# Where have you gone Cecil Adams? Our nation turns its Covid-19 eyes to you. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [March 23, 2020, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-have-you-gone-cecil-adams-our-nation-turns-its-covid-19-eyes-to-you/850124 "2020-03-23T21:18:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2020, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-have-you-gone-cecil-adams-our-nation-turns-its-covid-19-eyes-to-you/850124/21 "2020-03-26T14:28:20Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > This is Chicago, IL we’re talking about. There’s virtually no “upstate” there. Waukegan is upstate.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2020, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-have-you-gone-cecil-adams-our-nation-turns-its-covid-19-eyes-to-you/850124/22 "2020-03-26T16:19:55Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > Who is going to pay Ed to start playing Cecil again? He’s certainly not going to do it as volunteer work and, especially these days, no media company is going to lose money by hiring a columnist. ::::fingers in ears:::::I can’t hear you. I assume Lil’Ed is a lifetime member of the SDMB. As well as Cecil. Nobody needs to be paid. Unca Cecil, come tell us ‘hi’ for moral support! Pah—lease! ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2020, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-have-you-gone-cecil-adams-our-nation-turns-its-covid-19-eyes-to-you/850124/23 "2020-03-26T21:56:43Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > Who is going to pay Ed to start playing Cecil again? He’s certainly not going to do it as volunteer work and, especially these days, no media company is going to lose money by hiring a columnist. I see people writing columns all over the Internet. People are making money doing this. Ads, endorsements, clicks, and all that. And it’s easier to make money the more famous you are. Cecil Adams was pretty far up that scale in terms of columnists. I had assumed it was the usual “we’re going in a different direction” stuff. But “Cecil Adams” is a brand that’s just sitting there, mostly unused. And now would be a great time to launch but do it Internet-style rather than the old school free weekly thing. And, basically, America needs the Straight Dope again. Time for some people to put that ahead of business-think and go for it. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2020, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-have-you-gone-cecil-adams-our-nation-turns-its-covid-19-eyes-to-you/850124/24 "2020-03-26T22:42:06Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > I see people writing columns all over the Internet. People are making money doing this. Ads, endorsements, clicks, and all that. And it’s easier to make money the more famous you are. Cecil Adams was pretty far up that scale in terms of columnists. > > I had assumed it was the usual “we’re going in a different direction” stuff. But “Cecil Adams” is a brand that’s just sitting there, mostly unused. And now would be a great time to launch but do it Internet-style rather than the old school free weekly thing. > > And, basically, America needs the Straight Dope again. Time for some people to put that ahead of business-think and go for it. It sounds like you have an incredible business plan there. How much of your own money are you willing to invest. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2020, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-have-you-gone-cecil-adams-our-nation-turns-its-covid-19-eyes-to-you/850124/25 "2020-03-26T22:44:46Z")
I’m agreeing with you **ftg**. I want Unca Cecil. We need the straightdope on this virus. Think of the children, Unca Cecil. (:)) ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-have-you-gone-cecil-adams-our-nation-turns-its-covid-19-eyes-to-you/850124/26 "2020-03-27T12:03:21Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > It sounds like you have an incredible business plan there. How much of your own money are you willing to invest. I am not in the Internet column business, but I see a ton of them around. The Atlantic, Slate, etc. all have them. I assume that these writers are not doing it for free. I also assume that the media company that owns the rights to the column is far from ignorant of these matters. Either they have a “thing” about such a business model or are incompetent. So the Cecil Adams brand lies fallow when it could be used. Just sell it off to someone who will actually put it to its God given function. (Reading about the upheavals at the Reader since the latest owners took over indicates that there is indeed some less-than-savvy people about. This reinforces the “just sell off the CA rights” argument.) And I agree: Think of the children. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-have-you-gone-cecil-adams-our-nation-turns-its-covid-19-eyes-to-you/850124/27 "2020-03-27T12:33:43Z")
It might be good to have a small group of Dopers serve as a collective Cecil, answering one vital question in a mini-essay each week. Imagine the incisiveness of Stranger on a Train, the clarity of monstro, the wit of Vinyl Turnip, and a few others getting together (remotely) to do this? It would be nice if they could get paid, even if the group consisted of folks who had a lot of time on their hands. (The three I mentioned _don’t_ have much time on their hands, I’m pretty sure — I just chose them to exemplify the blend of wit, wisdom, and evidence-based observations that we all loved about Cecil.) Unlikely to happen, but a nice little thing to imagine. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-have-you-gone-cecil-adams-our-nation-turns-its-covid-19-eyes-to-you/850124/28 "2020-03-27T15:09:05Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > I am not in the Internet column business, but I see a ton of them around. The Atlantic, Slate, etc. all have them. I assume that these writers are not doing it for free. I also assume that the media company that owns the rights to the column is far from ignorant of these matters. Me too. That’s why they are not interested in investing in it. > [@](#): > > Either they have a “thing” about such a business model or are incompetent. So the Cecil Adams brand lies fallow when it could be used. Just sell it off to someone who will actually put it to its God given function. Yet no one is clamoring to buy it. I am certain that, especially now, they’d sell it off at a bargain price > [@](#): > > (Reading about the upheavals at the Reader since the latest owners took over indicates that there is indeed some less-than-savvy people about. This reinforces the “just sell off the CA rights” argument.) Contact them and make an offer. When they decided to dump the whole thing, they were losing papers who were willing to pay for the rights to publish the column because either the papers ceased to exist or didn’t want to pay for it. You still might know differently though. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2020, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-have-you-gone-cecil-adams-our-nation-turns-its-covid-19-eyes-to-you/850124/29 "2020-04-04T00:49:24Z")
