# Where can I buy a functional monocle?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-functional-monocle/674276
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [November 19, 2013, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-functional-monocle/674276 "2013-11-19T18:21:01Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2013, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-functional-monocle/674276/1 "2013-11-19T18:21:01Z")
I don’t want anything fancy, just a reading glass lens in a frame (preferably cheap enough so I can jam it in my pocket and replace when it gets scratched up). All I can find are fake/costume monocles with flat or no lenses. Surely someone still makes monocles, right?
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### Author:  [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2013, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-functional-monocle/674276/2 "2013-11-19T18:48:42Z")
Anyone know why I never thought to put **“reading”** in my [Google searches](https://www.google.com/search?q=reading+monocle&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a)until _after_ I posted?
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### Author:  [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2013, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-functional-monocle/674276/3 "2013-11-19T19:16:22Z")
Warber Parky has monocles (of course it has).
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### Author:  [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2013, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-functional-monocle/674276/4 "2013-11-19T19:23:44Z")
> [@madmonk28](#):
>
> Warber Parky has monocles (of course it has).
Or Warby Parker, even.
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### Author:  [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2013, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-functional-monocle/674276/5 "2013-11-19T19:23:58Z")
You’ll have to give up eating soup. You never know when someone will say something startling.
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### Author:  [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2013, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-functional-monocle/674276/6 "2013-11-19T19:39:47Z")
I’ll give up soup if I can still hang around large-chested women with low-cut tops.
Actually, menus are a prime driver of this. I started needing reading glasses about a year or so ago. It’s not so bad that I’m incapable of functioning without them, so I rarely have them on me outside the house (in the house I have between fifteen and twenty pairs squirrelled away for easy access). But there’s the occasional menu or label that I want to read, and don’t want to carry glasses with me everywhere.
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### Author:  [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2013, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-functional-monocle/674276/7 "2013-11-19T20:15:59Z")
This doesn’t answer your question directly, but for menus and labels and such my husband for many years carried a magnifier the same size and shape as a credit card in his wallet.
Not the same one for all those years. I’d put a new one in his Christmas stocking most years. They show up near cash registers this time of year.
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### Author:  [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2013, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-functional-monocle/674276/8 "2013-11-19T20:38:22Z")
You know, you’re in a prime time to buy a monocle. Not just because of the internet, but in decades past but after they were first used it was hard. Now steampunk hipsters have created a demand for monocles and top hats
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### Author:  [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2013, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-functional-monocle/674276/9 "2013-11-19T20:42:30Z")
> [@gwendee](#):
>
> This doesn’t answer your question directly, but for menus and labels and such my husband for many years carried a magnifier the same size and shape as a credit card in his wallet.
Well, that’ll just look silly attached to a gold chain and crammed into his eye.
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### Author:  [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2013, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-functional-monocle/674276/10 "2013-11-19T20:48:52Z")
> [@Flywheel](#):
>
> Or Warby Parker, even.
That’s an odd typo on my part, is that a spoonerism?
To the OP, you’ll have to learn how to say “Hogannnnn!” like Col. Klink.
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [November 19, 2013, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-functional-monocle/674276/11 "2013-11-19T21:55:50Z")
If you find someplace that makes them, be careful not to fall into the machinery. You’ll just make a spectacle of yourself.
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### Author:  [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)
#### Post date: [November 20, 2013, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-functional-monocle/674276/12 "2013-11-20T02:38:07Z")
This actually just came up a few days ago, starting in post 102 of this [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=706674).
In case you need any more leads. 🙂
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### Author:  [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)
#### Post date: [November 20, 2013, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-functional-monocle/674276/13 "2013-11-20T03:56:19Z")
> [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](#):
>
> In case you need any more leads. 🙂
Yeah, sure. I’ll just check with the boys down at the optical lab. They got four more technicians working on the lens. They got us working in shifts!
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### Author:  [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)
#### Post date: [November 20, 2013, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-functional-monocle/674276/14 "2013-11-20T06:40:42Z")
I’ve always wondered, do you develope a callous where the frame meets your orbit? I would think some salve or neosporin would come with a functional monocle.
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### Author:  [@Floater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Floater)
#### Post date: [November 20, 2013, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-functional-monocle/674276/15 "2013-11-20T09:14:36Z")
It’s been a while since the last time I bought a monocle, but my answer is simply: Go to an optician. It’s their business idea to sell such stuff.
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### Author:  [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)
#### Post date: [November 20, 2013, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-functional-monocle/674276/16 "2013-11-20T09:27:41Z")
Actually, I’d like a reading glass monocle. I usually wear contacts-- at -5.50 each eye-- so a reading monocle might come in handy for reading small print and looking pompous. 😃
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### Author:  [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)
#### Post date: [November 20, 2013, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-functional-monocle/674276/17 "2013-11-20T14:48:12Z")
Amazon delivereth.
[http://www.amazon.com/Classic-Monocle-Diameter-Diopter-Nearsights-com/dp/B00FM5HIUI](http://www.amazon.com/Classic-Monocle-Diameter-Diopter-Nearsights-com/dp/B00FM5HIUI)
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### Author:  [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)
#### Post date: [November 20, 2013, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-functional-monocle/674276/18 "2013-11-20T15:20:05Z")
For those who wear (or want to wear) a monocle: How do you actually read with this thing? Do you close the non-monocled eye when reading? I’ve gone a couple hours with only one contact in, and when only one eye is corrected, it makes it very difficult to focus, especially on things close-up.
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### Author:  [@jim-from-nearsights](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jim-from-nearsights)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2013, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-functional-monocle/674276/19 "2013-11-21T19:32:52Z")
Hi everyone,
That’s my monocle that @bump linked to on Amazon. I have a much larger selection at [www.nearsights.com](http://www.nearsights.com) - please check them out! All of our monocles come with standard reading lenses, but we also offer prescription lenses if needed.
@Happy_Lendervedder, a monocle is actually very easy to wear and comfortable. The galleries on the back of the monocle make it simple to hold in your eye. I’ve talked to customers who wear their monocles for extended periods when reading without an issue. But most people use their monocle for occasional reading - menus, phones, grocery store labels - things like that.
I’m happy to answer other questions - thanks!
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### Author:  [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2013, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-functional-monocle/674276/20 "2013-11-21T20:04:45Z")
If I should ever win \> $100 million after taxes in a lottery, I will promptly buy a tuxedo with tails, a tophat, and a monocle.
Then show up at friend’s events, speak in a phony upper class accent and call them all peasants and riff-raff.