# Where babies come from (according to my kids) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 4, 2003, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-babies-come-from-according-to-my-kids/199474 "2003-09-04T05:22:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![acrossthesea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@acrossthesea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/acrossthesea)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-babies-come-from-according-to-my-kids/199474/1 "2003-09-04T05:22:28Z")
Two year old girl: “Babies come from the baby store. Put it in a bag for Daddy. He go and get me one. Please?” Three year old boy: “No, that’s wrong. Babies come from the TOY STORE. They cost one hundred thousand sixteen thousand billion dollars.” Me: “No, babies come from in here.” (I point at my belly. I don’t go into details because they don’t have the attention spans to understand yet.) Three year old boy: “Ohhh, babies come from the BODY STORE! For free!” (he looks down at himself) “I have one in my belly now. A baby for me!” ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-babies-come-from-according-to-my-kids/199474/2 "2003-09-04T11:54:25Z")
_snicker_ I could totally picture that. My kid says hilarious stuff all the time. Kids r00l. ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-babies-come-from-according-to-my-kids/199474/3 "2003-09-04T11:55:57Z")
I heard a kindergarten boy say “I came from my Daddy’s pee-pee!” ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-babies-come-from-according-to-my-kids/199474/4 "2003-09-04T11:59:50Z")
When Dominic was in preschool, I went to pick him up one day and a little girl and a few of her friends came over and she said, matter-of-factly “there’s a baby in there!” and pointed to my stomach. I about died. “No, I’m not pregnant” “Oh. Well how come you are so fat then?” ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-babies-come-from-according-to-my-kids/199474/5 "2003-09-04T18:59:10Z")
My 7 year old daughter: “Daddy, how do cats get married?” Me: “Cats don’t get married like people do, sweetheart.” Daughter: “Of course they do, how else would we get kittens?” I hope she keeps that logical progression in mind post-puberty. ---
**Author:** ![NoCoolUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5fc32e/32.png) [@NoCoolUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoCoolUserName)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-babies-come-from-according-to-my-kids/199474/6 "2003-09-04T22:03:35Z")
Lady across the street is pregnant. Dad drives her away. Adopted Korean kid, who has been told the story of being brought from Korea by a nanny a zillion times, asks what’s going on. Mom says that they’re going to have a baby. Kid says: “Oooh! Can we go to the airport with them?” ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-babies-come-from-according-to-my-kids/199474/7 "2003-09-04T22:28:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Doctor Jackson \* > \*\*My 7 year old daughter: “Daddy, how do cats get married?” > Me: “Cats don’t get married like people do, sweetheart.” > Daughter: “Of course they do, how else would we get kittens?” > > I hope she keeps that logical progression in mind post-puberty. \*\* Heh. We’re reading “The 101 Dalmatians” with my 6 year old. At one point in the story, a female dog meets up with a male dog at a picnic and they run off into the bushes together where…(uh oh, I think to myself)…“they made hasty preparations for their marriage.” Gotta love those 1950s euphemisms. ---
**Author:** ![Rabid\_Squirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Rabid\_Squirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rabid_Squirrel)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-babies-come-from-according-to-my-kids/199474/8 "2003-09-04T22:34:07Z")
> [@](#): > > _From acrossthesea_ > Two year old girl: “Babies come from the baby store. Put it in a bag for Daddy. He go and get me one. Please?” There’s a shop in NZ called “The Baby Factory”… Sometimes, I hate my parents for screwing up my childhood. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-babies-come-from-according-to-my-kids/199474/9 "2003-09-04T22:37:02Z")
My 5 year old and 3 year old ( (I think) grasp the concept of where babies come from: baby grows inside of tummy and then you go to the hospital to have baby taken out. But what I love to do is mystify my son who always asks: “But mama, how does the baby get out of your belly?” “Same way he got in.” [Peter O’Toole in Lion in Winter] But I do so love being King! [/] ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-babies-come-from-according-to-my-kids/199474/10 "2003-09-05T00:51:51Z")
When I was pregant, My neighbor thought she’d use me for “show & tell” for her 3 year old. I was outside beaching myself (get it beach… whale…ok) I heard momma saying yes, she does, she has a baby inside her tummy!" Then I heard the pounding a little feet charging me. I sat up just in time to avoid a head on collision. The little girl was red faced and mad as hell. Momma caught her before she could kick me. I sat dumbfounded! Momma asked what was wrong. we heard through hickoughing sobs, “Only BAD people eat babies!” I guess momma left something out… ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-babies-come-from-according-to-my-kids/199474/11 "2003-09-05T00:53:29Z")
