# Where is the outrage over mom 24/7 sex slave **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 22, 2008, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-the-outrage-over-mom-24-7-sex-slave/442360 "2008-03-22T19:05:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 28
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2008, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-the-outrage-over-mom-24-7-sex-slave/442360/541 "2008-03-24T21:13:27Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > everyone falls all over themselves to show how tolerant they are…everyone who isn’t a parent, that is Clearly, you haven’t actually been reading this thread or **freekalette** ’s. Take some time to do so, and then report back to me. I can’t have a debate with someone who’s not informed, after all; it just wouldn’t be fair. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2008, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-the-outrage-over-mom-24-7-sex-slave/442360/542 "2008-03-24T21:15:43Z")
[QUOTE=Hostile Dialect] Clearly, you haven’t actually been reading this thread or **freekalette** ’s. Take some time to do so, and then report back to me. I can’t have a debate with someone who’s not informed, after all; it just wouldn’t be fair. [/QUOTE] I have read them. I asked several times if there were any parents in these threads who thought this shit was appropriate to expose to the children. One person said she grew up in a patriarchal household. She didn’t say whether her mother had to wear dog collars and kneel like a dog in front of her husband. ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2008, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-the-outrage-over-mom-24-7-sex-slave/442360/543 "2008-03-24T21:16:41Z")
[QUOTE=fisha] Straight female. Let me go find my riding crop and dressage boots. Oh, and Pop Rocks, let’s not forget the Pop Rocks. [/QUOTE] You know, I was reading this thread with a sort of bemused detachment (and watching the skies for signs of the apocalypse because Shodan and Diogenes were agreeing with each other) when I came upon this post. Damn you! Now I want to know what Pop Rocks feel like if you put them on the skin and get them wet. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2008, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-the-outrage-over-mom-24-7-sex-slave/442360/544 "2008-03-24T21:18:32Z")
That’s just _sick_. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2008, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-the-outrage-over-mom-24-7-sex-slave/442360/545 "2008-03-24T21:22:26Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] Some of us have a little more persective and experience, mkay. [/QUOTE] Or bigger sticks up your asses… ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2008, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-the-outrage-over-mom-24-7-sex-slave/442360/546 "2008-03-24T21:27:47Z")
[QUOTE=Hostile Dialect] When did I say that? I’m talking about **freekalette** ’s marriage. [/QUOTE] OK, so what is your basis for the broad statement that this sort of communication and consent is not the norm for religious situations. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2008, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-the-outrage-over-mom-24-7-sex-slave/442360/547 "2008-03-24T21:29:10Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] Hey, **freekaletta** is the one who said (or strongly implied) that her husband has non-consensual sex with her (that it’s “tough” if she isn’t in the mood, that he wakes her up and “ignores” her when she says no). If she doesn’t want people to think she’s being raped, then she needs to be a little less fucking cute with the language that she uses. As for abuse, I think they are at least showing the children an _appearance_ of abuse, and the way it looks to the children is all that matters. [/QUOTE] Did you READ her later description? It’s more like he starts getting all seductive when she’s falling asleep and tries to GET her in the mood. IF she doesn’t want to, if she says no, he backs off. You know, at least twice, my grandmother got so pissed off at my grandfather, that she threw a plate at his head. A big, heavy glass plate. (Missed both times). Would you say that my Pappap was an abused spouse? ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2008, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-the-outrage-over-mom-24-7-sex-slave/442360/548 "2008-03-24T21:32:59Z")
[QUOTE=Guinastasia] Did you READ her later description? It’s more like he starts getting all seductive when she’s falling asleep and tries to GET her in the mood. IF she doesn’t want to, if she says no, he backs off. [/QUOTE] No, **Guin** , she didn’t. She said that if she’s been asleep for 3 hours, and he tries to wake her up and she says no, she’s sleeping, he will take her clothes off and have sex with her anyway. She said nothing about “trying to get her in the mood.” ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2008, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-the-outrage-over-mom-24-7-sex-slave/442360/549 "2008-03-24T21:33:54Z")
[QUOTE=Guinastasia] Did you READ her later description? It’s more like he starts getting all seductive when she’s falling asleep and tries to GET her in the mood. IF she doesn’t want to, if she says no, he backs off. [/QUOTE] are you saying she never posted that he ‘ignored’ her when she said ‘no’? ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2008, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-the-outrage-over-mom-24-7-sex-slave/442360/550 "2008-03-24T21:34:33Z")
[QUOTE=Dangerosa] OK, so what is your basis for the broad statement that this sort of communication and consent is not the norm for religious situations. [/QUOTE] I would guess his basis is ignorance and bigotry. ---
**Author:** ![Ritter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ritter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ritter)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2008, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-the-outrage-over-mom-24-7-sex-slave/442360/551 "2008-03-24T21:38:41Z")
This is one of the most fascinating threads I’ve ever read and reading all the posts I have found my mind stretched in all different directions before settling on my own, ahhh, ‘position’. I think **Freekalette’s** kids are going to be fine as long as they are being raised as smart, well-read, independent thinkers. She seems articulate and thoughtful, and while I don’t think her relationship is one ideally modelled in front of children, she says it is toned down in front of them which indicates she understands the dynamic isn’t necessarily for public consumption. I really hope that she learns other ways to manage her anxiety that aren’t related to being dominated though, as it could leave her (and the kids) open to being in a really dysfunctional place, for example if her partner left her or had an episode of mental illness and took the domination too far. I also wonder whether her need for this behaviour would change if she did get help for the anxiety through more conventional methods, e.g. cognitive behavioural therapy. I think the most important thing is that the kids know they are loved unconditionally and will be supported by their parents in making their own decisions and thinking for themselves as well as being considerate to others. Frankly, my main worry is that the children will learn bad manners from their parents’ interactions and will treat others unkindly without realising that it hurts feelings. But if **Freekalette** is on to it, she’ll have that covered. My favourite posts (and not for the first time) were from **HazelNutCoffee** ,\*\* Sarahfeena\*\* and **Ntzinga, Seated**. ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2008, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-the-outrage-over-mom-24-7-sex-slave/442360/552 "2008-03-24T21:41:53Z")
