# Where is Sqrl Going?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [February 5, 2000, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043 "2000-02-05T15:15:00Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [February 6, 2000, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/21 "2000-02-06T05:01:00Z")
He’s on tour with Jerry Falwell doing a series of tent revivals. The used tents are then donated to the Boy Scouts.
* * *
Sue from El Paso
Siamese Attack Puppet - Texas
Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.
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### Author:  [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)
#### Post date: [February 7, 2000, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/22 "2000-02-07T17:51:00Z")
Well, I just found this thread, so the nominations are still open. There’s a couple o’ good 'uns in here. Keep 'em coming.
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### Author:  [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2000, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/23 "2000-02-08T06:20:00Z")
This is the time of **Sqrl** ’s annual religious sabbatical. He uses the time to pray, fast, meditate and get laid by as many clergymen as he can.
* * *
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
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### Author:  [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2000, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/24 "2000-02-08T06:27:00Z")
He’s been hired as a consultant by Disney Corp. to help plan [The Gay Days at Disney](http://www.gaycruisevacations.com/gaydays2000.html). Their tentative motto: “The gayest place on Earth.”
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### Author:  [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2000, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/25 "2000-02-08T06:42:00Z")
He’s on a nationwide speaking tour where he will address seminars at chapters of Future Felchers of America.
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### Author:  [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2000, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/26 "2000-02-08T06:43:00Z")
He’s out in North Carolina, having a new guitar custom-made by the hillbillies who handcrafted all of Bill Monroe’s mandolins.
He has to stay a week because they need to hold his hand up to the fretboard to whittle it to size, as they don’t have any rulers back up thar in the hill country.
– Uke, who respects Sqrl for his musical knowledge, not just his sexual preference
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### Author:  [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2000, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/27 "2000-02-08T06:43:00Z")
Failing that, he’s checking out all forested areas of America to assure the stability of the bear population.
[http://flowerkitty.tripod.com/smile/bear.gif](http://flowerkitty.tripod.com/smile/bear.gif)
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### Author:  [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2000, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/28 "2000-02-08T06:44:00Z")
Nothing to worry about. We’re just adjusting his meds.
* * *
The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. – E. Grebenik
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### Author:  [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2000, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/29 "2000-02-08T06:45:00Z")
Sue said:
> [@](#):
>
> The used tents are then donated to the Boy Scouts.
Thus minimizing the need for government grants? 😉
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### Author:  [@missdavis102](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missdavis102)
#### Post date: [February 7, 2000, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/30 "2000-02-07T20:20:00Z")
Not a lot of people know this yet, but it has always been Sqrl’s dream to form a ‘not-for-profit’ pro-felching PAC. He’s working now to gather funding and support on Capital Hill for the afore-mentioned rehab center in Alabama, as well as some special programs for Boy Scouts and other such civic-minded organizations. It isn’t surprising a large number of Rodent’s Rights Advocates (motto: Gerbils Have Feelings Too) are supporting his efforts, as are Pat Buchannon, Jesse Ventura, Ross Perot, and the rest of the Independant Felchers Party. I’d like to report that the Scientologists are involved but that hasn’t been confirmed as of press time.
Once complete funding is secured, Sqrl will lead his devout and zealous followers on a whirlwind tour of our fine National Park System.
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### Author:  [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)
#### Post date: [February 7, 2000, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/31 "2000-02-07T20:35:00Z")
I think we’ll call an end to this at midnight Chicago Reader time on Thursday, Feb 10. On Friday, I’ll write up his travel diary using everything that gets posted. If I get really inventive, I’ll even dig up links to some bizarre photos for documentary evidence. I can’t, with good conscience, discard all of this good work.
How’s that sound?
And Poly, is it my imagination or are you becoming more and more mundane? Welcome to the dark and pointless side, my friend.
* * *
“A bird in the hand is the Devil’s workshop; it is the goose that laid the bad apple.” - TennHippie
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### Author:  [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)
#### Post date: [February 7, 2000, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/32 "2000-02-07T21:53:00Z")
I like it, **Uncle** , I like it. May I help you by finding a picture for my contribution?
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### Author:  [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2000, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/33 "2000-02-08T00:10:00Z")
I’ve always been pretty mundane and pointless, Unc; it’s just showing up more! 🙂
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### Author:  [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2000, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/34 "2000-02-08T00:47:00Z")
remind me not to go anywhere for a week & let you people know.
* * *
“I have gathered a posie of other men’s flowers, and nothing but the
thread that binds them is mine own.”
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### Author:  [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2000, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/35 "2000-02-08T01:41:00Z")
Did anyone see what I saw? Handy has 3000+ posts?!?!?! :eek:
I guess his keyboard skills must have been what prompted him to choose his screen name.
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### Author:  [@APB9999](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/APB9999)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2000, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/36 "2000-02-08T02:07:00Z")
As his name implies, he’s taken time out to prepare for next winter by burying acorns around his backyard. It’s so cute, the way he holds them between his little paws and gnaws at them.
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### Author:  [@Angkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angkins)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2000, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/37 "2000-02-08T03:52:00Z")
I believe he has gone on a nut gathering sabatical… or he’s sitting back seeing what will be said about him in his abscence!
What kind of nuts does a Sqlcub gather if a Sqlcub could gather nuts…
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### Author:  [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2000, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/38 "2000-02-08T05:36:00Z")
UncleBeer, if you’re going to be posting _illustrations_ for some of these suggestions there’s going to be a thread called “Where is Little Nemo and what’s that retching sound?”
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### Author:  [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2000, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/39 "2000-02-08T14:15:00Z")
Naw, you have noting to worry about, Nemo. I’m not going to link to anything that would violate the board rules on posting porn of any kind. I’m thinking more along the lines of corny photos from the cities mentioned in here. Tacky, yet refined.
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### Author:  [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)
#### Post date: [February 8, 2000, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-sqrl-going/14043/40 "2000-02-08T14:17:00Z")
Like this link to the [Scottsdale Mud Mania](http://www.ci.scottsdale.az.us/mightymudmania/)
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