# Where in the Fuck is the Stapler
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-in-the-fuck-is-the-stapler/67522
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [June 4, 2001, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-in-the-fuck-is-the-stapler/67522 "2001-06-04T14:28:20Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@kremit334](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kremit334)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-in-the-fuck-is-the-stapler/67522/1 "2001-06-04T14:28:20Z")
Okay bare with me here. I work in a computer lab here to help all that are in some serious need of computer help…or they just cant get there disk out of the mac computers. Anyhow everyday its like a broken record “Excuse me to you have a stapler”
Sometimes I just want to yell "Yes we \*\* DID \*\* have a fucking stapler, but some one took it on themselves to steal the fucker thus leading to a bunch of fucking questions like do you have a stapler. Now I know its not their fault that some idiot thought it would be such a great idea to take something that didnt belong to them, and it just being one of the most used things in the lab besides the computers and printers.
Anyhow when there is a freaking sign saying \*\* WE DO NOT HAVE A STAPLER \*\* right were the stapler used to be you would think that these so intelligent college students could umm use there brain and think to themselves \*\*"Humm gees I guess there is no stapler since this sign here tells me there isnt one so I guess it wouldnt do any good to ask the lab assistant if they have one huh? \*\*.
Maybe I am being to hard I mean gees I have only been asked that question 500 billion times in the last 20 min.
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### Author:  [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-in-the-fuck-is-the-stapler/67522/2 "2001-06-04T14:32:16Z")
I worked at data processing place once, where there were about 5 staplers on the booking tables. Each one was attached to the table by a long chain. They must have had a similar problem in the past.
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### Author:  [@Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazing_Tiki_God)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-in-the-fuck-is-the-stapler/67522/3 "2001-06-04T14:35:06Z")
Ahhh enter the computer lab workers. I know how you feel kremit. Someone decided that they should fix the stapler in my lab (dumb ass students). Well it worked before you just had to push the staples up by hand now it’s worthless they ripped the frickin’ spring out so you can’t even move the darn thing. Grrr… some days it doesn’t pay to work in a minimum wage job.
Oh and since this is the pit penile profliferating, profalactic snorting, crack whore addicted, goat felching scumbag of a fucking stapler stealer. You suck stapler stealers!
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### Author:  [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-in-the-fuck-is-the-stapler/67522/4 "2001-06-04T14:47:56Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by kremit334 \*
>
> **Okay bare with me here.**
Stripping clothes off, looking around…noticing everyone else is still clothed…slinking out of thread.
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### Author:  [@Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazing_Tiki_God)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-in-the-fuck-is-the-stapler/67522/5 "2001-06-04T14:50:30Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \*
> \*\*
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by kremit334 \*
> >
> > **Okay bare with me here.**
>
> Stripping clothes off, looking around…noticing everyone else is still clothed…slinking out of thread.
>
> \*\*
Hey now! There will be no stripping around my girlfriend. The only nekkid body she gets to see is mine! You can now return to pit like behavior.
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### Author:  [@Strainger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strainger)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-in-the-fuck-is-the-stapler/67522/6 "2001-06-04T15:41:56Z")
OK, but I’m gonna b-burn down the building.
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### Author:  [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-in-the-fuck-is-the-stapler/67522/7 "2001-06-04T17:17:32Z")
Ironically, I had the same problem last week.
This guy comes to my office to get some stuff for his study, and to inventory the remainder of what I have in stock.
He has flown all the way across the country to do this. He has known that he had to be here for 3 weeks.
He brings no pens, needs to use my stapler, wants me to find him a box, needs my scissors, and also needs me to copy stuff for him.
I sit in my office, with nothing to do, for 3 hours with this stupid fuck. He takes his precious time to count each thing, uses my scissors to cut each piece of tape perfectly to seal stuff up.
When I finally get him out of my office, I realize that not only has he taken MY STAPLER, but also MY ONE GOOD PEN, MY SCISSORS, and MY SHARPIE MARKER that I brought from home.
So I have to chase this stapler-stealin’ fuck all the way down to the first floor, where I politely remind him that the aforementioned office goods are property of the state, and would he mind returning them? He tries to laugh it off. Not funny, you stupid jackass. Mentally I smack him with the stapler and draw a mustache on his face with the Sharpie.
Luckily, I only have to see him one more time. And I am so tempted to literally smack him if he tries this shit again.
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### Author:  [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-in-the-fuck-is-the-stapler/67522/8 "2001-06-04T18:34:26Z")
Ah,
So this is why our computer lab guy always looks like he’s burning out from the inside …
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### Author:  [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-in-the-fuck-is-the-stapler/67522/9 "2001-06-04T20:08:33Z")
You could post “WE HAVE NO STAPLER” a hundred times on every surface, and you’d still get the question. I tune crap like that out, particularly on a college campus where everyone and their dog is taping signs up. Free Mumia Al Jabar! Come see this band play at the local bar! Lost dog! Vote ME for student council president! Free Tibet! Sublet cheap! Roommate needed! Subjects wanted! No Stapler! Come to this rally for affirmative action! Come to this rally against affirmative action!
