# Where are the ordinary-looking gay men? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 5, 2005, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-the-ordinary-looking-gay-men/302576 "2005-05-05T19:10:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-the-ordinary-looking-gay-men/302576/21 "2005-05-06T02:14:09Z")
There used to be two that I knew personally here in Vegas (one of them was my boss, actually), but they moved to Parrhump last summer, so I don’t know. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-the-ordinary-looking-gay-men/302576/22 "2005-05-06T03:56:29Z")
What about Matt on _Melrose Place_? He was just your average looking guy. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-the-ordinary-looking-gay-men/302576/23 "2005-05-06T12:14:33Z")
Martin Mull & Fred Willard played a gay couple on _Roseanne_. Who thinks either of them is good looking? ---
**Author:** ![Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Licentious_Ectomorph)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-the-ordinary-looking-gay-men/302576/24 "2005-05-06T13:42:56Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > What about Matt on _Melrose Place_? He was just your average looking guy. Really? Wow, you all have very different tastes from me. I had/have a big ol’ crush on him. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-the-ordinary-looking-gay-men/302576/25 "2005-05-06T14:05:49Z")
He’s not gay in real life (that I know of), but he does play one on TV. I give you Bobby Cannavale (Will’s policeman boyfriend). He can pound absolutely anything he wants of mine. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-the-ordinary-looking-gay-men/302576/26 "2005-05-06T19:52:04Z")
> [@Licentious Ectomorph](#): > > I feel similarly about Brian on _Queer as Folk_. I love the show dearly, but I just can’t get on board with Brian supposedly being this irresistible sex god whom everyone wants to sleep with. If I saw him in a club I wouldn’t look twice, and if he hit on me I’d tell him to go pound sand. On the other hand, Ted is portrayed as a loser who can’t get laid, but in real life I don’t think he’d have any problem. Well, I’m not a gay man, but I’d walk a hundred miles for some Brian Kenney. I fantasize about that guy! As for Ted, they made him out to be a loser for the first two seasons, but he started getting some action and even coupled up with Emmett in season three, I think. I think the “normal” looking guy on QaF is Michael. He’s just a little geeky guy. I’m not entirely sure who the sex gods are in the gay world, but not many women would be falling over themselves for his looks. However, I get the impression that gay guys like the younger, more innocent-looking guys. I don’t know, my only real frame of reference is Queer as Folk, and I’m sure that’s not reality. Emmett is impossibly cute. No one IRL is that cute. ---
**Author:** ![Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Licentious_Ectomorph)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-the-ordinary-looking-gay-men/302576/27 "2005-05-06T20:13:09Z")
Michael is cute, but in a “little brother” sort of way and not an “I want to do him” sort of way. For me, at least. I feel comfortable saying that QaF is quite an accurate portrayal of a sizeable segment of gay culture. Anyone agree? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-the-ordinary-looking-gay-men/302576/28 "2005-05-06T21:00:55Z")
> [@Licentious Ectomorph](#): > > Really? Wow, you all have very different tastes from me. I had/have a big ol’ crush on him. Oh, no, I thought Matt (or whatever the guy’s name was in real life) was VERY cute too. But he wasn’t an “uber-hunk”, with super muscles, or the impeccably dressed, stylish, with it gay man. He was just an average guy, albeit a very good-looking one. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-the-ordinary-looking-gay-men/302576/29 "2005-05-06T22:00:47Z")
Well, [I’m](http://my.gay.com/sampiro) pretty ordinary looking, having seen a gym in so long I’d think it was a Wendy’s (though that has to change soon) and would go for barbecued ribs any day of the week rather than something made from whale spleens and oregano that ends with six consecutive vowels like so much of the stuff cooked on _Queer Eye_ and in gay sitcoms. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-the-ordinary-looking-gay-men/302576/30 "2005-05-06T22:05:30Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Well, [I’m](http://my.gay.com/sampiro) pretty ordinary looking, having seen a gym in so long I’d think it was a Wendy’s (though that has to change soon) and would go for barbecued ribs any day of the week rather than something made from whale spleens and oregano that ends with six consecutive vowels like so much of the stuff cooked on _Queer Eye_ and in gay sitcoms. Dammit, I still say that profile should be framed and hung in some sort of gallery. It’s a jewel! ---
