# Where is Sqrl Going?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [February 5, 2000, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043 "2000-02-05T15:15:00Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2000, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/1 "2000-02-05T15:15:00Z")
I think we’ve all enjoyed our resident “bear cub” sharing his openness about his lifestyle. I know I have, and learned a lot from him.
In that spirit, he’s announced (in the Snark and Rose thread) that he’ll be away for a week. What if, during that week, we conduct a classic MPSIMS contest to see who can come up with the most outrageous reason for his week away. Uncle Beer will, if he is willing, judge the results, but it’s not so much to win as to put together a little surprise for him.
Outrageous hypotheses on what Sqrl is up to are now solicited:
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### Author:  [@Surgoshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surgoshan)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2000, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/2 "2000-02-05T15:18:00Z")
He’s fallen in love with a beautiful poor girl and they’re going to Las Vegas to elope and look at showgirls!
* * *
I sold my soul to Satan for a dollar. I got it in the mail.
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### Author:  [@special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/special)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2000, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/3 "2000-02-05T15:21:00Z")
he’s going to phoenix to participate in the local renassaince festival.
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### Author:  [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2000, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/4 "2000-02-05T15:32:00Z")
Screw the acoustics! He’s gone shopping for a distortion booster and a wah-wah pedal.
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### Author:  [@Andy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2000, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/5 "2000-02-05T16:32:00Z")
Obviously, he’s gone to London to see… 🙂
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### Author:  [@Shadowfox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadowfox)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2000, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/6 "2000-02-05T16:39:00Z")
## He left for a weeklong tour of the states, determined to have his name and phone number written on every rest stop bathroom wall in the country…
Shadowfox
_“Distinguished” Sexy assistant to Head Honcho,
Self-Righteous Clique_
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### Author:  [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2000, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/7 "2000-02-05T17:00:00Z")
He’s campaigning for Pat Buchanon.
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### Author:  [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2000, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/8 "2000-02-05T17:06:00Z")
He’s engaged to Heatherlee.
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### Author:  [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2000, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/9 "2000-02-05T17:14:00Z")
He’s at a Felchers’ Anonymous rehab clinic in Alabama.
-Melin
* * *
Siamese attack puppet – California
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### Author:  [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2000, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/10 "2000-02-05T20:16:00Z")
He’s passing out colour coded straws from state to state.
* * *
We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another
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### Author:  [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2000, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/11 "2000-02-05T20:38:00Z")
He’s got a gig in the lounge of the Amish casino “Seven is Heaven.”
* * *
I don’t have to do drugs to mess up my head. I went to Catholic school.
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### Author:  [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2000, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/12 "2000-02-05T21:28:00Z")
He’s gonna strap a rocket to his Festiva and jump across Snake Canyon.
* * *
You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing.
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### Author:  [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2000, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/13 "2000-02-05T21:36:00Z")
He’s going to Salt Lake City to smack Snark around and make him get back with the program!
* * *
Yer pal,
Satan
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### Author:  [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2000, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/14 "2000-02-05T21:47:00Z")
He’s going to Scottsdale, Arizona for Asnercon 2000. Thousands of Ed Asner fans from all over the world get together to share their appreciation of their favorite gruff-but-big-hearted TV editor. (Their favorite gruff-but-big-hearted _real_ editor is of course Ed Zotti. I wonder if there’s something about the name “Ed”.)
The convention features key grips (heh) and gaffers who have worked with Asner during his long career, role-playing games designed to make Edders (they _hate_ being called “eddies”) feel like part of the Mary Tyler Moore team (“Can You Be Murray?” is always a big hit), collectible auctions, and more. Also, there’s a rumor going around that for the 2000 convention, which is also the 20th annual, _Asner himself_ will make an appearance, at least on videotape. It promises to be the best Asnercon ever!
* * *
Livin’ on Tums, vitamin E and Rogaine
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### Author:  [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2000, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/15 "2000-02-05T22:09:00Z")
He’s moved to Florida. He’s the new zoning commissioner for Anita Bryant’s neighborhood.
* * *
Changing my sig, because Wally said to, and I really like Wally, and I’ll do anything he says, anytime he says to.
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### Author:  [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2000, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/16 "2000-02-05T22:27:00Z")
## He’s going to replace Whoopie Goldberg as center square. (on Hollywood Squares)
Love is like popsicles…you get too much you get too high.
Not enough and you’re gonna die…
[Click here for some GOOD news for a change](http://www.binghamtonpress.com/binghamtonnews/local/Sanews5.html)[Zettecity](http://www.angelfire.com/ny3/zettecity/index.html)
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### Author:  [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)
#### Post date: [February 5, 2000, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/17 "2000-02-05T22:32:00Z")
He is coming to California so I can show him the real meaning of The Color Purple 😉
* * *
I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature!
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### Author:  [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2000, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/18 "2000-02-06T01:48:00Z")
He’s up in midtown Manhattan, in charge of “auditioning” next December’s Santa Clauses for the ChristmasLand at Macy’s Department Store.
I can hear the squeak of the casting couch all the way out here in Brooklyn.
* * *
Uke
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### Author:  [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2000, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/19 "2000-02-06T01:50:00Z")
He’s going to marry **Phaedrus**.
* * *
\>\< DARWIN \>
\_\_ **L\_\_\_L**
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### Author:  [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2000, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/20 "2000-02-06T02:22:00Z")
He’s heading east to ink the full back tattoo of a smiley on ChiefScott.
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