And I won’t charge him a thing because I know that my bevy of Amazon bodyguards will keep his money safe while it is with me at the roulette wheel!
Back when I was in bankruptcy, had no bank account and had to deal entirely in cash, I kept my money inside my large, hardbound The Complete Works of William Shakespeare* at about eye level on my bookshelf. Figured if people ransacked my apartment, it was hardly likely that they’d go through all my books, especially that one. I separated out the bills enough so that there was never any tell-tale gaps in the pages to indicate that there was something in the book. On the rare occasion when I had too much cash (or just a bunch of smaller bills), I kept the overflow inside the book next to it, Blackadder: The Whole Damned Dynasty. Under the episode ‘Money’, of course.
- Or as I called it at the time, The Complete Bank of William Shakespeare
What’s not a bank? Sure, the check-cashing place is not a bank… but you know the money itself is in a bank until you spend it.
For the OP: This is one of those features of modern life you just can’t avoid. Strike back at the banking system by finding the best bank you can and rewarding them with your business. Credit unions are a good place to start.
Would this work? I got the idea from an MMO
Keep your money in limbo through the post office. Send it to yourself, then reject the letter and put return to sender, then send it again. If you have insurance on the thing for what its worth, and usually insurance is pretty cheap relatively, couldn’t you tie up your money forever in the mail and ensure that its safe?
Check into a bank that offers “Reward Checking”. I have such an account and they pay 3% interest on the account with no minimum and no fees. Requirements: You have to complete 12 check card transactions a month and get your balance sheet from them electronically. They reimburse you for all ATM transaction fees. Can’t beat this - most CDs are paying less than 1% and your money is locked up tight.
By putting your money in a bank you provide resources that someone might need at some point. If everyone did what you want to do banks wouldn’t be able to loan money to people who want to start or expand a business, or own a home. While I agree that 0.05% is laughable, at least your money would be available to help your local community… but I also endorse Credit Unions since they are much more likely to treat you fairly and not worry so much about making a huge profit for their stockholders.
There are many places to put money other than banks; they all have their advantages and disadvantages.
The most obvious alternative to a bank or credit union would be a mutual fund. For maximal safety, you could invest in a Treasury money market fund. The yield would be extremely low in the current interest rate environment, but at least you would have access to your money at any time. And, if rates do go up in the interim, you will receive the benefit of that.
If you’re willing to accept some level of risk, you could try a bond mutual fund. Although they fluctuate in value, the fluctuations are not necessarily all that great (depending on the fund). You can currently get a yield of 1.54% with the Vanguard Short-Term Investment Grade Fund, or 2.82% with the Vanguard GNMA Fund.
If the money is somewhat disposable, put it in a stock with long-term stability, like energy companies. Do some research and you will see which ones do consistently well in the long-term.
What bank is this? If what you describe is true and it’s in the US, I’ll be moving several bank accounts there tomorrow.
I have kind of the same thing with Wells Fargo Premium Membership Checking. No fees, no minimum balance, earn interest. I don’t even have to do the 12 transactions thing.
What are the requirements for the “Premium”? Wells has started charging for their regular checking unless you do direct deposit of a certain amount each month or have a $1500 average balance. And I don’t think i get any interest.
Like, totally disposable?
Just over 10 years ago, a well known energy company, Enron, looked like a great investment.
Bottom line, I would strongly discourage anyone from thinking that investing in a single company’s stock, regardless of industry or history, is a safe investment. Don’t do this, unless you just like to gamble. Been there, done that, and didn’t even get a Tshirt.
A diversified stock fund is more reasonable alternative (though still has risk).
Here seems to be the one I have although they call it ‘Preferred’ there, on my statements it’s called ‘Premium’. I get the fees waived because I have a monthly direct deposit, mortgage, online banking, and a monthly transfer to the attached savings account.
Under your pillow.
But it is a bank. Sure, an employee of a check cashing store takes your info and hands you the card, but the card itself is issued by a bank. Take a look at one; the name of the bank will be on the back.
On a different note, they don’t all charge a fee initially for the card or to open the account, and they don’t all charge a maintenance fee as long you have above a minimum balance. On the card I used to use for online poker, there was no fee as long as the balance was over $10, and I didn’t pay anything to get the card.
And while I got it at a check cashing place near me, it was actually issued by The Bancorp Bank… so they got the use of whatever balance I had on the card.
Here are two possibilities.
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Establish a trading account in an investment firm. They will hold your money, because they expect you to use it to buy and sell investment instruments. But you don’t have to, just leave it there on account. My favorite is Kitco.com, which is in Canada, so you can send them US dollars to fund your account, but they do not report anything to the US government. You can use the funds to buy Gold pool shares at about a 1% spread online, and the value of your investment goes up and down with the Gold price.
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I think the best place to put it in your house is in the drawer in the bottom of your kitchen stove. Keep your boxes of foil and saran wrap and baggies in that drawer, and pack one of them with cash. No thief will sorf through all your crappy cookie sheets and baking pans down there, and the metal stove will give you a fair amount of protection against any fire that doesn’t completely burn your home to the ground.
Please note that (almost) all of these types of accounts have a maximum balance limit, so don’t plan on investing hundreds of thousands of dollars unless you are prepared to make hundreds of debit card purchases per month and keep track of dozens of accounts.
Remember that the Federal Government has a target of 2% annual inflation. This means the buying power of your money is going down at least 2% (probably a lot more!) each year.
You’d better find a place where your money can earn at least 2 % so your are at least breaking even.
Vanguard Mutual Funds are famous for their very low fees and making people money in the long run. Their Total Stock Index Fund might be a good place to start. It “buys” just about the total US Stock Market. Over the last 18 years, it has returned over 8% a year on average. That beats the inflation rate.
I’m going to bury all my money in a hole in the ground alongside a nearby river.
Oh wait. That’s a bank.