# Where can I buy a human brain?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-human-brain/656337>\
**Category:** Factual Questions\
**Created:** [April 21, 2013, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-human-brain/656337 "2013-04-21T21:58:51Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-human-brain/656337/21 "2013-04-22T00:37:41Z")

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It’s going to be very interesting when some newbie zombifies this thread 5 years down the road!

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**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-human-brain/656337/22 "2013-04-22T00:56:04Z")

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> [@John\_Mace](#):
>
> It’s going to be very interesting when some newbie zombifies this thread 5 years down the road!

My exact about-to-post!

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**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-human-brain/656337/23 "2013-04-22T01:31:11Z")

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I went to grad school in behavioral neuroscience and used to keep a five pound bucket of real human brains beside my desk. Fixed brains (in formaldehyde) are about the least gross body part you can present to a class. They look like clay or putty and feel like it too. I always liked giving brain anatomy demonstrations to undergrads because it was a universal hit. Even the most timid sorority girls stayed after class to handle them and everyone was fascinated. Unfortunately, I don’t know where you can buy them on demand. We got ours from the medical school after the cadavers had served their purpose.

Fresh brains don’t feel like cottage cheese BTW. I can promise you that from experience. They are soft but have a definite and easily observable structure especially in the areas like the corpus callosum and brain stem. The various cortexes are also well-defined just like any other organ. Human brains are much smaller than most people expect as well. There are over 700 anatomical areas within that small area that you can point to if you know what you are talking about and about 50 if you just want to cover functions at a gross level.

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**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-human-brain/656337/24 "2013-04-22T06:05:25Z")

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Cottage cheese – that was used to describe how soft a fresh brain is, not that the brain feels like that. **Shagnasty** , would you agree, or else how would you descibe it? Inquiring brains want to know.

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**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-human-brain/656337/25 "2013-04-22T06:22:22Z")

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Showing a human brain to kindergartners might not be the best career move.

Blowing up the science lab in junior high, passing out condoms in health class, and using human brains for show and tell in kindergarten are the sort of things that one might expect to be career limiting, regardless of their pedagogical value.

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**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-human-brain/656337/26 "2013-04-22T07:23:10Z")

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> [@Washoe](#):
>
> . These are kindergartners we’re talking about. .

Presenting a human brain to kindergartners? Seems to me it’s the perfect recipe to lose a job.

You should probably get the approval of the principal before doing such a thing.

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**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-human-brain/656337/27 "2013-04-22T09:05:23Z")

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> [@clairobscur](#):
>
> Presenting a human brain to kindergartners? Seems to me it’s the perfect recipe to lose a job.
> 
> You should probably get the approval of the principal before doing such a thing.

In writing, if you do this.

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**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-human-brain/656337/28 "2013-04-22T13:58:50Z")

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get a calf brain or something closer to child size.

tell them it was from this kid that’s no longer around that always was a trouble maker. it will then serve dual purposes.

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**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-human-brain/656337/29 "2013-04-22T15:36:22Z")

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Then tell them it’s often served with a brown butter sauce and perhaps some capers. Or gently stirred into scrambled eggs. Don’t forget to first soak it in milk for a while and remove the medulla before using.

Then, as we all know, they are served by announcing …

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**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-human-brain/656337/30 "2013-04-22T15:58:42Z")

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> [@Washoe](#):
>
> The kids in my class would go totally apeshit over something like this. They would be talking about it for months. So is there any place I can get one?

In some cases maybe for years . . . to their therapist.

Kindergarteners! Come on!

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**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-human-brain/656337/31 "2013-04-22T16:05:37Z")

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> [@Colibri](#):
>
> One of my students fainted the first time she saw a cadaver. She was probably 19.

Yes…but you _were_ teaching algebra at the time.

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**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-human-brain/656337/32 "2013-04-22T16:21:42Z")

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> [@Czarcasm](#):
>
> Yes…but you _were_ teaching algebra at the time.

While I have had some stiffs in my classes, most of them weren’t actually embalmed.😉

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**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-human-brain/656337/33 "2013-04-22T16:23:47Z")

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Buy a brain? Sigh, kids these days always want to take short cuts. Back in my day all you needed was a good shovel and and hunch backed assistant. :mad:

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**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-human-brain/656337/34 "2013-04-22T17:50:54Z")

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> [@njtt](#):
>
> In some cases maybe for years . . . to their therapist.
> 
> Kindergarteners! Come on!

Wouldn’t be the first time. We’ve had parents who are MDs bring in skeletal tissue and blood for demonstration. Some of the teachers have done small animal dissections. This is a lab school we’re talking about. Children aren’t idiots. We don’t tell children that they can’t engage in mock gun play. Each class is allowed to vote at the beginning of the year whether or not to permit gun play in their room.

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**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-human-brain/656337/35 "2013-04-22T18:15:15Z")

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> [@Washoe](#):
>
> Wouldn’t be the first time. We’ve had parents who are MDs bring in skeletal tissue and blood for demonstration. Some of the teachers have done small animal dissections. This is a lab school we’re talking about. Children aren’t idiots. We don’t tell children that they can’t engage in mock gun play. Each class is allowed to vote at the beginning of the year whether or not to permit gun play in their room.

Frankly, being shown human blood or bones is a long way from _handling_ a brain. They may not be idiots but they are still small children, and, frankly, I am quite sure that plenty of adults would be seriously squinked out by being expected to do something like that.

I do not know what your school’s policy on mock gun play has to do with anything.

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**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-human-brain/656337/36 "2013-04-22T18:34:08Z")

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All you need is a good Igor.

Hello. My name is Ranger Jeff. I’m a Pterryholic.

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**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-human-brain/656337/37 "2013-04-22T18:34:53Z")

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> [@njtt](#):
>
> I do not know what your school’s policy on mock gun play has to do with anything.

It illustrates the point that children are not idiots, nor do we treat them as such.

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**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-human-brain/656337/38 "2013-04-22T19:29:22Z")

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> [@Washoe](#):
>
> Children aren’t idiots.

It’s not the children that I’d be concerned about – it’s their parents. Run it up the chain and then through the parents first.

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**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-human-brain/656337/39 "2013-04-22T20:06:46Z")

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SOP.

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**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\
**Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-can-i-buy-a-human-brain/656337/40 "2013-04-22T20:08:17Z")

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… Need answer fast?

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