the keyboard is NOT my friend. That would be hiccoughing, ---
**Author:** ![Orange\_Skinner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3be4f8/32.png) [@Orange\_Skinner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orange_Skinner)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-babies-come-from-according-to-my-kids/199474/12 "2003-09-05T01:39:51Z")
My younger brother once decided to inform my ex-boyfriend and I how reproduction worked after he saw him kiss me… According to him, at the ripe old age of nine and a half, the penis sprouted magical impregnating wires, as did a similar patch of wires that issued from the female’s navel. The wires would interlock, writhe around for a bit, and…that was sex. Of course, he’s a Play Station, Nintendo and computer junkie, so everything has to be related to something electrical. ---
**Author:** ![Mooney252](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7c8e57/32.png) [@Mooney252](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooney252)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-babies-come-from-according-to-my-kids/199474/13 "2003-09-05T03:04:30Z")
In the old days everything came from Sears. Ergo, babies came from Sears too. You don’t believe it? Parents would note that the fridge came from Sears, the washing machine from Sears, the vacuum cleaner from Sears – why not babies too? ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-babies-come-from-according-to-my-kids/199474/14 "2003-09-05T17:44:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mooney252 \* > \*\*Ergo, babies came from Sears too. > \*\* But you were a Blue Light Special at K-Mart. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![poiema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@poiema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/poiema)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-babies-come-from-according-to-my-kids/199474/15 "2003-09-05T18:16:51Z")
when my niece was about 2, my sister had another baby, a boy. one day, when my sister was changing his daiper, my niece looked down at him, pointed at his penis and asked, “when’s that going to fall off and he’ll become a girl?” she had decided that since the umbilical cord had fallen off, other parts should too. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-babies-come-from-according-to-my-kids/199474/16 "2003-09-05T21:11:05Z")
My brother insisted that babies came falling down from the sky and crashed though the ceiling. He liked crashes. My daughter is 3, and is very into babies, since she has a 5-month-old sister. I think most little girls will do this–she claims to have a baby growing in her tummy (“woom”). This baby is a girl, 3 months old, and named Kallik. Geniegirl also nurses and burps her animals, and the other day she was using the hourglass from a game to pretend to pump milk. It’s all pretty amusing. She has yet to ask how the baby gets in or out, though. ---
**Author:** ![GrandfatherTrout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f17d59/32.png) [@GrandfatherTrout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandfatherTrout)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-babies-come-from-according-to-my-kids/199474/17 "2003-09-05T21:17:17Z")
My father used to insist (in a tone that I’m sure Calvin’s Dad would have used) that I came from the Boy Factory in Red Bluff, CA. I hated it when he said that. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-babies-come-from-according-to-my-kids/199474/18 "2003-09-05T21:25:06Z")
My son asked me one time where babies came from. I said they came from the stork. “Wow, Dad. You screwed a stork?” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![acrossthesea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@acrossthesea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/acrossthesea)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-babies-come-from-according-to-my-kids/199474/19 "2003-09-06T15:53:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by poiema \* > \*\*when my niece was about 2, my sister had another baby, a boy. one day, when my sister was changing his daiper, my niece looked down at him, pointed at his penis and asked, “when’s that going to fall off and he’ll become a girl?” > > she had decided that since the umbilical cord had fallen off, other parts should too. \*\* Hahah! A story my parents liked to tell was how when I was 2 or 3 I had a friend named Paul. One day, Paul was getting his diaper changed and I watched, then ran over to my mother and yelled, “Look, Mommy! Paul has a tail…and it’s in front…and it’s WIGGLING!!!” (still not sure why it was wiggling…perhaps the motion of changing him? My son’s “tail” doesn’t “wiggle” when he’s gotten changed.) ---
**Author:** ![Amberlei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e56c9b/32.png) [@Amberlei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amberlei)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-babies-come-from-according-to-my-kids/199474/20 "2003-09-06T16:09:15Z")
When my son was six or seven, a pregnant friend came over to visit. He looked at her and said “I know what you’ve been doing.” “Oh you do, do you? And just what have I been doing?” “You’ve been having S E X”