I see a computer lab attendee sitting there playing Doom when I’m in need of a stapler, I’m gonna wander over and ask him about a stapler and I doubt I’m going to be searching the walls for stapler information on the way over. Of course, when he jumps up, tackles me, and starts stomping on my neck while pointing to the “NO STAPLER” signs he’s posted everywhere the day before, I might have regrets. But I’m just telling ya how it’ll go.
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### Author:  [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2001, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-in-the-fuck-is-the-stapler/67522/10 "2001-06-04T20:47:34Z")
I have the stapler right here, **kremit**. Guess it just slipped my mind to return it.
My bad.
Sua
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### Author:  [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-in-the-fuck-is-the-stapler/67522/11 "2001-06-05T07:53:40Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \*
> \*\*Stripping clothes off, looking around…noticing everyone else is still clothed…slinking out of thread.
> \*\*
Well, I guess we know where the stapler **ISN’T**. 😛
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### Author:  [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-in-the-fuck-is-the-stapler/67522/12 "2001-06-05T09:32:14Z")
An interesting little stapler-related hijack for ya…
Apparently staples are the most abundant man-made objects on Earth. Every year several _trillion_ get produced.
Frightening stuff, eh?
pan
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### Author:  [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-in-the-fuck-is-the-stapler/67522/13 "2001-06-05T10:44:02Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by CrankyAsAnOldMan \*
> \*\*Free Mumia Al Jabar! … Free Tibet! \*\*
Man, you guys have it easy – I had to **pay** for mine.
Although when I was in college, I did get this nice free Nelson Mandela…
😛
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### Author:  [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-in-the-fuck-is-the-stapler/67522/14 "2001-06-05T17:38:43Z")
I feel your pain. Really.
On the bright side I am the guy who has made our office an example of efficiency. “A stapler on every desk” has been my campaign because it pisses me off when people take stuff from my desk and fail to return it. Like my stapler.
Another thing that drives me nuts is the people who show up at meetings and immediately ask “Do you have a pen?”
It’s a meeting, we usually take notes. For that you need to bring a pen. How can this be so hard to understand?
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2001, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-in-the-fuck-is-the-stapler/67522/15 "2001-06-06T15:31:30Z")
Stapler - labelled “Tracey’s Office”
Big stapler - labelled “Tracey’s Office”
Tape dispenser - labelled “Tracey’s Office”
3-hole punch - labelled “Tracey’s Office”
2-hole punch - labelled “Tracey’s Office”
(And the funny thing is, my name isn’t even “Tracey”! Ha! :D) No, actually, it is, and I’m anal. But it’s my bum, and I’ll label anything I want. Thank you.
(Thank you, **Strainger**. I need an “Office Space” quote every day to deal with this job.)
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### Author:  [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)
#### Post date: [June 7, 2001, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-in-the-fuck-is-the-stapler/67522/16 "2001-06-07T12:38:20Z")
In college, I had an entire office supply store in my backpack. Including a stapler. Boy Scout training, you never know when you’ll need a stapler.
Time after time, people would ask to use my stapler (which I always watched like a very watchful thing, to make sure I got it back). Then they’d ask:
“Huh, why you carry stapler around?”
I started to carry a staple-remover to take my staple back if anyone asked that.
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### Author:  [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [June 15, 2001, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-in-the-fuck-is-the-stapler/67522/17 "2001-06-15T22:28:26Z")
> [@](#):
>
> **Sometimes I just want to yell…**
And here I thought you had a staple personality!
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### Author:  [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)
#### Post date: [June 15, 2001, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-in-the-fuck-is-the-stapler/67522/18 "2001-06-15T22:33:32Z")
Personally I just wish my co-workers would learn how to refill the damn stapler.
It’s not that fucking difficult. You don’t have to go off and find another stapler and leave the empty one on the table for someone else to fill.
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### Author:  [@Traveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Traveler)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2001, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-in-the-fuck-is-the-stapler/67522/19 "2001-06-18T23:17:46Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Feynn \*
> \*\*I feel your pain. Really.
>
> Another thing that drives me nuts is the people who show up at meetings and immediately ask “Do you have a pen?”
>
> It’s a meeting, we usually take notes. For that you need to bring a pen. How can this be so hard to understand? \*\*
This always used to happen to me in school and I was pissed off at the losers who always asked the teachers for a pen or pencil. Why don’t you get your own. I can see not having one because you lost one or forgot but every single day.
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### Author:  [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)
#### Post date: [June 19, 2001, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-in-the-fuck-is-the-stapler/67522/20 "2001-06-19T09:16:03Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Rue DeDay \*
> \*\*In college, I had an entire office supply store in my backpack. Including a stapler. Boy Scout training, you never know when you’ll need a stapler.
>
> Time after time, people would ask to use my stapler (which I always watched like a very watchful thing, to make sure I got it back). Then they’d ask:
>
> “Huh, why you carry stapler around?”
>
> I started to carry a staple-remover to take my staple back if anyone asked that. \*\*
I think I’m in love. Between that backpack and my purse, we could probably survive a nuclear war. Hell, I’ve still got TAMPONS in my purse, and I had a hysterectomy over a year ago.