Cecil should come back to the internets, selling possets and herb compresses to cure Coronavirus. I’m old now, which means Zotti is VERY old, and I hope he’s retired to a nice farm in rural Wisconsin, enjoying cheese and bratwurst and artisanal beer. And brandy Old Fashioneds stuffed with fruit. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2020, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-have-you-gone-cecil-adams-our-nation-turns-its-covid-19-eyes-to-you/850124/30 "2020-04-04T01:22:55Z")
The classics never age. Unca Cece, I believe in you. (:)) (I’m nice like that) ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2020, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-have-you-gone-cecil-adams-our-nation-turns-its-covid-19-eyes-to-you/850124/31 "2020-04-04T03:02:14Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > “Upstate” means Wisconsin, then. He’s roaming freely on my farm, chasing rabbits, deer, wild turkeys, pheasants, and fighting with coyotes. I hear the maple sap there flows like salmon down the Niagras! ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2020, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-have-you-gone-cecil-adams-our-nation-turns-its-covid-19-eyes-to-you/850124/32 "2020-04-05T18:53:26Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > “Upstate” means Wisconsin, then. He’s roaming freely on my farm, chasing rabbits, deer, wild turkeys, pheasants, and fighting with coyotes. I think he’d prefer a little Wild Turkey with a blackberry brandy chaser. > [@Ukulele\_Ike](#): > > I’m old now, which means Zotti is VERY old… He’s younger than I, with a charming and delightful wife. If she hasn’t tossed him out. > [@JKellyMap](#): > > It might be good to have a small group of Dopers serve as a collective Cecil, answering one vital question in a mini-essay each week. > > Imagine the incisiveness of Stranger on a Train, the clarity of monstro, the wit of Vinyl Turnip, and a few others getting together (remotely) to do this? It would be nice if they could get paid, even if the group consisted of folks who had a lot of time on their hands. (The three I mentioned _don’t_ have much time on their hands, I’m pretty sure — I just chose them to exemplify the blend of wit, wisdom, and evidence-based observations that we all loved about Cecil.) > > Unlikely to happen, but a nice little thing to imagine. They can have the confusing style of **dropzone** for free. I have nothing but time. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2020, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-have-you-gone-cecil-adams-our-nation-turns-its-covid-19-eyes-to-you/850124/33 "2020-04-05T19:25:29Z")
Cecil Adams come home. We need you. Pleeeeeeeeaseeeeee! (:)) ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2020, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-have-you-gone-cecil-adams-our-nation-turns-its-covid-19-eyes-to-you/850124/34 "2020-04-06T17:50:25Z")
Ce-e-e-e-e-cil, Ce-e-e-e-e-cil, Where, oh where have you gone? (Come home!) Ce-e-e-e-e-cil, Ce-e-e-e-e-cil, Come home, Cecil, come home! ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2020, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-have-you-gone-cecil-adams-our-nation-turns-its-covid-19-eyes-to-you/850124/35 "2020-04-06T17:57:50Z")
Here’s an article on COVID, that’s as close as it’s gonna get, and just as close as it could get, on this topic. [“What we must do to beat COVID-19 now and forever” by Ed Zotti](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=893496) ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2020, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-have-you-gone-cecil-adams-our-nation-turns-its-covid-19-eyes-to-you/850124/36 "2020-04-06T21:28:35Z")
Many of us maintain the whimsical notion that Cecil has merely popped out for an enormously long lunch break, and may yet return to put in a solid afternoon’s work. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2020, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-have-you-gone-cecil-adams-our-nation-turns-its-covid-19-eyes-to-you/850124/37 "2020-04-06T21:36:38Z")
He let Lil’Ed write a column. See, I knew he was close. Come on in here Cecil…I wanna hug you. (;)) ---
**Author:** ![glowacks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/glowacks/32/5548_2.png) [@glowacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glowacks)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-have-you-gone-cecil-adams-our-nation-turns-its-covid-19-eyes-to-you/850124/38 "2020-04-08T04:21:46Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > Many of us maintain the whimsical notion that Cecil has merely popped out for an enormously long lunch break, and may yet return to put in a solid afternoon’s work. So, “Missing, Presumed Fed?” (By the way, despite that second half of the sentence being very nearly a direct quote, Google thought a article about Popeye’s Chicken with the words strewn throughout was more likely to be what I was searching for than a result where the words were in the order I gave them. And I had to have the whole second half of the sentence for it to even put it on the first page. I couldn’t use quote marks to enforce order because I was pretty sure it was more of a paraphrase, and indeed a few words are different.) ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-have-you-gone-cecil-adams-our-nation-turns-its-covid-19-eyes-to-you/850124/39 "2020-04-08T04:28:57Z")
Cecil please come home. What do I gotta do? Beg? Okay, I’m begging. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-have-you-gone-cecil-adams-our-nation-turns-its-covid-19-eyes-to-you/850124/40 "2020-04-08T14:15:05Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > Many of us maintain the whimsical notion that Cecil has merely popped out for an enormously long lunch break, and may yet return to put in a solid afternoon’s work. Well, just who do you think you are honey, Zaphod Beeblebrox or something? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-have-you-gone-cecil-adams-our-nation-turns-its-covid-19-eyes-to-you/850124.md?page=1)