# Where are all the women? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 3, 2004, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108 "2004-08-03T06:34:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/21 "2004-08-03T13:31:45Z")
That’s the best **Aldeberan** post EVER!!! ---
**Author:** ![Greathouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greathouse/32/2992_2.png) [@Greathouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greathouse)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/22 "2004-08-03T13:33:54Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > That’s the best **Aldeberan** post EVER!!! ABSOLUTELY. We may have witnessed a turning point in his posting style. Keep it up, man. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/23 "2004-08-03T13:38:28Z")
I think a quote from Tony Montana is relevant here > [@](#): > > In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women. You can always try this one with the ladies > [@](#): > > You’re good looking, you got a beautiful body, beautiful legs, beautiful face, all these guys in love with you. Only you got a look in your eye like you haven’t been fucked in a year! That’s sure to work! ---
**Author:** ![Brutus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Brutus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brutus)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/24 "2004-08-03T13:40:17Z")
> [@Missy2U](#): > > **Chairman Pow:** > > PORNALON + E = PORNALONE = PORN ALONE > > I think. That’s what I had in mind, but perhaps the good **Chairman** was trying to intimidate me with emoticons? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/25 "2004-08-03T13:45:41Z")
Well, see, now, that’s where the poor guy is making his first mistake. He should be looking for _wimmin_. It’s _wimmin_ that go for a guy like him. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/26 "2004-08-03T13:46:19Z")
> [@NutMagnet](#): > > It’s the _martustubating_. They all know you martustubate. Knock that off and you’ll be fine. Sounds like a combination of martyrdom and masturbation. Yikes. > [@Aldebaran](#): > > Maybe it is because the invasion of males from the Planet Cockausan is still to recent in the history of earth and hence all those chicks don’t recognize you as being from the opposite sex. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chairman\_Pow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Chairman\_Pow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chairman_Pow)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/27 "2004-08-03T13:52:28Z")
> [@Missy2U](#): > > **Chairman Pow:** > > PORNALON + E = PORNALONE = PORN ALONE > > I think. Aha. That’s one of them language jokes, innit? Et tu Brutus? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/28 "2004-08-03T13:58:47Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > They run when tey see attitudes and spelling as evidenced in the OP. Tey do? I didn’t know tat. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/29 "2004-08-03T15:54:08Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > Well, see, now, that’s where the poor guy is making his first mistake. He should be looking for _wimmin_. It’s _wimmin_ that go for a guy like him. My boyfriend has a cousin (cuzzin?) who is having trouble finding hisself a good wimmin. Another family member bought him a [“wimmin gitter”](http://www.wilde-ideas.com/Vndrs/Herr/WoodenMallet.html) to aid his efforts. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/30 "2004-08-03T16:02:23Z")
Once I found a sweet cockausian girl but she burn my dog. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/31 "2004-08-03T16:13:05Z")
Have you tried Tug Ahoy? ---
**Author:** ![paulberserker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@paulberserker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paulberserker)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/32 "2004-08-03T16:17:27Z")
You have to use Sellotape when banging chicks anyways. Dirty Scientist not understand Time Cube ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/33 "2004-08-03T16:21:24Z")
So obviously, when I am horny I need to go to Europe. If a dumbass like **nonpolar** can get laid there, I should be beating the women off with a baseball bat. Either that, or he’s full of shit. I’m leaning toward the latter. ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/34 "2004-08-03T16:22:49Z")
Although I feel very badly for suggesting this… (think of all the poor european women who will be affected) Go back to Europe!!! :wally ---
**Author:** ![omni-not](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8dc957/32.png) [@omni-not](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/omni-not)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/35 "2004-08-03T16:25:26Z")
> [@nonpolar](#): > > thank God for internet I check hardcore porn sites and martustubate. > How long can I do that?my hand hurts and it gets boring ☹ Martustubation is NEVER orbing! [Hint #33: Change hands. We wouldn’t want you to get carpal tunnel in addition to all the rest. I know it worked for me. A bit awkward at first, but you quickly get the hang of it] ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/36 "2004-08-03T16:26:03Z")
> [@little\*bit](#): > > Although I feel very badly for suggesting this… > (think of all the poor european women who will be affected) > > Go back to Europe!!! :wally Noooooooo!!! _Packs suitcase and runs screaming to the airport_ ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/37 "2004-08-03T16:35:44Z")
> [@omni-not](#): > > [Hint #33: Change hands. We wouldn’t want you to get carpal tunnel in addition to all the rest. I know it worked for me. A bit awkward at first, but you quickly get the hang of it] That’s an excellent idea. I highly recommend it. With practice, I was able to learn how to switch hands and gain a stroke. ---
**Author:** ![Greathouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greathouse/32/2992_2.png) [@Greathouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greathouse)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/38 "2004-08-03T16:43:41Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > That’s an excellent idea. I highly recommend it. With practice, I was able to learn how to switch hands and gain a stroke. An alternate technique is to simply lie on your arm until your hand falls asleep. That way it feels like someone else is doing it. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/39 "2004-08-03T17:17:17Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > Sounds like a combination of martyrdom and masturbation. Yikes. But what a way to go. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108/40 "2004-08-03T18:17:47Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Tey do? I didn’t know tat. HEY now!!! That was poor typing skills. I got it right the first time 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-all-the-women/258108.md?page=3)