[QUOTE=Shodan] That’s just _sick_. Regards, Shodan [/QUOTE] Actually, I suspect the answer is _sticky_, not sick. Unless you were talking about the you and Diogenes agreeing thing. 😉😛 ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2008, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-the-outrage-over-mom-24-7-sex-slave/442360/553 "2008-03-24T21:48:01Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] There’s a difference between sexual orientation and gender identity and the voluntary acting out of kinks in front of children. [/QUOTE] Tabling for the moment whether kinks are acted out in front of the children, I don’t see what difference there is. Gays and gender crossers say they’re born that way, but there’s no hard evidence either way, no matter how often they say there is. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2008, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-the-outrage-over-mom-24-7-sex-slave/442360/554 "2008-03-24T21:51:16Z")
[QUOTE=Sarahfeena] No, **Guin** , she didn’t. She said that if she’s been asleep for 3 hours, and he tries to wake her up and she says no, she’s sleeping, he will take her clothes off and have sex with her anyway. She said nothing about “trying to get her in the mood.” [/QUOTE] The way I read it is that if she really says, “GO AWAY!” he’ll stop. At least, that was what I got out of it. Maybe I’m wrong? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2008, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-the-outrage-over-mom-24-7-sex-slave/442360/555 "2008-03-24T22:05:15Z")
[QUOTE=Guinastasia] Did you READ her later description? It’s more like he starts getting all seductive when she’s falling asleep and tries to GET her in the mood. IF she doesn’t want to, if she says no, he backs off. [/quote] She wrote that description AFTER I told her it sounded like she was describingh non-consenual sex. Her clarification wasn’t much better. She still said he “ignores” her when she tells him she wants to keep sleeping. > [@](#): > > You know, at least twice, my grandmother got so pissed off at my grandfather, that she threw a plate at his head. A big, heavy glass plate. (Missed both times). Would you say that my Pappap was an abused spouse? Possibly. You would certainly say a woman was being abused if her husband threw heavy objects at her head. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2008, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-the-outrage-over-mom-24-7-sex-slave/442360/556 "2008-03-24T22:08:39Z")
[QUOTE=Evil Captor] Tabling for the moment whether kinks are acted out in front of the children, I don’t see what difference there is. Gays and gender crossers say they’re born that way, but there’s no hard evidence either way, no matter how often they say there is. [/QUOTE] Whether they’re born that way or not, it’s still not chosen, it’s not primarily sexual and it does not neccesarily involve the domination of one partner by another. Simply being gay is not the same as actually acting out sex games in front of children. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2008, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-the-outrage-over-mom-24-7-sex-slave/442360/557 "2008-03-24T22:32:22Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] She wrote that description AFTER I told her it sounded like she was describingh non-consenual sex. Her clarification wasn’t much better. She still said he “ignores” her when she tells him she wants to keep sleeping. [/quote] _sigh_ I suppose so. I guess it doesn’t seem as severe as I thought it was. It’s still messed up, though. (Although I stand by what I said about the spiked collar) > [@](#): > > Possibly. You would certainly say a woman was being abused if her husband threw heavy objects at her head. Not if it was my pap throwing things at my grandmother. If only because I knew _them_, I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2008, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-the-outrage-over-mom-24-7-sex-slave/442360/558 "2008-03-24T22:51:44Z")
Though it fills me with regret to leave various challenges and insults unanswered in this thread, it has come to my attention recently that my, well, hostility toward less tolerant viewpoints is endangering the LGBT rights movement and related battles for acceptance of various types of gender expression and sexuality on this here Board. As a result, I am imposing a ban upon my own presence in all non-normative-sexuality- and alternate-gender-expression-themed threads for an indeterminate period of time while I contemplate how to avoid harming the movement with my impassioned and sarcastic defense. For the purposes of this thread, that means I’m unsubscribing from it, probably for good. Stay safe in here. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2008, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-the-outrage-over-mom-24-7-sex-slave/442360/559 "2008-03-24T23:39:50Z")
Dio, this may be an age-gap issue. I dunno about you, but to me a spiked dog collar is a perfectly legitimate clothing accessory. Of course, I was a plaid-pants sort of punk, rather than a leather sort, but hell, it just means that the wearer is feeling a little rocking to me. It’s way less outre than, say, ear hole plug things, or those chains that go from the nose to the ear. (Those bother me. I’m used to potential violence while rocking out. They’re like an invitation to torn flesh.) Also, pop rocks on skin, meh. Pop rocks in chocolate bars? That’s the stuff! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2008, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-the-outrage-over-mom-24-7-sex-slave/442360/560 "2008-03-25T00:05:38Z")
[QUOTE=E-Sabbath] It’s way less outre than, say, ear hole plug things [/quote] Gaged ears. Hell, my supervisor has his ears gaged. Along with facial piercings. And he’s in a death metal band. > [@](#): > > or those chains that go from the nose to the ear. (Those bother me. I’m used to potential violence while rocking out. They’re like an invitation to torn flesh.) I haven’t seen those in years. And that was in a hair metal video. Other than that, you’ve got a point- **Dio** , I see spiked collars god knows how many times a day. Maybe she bought a dog collar because it was cheaper? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-the-outrage-over-mom-24-7-sex-slave/442360.md?page=27) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-is-the-outrage-over-mom-24-7-sex-slave/442360.md?page=29)