**Author:** ![supervenusfreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@supervenusfreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supervenusfreak)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-the-ordinary-looking-gay-men/302576/31 "2005-05-06T22:16:58Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Well, [I’m](http://my.gay.com/sampiro) pretty ordinary looking, having seen a gym in so long I’d think it was a Wendy’s (though that has to change soon) and would go for barbecued ribs any day of the week rather than something made from whale spleens and oregano that ends with six consecutive vowels like so much of the stuff cooked on _Queer Eye_ and in gay sitcoms. Jayjay told me to check out your profile. It made me break out in belly laughs! We “ordinary looking gay guys” are really everywhere, except the media. Hell it took a spanish director to get us up on the big screen. [CLICK](http://www.mangafilms.es/cachorro/#) . Well there is that one and then James Gandofini in [The Mexican](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0236493/). WOOF! ---
**Author:** ![supervenusfreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@supervenusfreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supervenusfreak)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-the-ordinary-looking-gay-men/302576/32 "2005-05-06T22:18:26Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Martin Mull & Fred Willard played a gay couple on _Roseanne_. Who thinks either of them is good looking? LOL. They were great on that show too. I know several gay men who have had a “thing” for John Goodman too. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-the-ordinary-looking-gay-men/302576/33 "2005-05-06T22:18:56Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Dammit, I still say that profile should be framed and hung in some sort of gallery. It’s a jewel! Thanks. 😉 Unfortunately you’re alone- if you don’t count offers to smuggle bank accounts out of Nigeria it hasn’t gotten an e-mail in months and months and months and months. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-the-ordinary-looking-gay-men/302576/34 "2005-05-06T22:21:23Z")
> [@supervenusfreak](#): > > I know several gay men who have had a “thing” for John Goodman too. Ewww… Well, maybe when he’s dressed as Linda Tripp… it’s more the unhealthy heavy breathing than the looks that turn me off. (Boy needs to quit smoking and lose a good 75 lbs. for starters, and not for vanity but so he won’t be another John Candy.) ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-the-ordinary-looking-gay-men/302576/35 "2005-05-06T22:25:07Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Thanks. 😉 Unfortunately you’re alone- if you don’t count offers to smuggle bank accounts out of Nigeria it hasn’t gotten an e-mail in months and months and months and months. Well, it’s wasted on the wretched hive of scum, villainy and twinky shallowness that is [gay.com](http://gay.com). Location, location, location! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-the-ordinary-looking-gay-men/302576/36 "2005-05-06T22:27:47Z")
[Derek Jacobi](http://www.dramahouse.co.uk/images/codepic.jpg) as Alan Turing (_Breaking the Code_, [Stephen Fry](http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B00004R95H.02.LZZZZZZZ.jpg) as Oscar Wilde (_Wilde_), and [Ian McKellen](http://www.carterburwell.com/tbi_graphics/Project_Images/Gods_&_Monsters_CD.jpg) in _Gods & Monsters_ weren’t sex gods (though the last two at least featured both of them falling for one, just as John Hurt fell for Jason Priestley in one movie). [Hal Holbrook in “That Certain Summer”](http://www.dga.org/news/v29_1/images/dept-may04/scrapbook-504.jpg) was a regular middle aged dad wrestling with his orientation, though that was 30+ years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-the-ordinary-looking-gay-men/302576/37 "2005-05-06T23:00:47Z")
Michael McKean in two of the three endings in _Clue_. John Mahoney and Robert Arce in _The Broken Hearts Club_. Michael Caine in _Deathtrap_. Richard Ganoung in _Billy’s Hollywood Screen Kiss_. Most of the male cast of _Parting Glances_ (including Ganoung again). ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-the-ordinary-looking-gay-men/302576/38 "2005-05-07T00:58:36Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Well, [I’m](http://my.gay.com/sampiro) pretty ordinary looking, having seen a gym in so long I’d think it was a Wendy’s (though that has to change soon) and would go for barbecued ribs any day of the week rather than something made from whale spleens and oregano that ends with six consecutive vowels like so much of the stuff cooked on _Queer Eye_ and in gay sitcoms. [I’d](http://my.gay.com/doktor_fate) say you’re cute. But attractiveness is subjective and in the eye of the beholder. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-the-ordinary-looking-gay-men/302576/39 "2005-05-07T03:49:08Z")
What about the gay couple from **Northern Exposure**? I always thought they were wonderfully normal, except for being decorators/inn owners or whatever it is they did. Who the heck were they, anyways? ---
**Author:** ![supervenusfreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@supervenusfreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supervenusfreak)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-the-ordinary-looking-gay-men/302576/40 "2005-05-07T04:06:01Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > What about the gay couple from **Northern Exposure**? I always thought they were wonderfully normal, except for being decorators/inn owners or whatever it is they did. > > Who the heck were they, anyways? Adam and Steve I believe… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-the-ordinary-looking-gay-men/302576.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-are-the-ordinary-looking-gay-men/302576.md?page=3)