl. Being a cockasian male, the OP hase no idea about the difference between EU and USA. Obviously the crowded streets in EU cities have everything to do with the EU’s countries population. Crowded like hell, all trying to escape the Alien Cockasian Male, the girls smile at him to get rid of him. Ovbiously he then thinks that they are “hooked up”, not being informed about the way he should try to please a EU girl. A few hints for our alien: sent flowers, perfum, juwelry, some of your own poetry on a romantic card, phone her ten times a day to say you think of her -don’t start talking about anything else and don’t ask her if she thinks of you, since she does while looking at flowers, using perfume, wearing juwelry - and then,after you are sure she wont start screaming as if she sees an Alien, you can safely try to invite her for candle light dinner. This does not include sex-at-the-first-evening. That has to wait until the girl is convinced she wants to se if you are indeed and ad fundum the Great Romantic Lover you appear to be. > [@](#): > > Here on the other hand when I’m horny and looking for chiks, streets are almost deserted ,all people driving their cars The solution for applying the above mentioned hints on girls in the USA is to find a car driving faster then hers. That way you can open the windows and instead of sending her flowers, you can pave the way of her car and her car with them. You can also do it by helicopter, which is a bit safer in case the girl is not all that pleased with the attention. You don’t risk to disturb with your flower droppings any of the people on the street walking by, since as you say, all streets in the USA are completely deserted. > [@](#): > > so I go home and thank God for internet I can’t agree more. Allahu Akbar. > [@](#): > > I check hardcore porn sites and martustubate. How long can I do that?my hand hurts and it gets boring I have no idea about this because I am not a cockausian male. Maybe you should beem yourself back to the Planet Cockausan and ask your father about it. > [@Paul in Saudi](#): > > I’ll let you in on a little secret. They are all in Saudi Arabia. At least there they can’t rush away driving their cars. Nevertheless you still need a car faster then the one that is driving them away to start with the flower shower and in this case I would strongly recommend the helicopter. Salaam. A ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/20 "2004-08-03T13:22:02Z")
**Chairman Pow:** PORNALON + E = PORNALONE = PORN ALONE I think. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108.md?page=2)