# “Where’s my fucking dinner bitch?” **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 6, 2004, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-s-my-fucking-dinner-bitch/243777 "2004-05-06T03:48:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-s-my-fucking-dinner-bitch/243777/21 "2004-05-06T17:22:55Z")
I suggest the following conversation: “Mrs. Neighbor, you know that my husband and I are newlyweds, and right now we need a lot of, uh, (blush prettily) private time. So if we don’t always answer the door when you knock, I hope you’ll understand.” This may make her a bit more hesitant to come knocking on your door, and it certainly means that you never have to answer the door again. ---
**Author:** ![Tiggrkitty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggrkitty/32/17966_2.png) [@Tiggrkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiggrkitty)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-s-my-fucking-dinner-bitch/243777/22 "2004-05-06T18:03:26Z")
> [@Abbie Carmichael](#): > > Say it with me: > > “Just because somebody is knocking on the door doesn’t mean I have to answer it.” > > Rinse. Repeat. I am a firm believer of this as well. If you have not called in advance and just show up, I don’t have to answer the door. I usually look out the peep hole and determine whether or not I want to answer the door. I have a neighbor that will actually open my storm door to check to see if we locked the door or not. Which totally freaks me out. I mean what if I didn’t lock the door and was taking a shower, this person will just walk in my house unannounced? Good way to get shot at around here. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-s-my-fucking-dinner-bitch/243777/23 "2004-05-06T18:36:03Z")
Do you answer the phone every time it rings? Many people do not. Many people also do not answer the door every time somebody knocks. Related thread: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=4832345#post4832345](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=4832345#post4832345) ---
**Author:** ![Starguard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Starguard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starguard)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-s-my-fucking-dinner-bitch/243777/24 "2004-05-06T18:44:58Z")
Well, you can always buy an attack dog 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-s-my-fucking-dinner-bitch/243777/25 "2004-05-06T18:54:57Z")
> [@Starguard](#): > > Well, you can always buy an attack dog Or at least a tape recording thereof. Or how about a sign for the door that says “WARNING—PLAGUE—QUARANTINE” ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-s-my-fucking-dinner-bitch/243777/26 "2004-05-06T19:19:14Z")
I have people ringing my front doorbell occasionally, which is weird—the only people I know live in the same _house_. So I just put on my “Bette Davis in _Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte_” outfit, grab my shotgun, lean out the window, and shout, “_Git off mah propitty—DAYUM YEW!!_” ---
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-s-my-fucking-dinner-bitch/243777/27 "2004-05-06T20:08:19Z")
If she’s absolutely annoying and you do not want to talk to her… Don’t. Tell her “Sorry, but you stop in to my home at odd hours unannounced, sometimes with people I don’t know, and either talk to me nonstop or ask me inappropriate questions at inappropriate times. I do not want to talk to you. Goodbye.” Sounds harsh, but if you’re going to be living in your building for a long time you’ll either have to deal with her daily or not. If this was someone you delt with only through work or the annoying jerk that is always at the gym then it wouldn’t be appropriate, but this is the place you live. It’s your home, you don’t have to deal with her if you don’t want to. Its either that, or your time, mood, and home will be hers whenever she wants to talk to you and knows that your home. Yes, there will be an uncomfortable moment if you see this lady, but she’ll live, you don’t live right next door, she’ll find someone else to bother. You’re not the only person that lives in the building, though I’m thinking you’re the only one that stands her if she’s always at your place. I’ve had to do this once to someone I had to deal with on a daily basis. Simple hints didn’t work. A nice request didn’t work. **Most** people are rational and will understand a simple “Excuse me, I’m busy, I’ll contact you when I have time.” Your neighbor obviously doesn’t get the hint. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-s-my-fucking-dinner-bitch/243777/28 "2004-05-06T21:36:16Z")
You could always strip, slather yourself in blood from the joint you’re cooking, grab a big knife, open the door, and say “Ah, so this is the virgin sacrifice?” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-s-my-fucking-dinner-bitch/243777/29 "2004-05-06T22:00:21Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > So I just put on my “Bette Davis in _Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte_” outfit, grab my shotgun, lean out the window, and shout, “_Git off mah propitty—DAYUM YEW!!_” Oh my god! I had no idea the Fuzzy Lumpkins character was patterned after Bette Davis! FB ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2004, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-s-my-fucking-dinner-bitch/243777/30 "2004-05-06T22:26:39Z")
My neighbors are a bunch of shady ass homies who are doing things I don’t even want to think about. Wanna trade? ---
**Author:** ![county](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@county](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/county)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2004, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-s-my-fucking-dinner-bitch/243777/31 "2004-05-07T02:29:53Z")
"shady ass homies " 😃😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-s-my-fucking-dinner-bitch/243777/32 "2004-05-08T01:11:30Z")
My 91 year old mother lives in assisted care and all too often the people who work there either don’t knock or just barely tap and then walk in without waiting for a response. She doesn’t appreciate this intrusion and her 87 year old boyfriend doesn’t either. I bought her a pretty little “Do Not Disturb” sign that hangs on her doorknob. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-s-my-fucking-dinner-bitch/243777/33 "2004-05-08T01:32:59Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > My 91 year old mother lives in assisted care and all too often the people who work there either don’t knock or just barely tap and then walk in without waiting for a response. She doesn’t appreciate this intrusion and her 87 year old boyfriend doesn’t either. I bought her a pretty little “Do Not Disturb” sign that hangs on her doorknob. “Do Not Disturb Unless You Really Want To See A 91-year-old And An 87-year-old Naked On The Bed Getting Super-Freaky” would possibly be even more effective! ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-s-my-fucking-dinner-bitch/243777/34 "2004-05-08T01:55:15Z")
> [@Snooooopy](#): > > “Do Not Disturb Unless You Really Want To See A 91-year-old And An 87-year-old Naked On The Bed Getting Super-Freaky” would possibly be even more effective! Gah! My eyes! The goggles, they do NOTHING! ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-s-my-fucking-dinner-bitch/243777/35 "2004-05-08T02:30:57Z")
> [@Mighty\_Girl](#): > > And while at it, whether or not I look like I…am trying to blow the whole damned building What building do you live in? I just want to stop by and…tell your neighbor off :D. ---
**Author:** ![ageless6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@ageless6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ageless6)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-s-my-fucking-dinner-bitch/243777/36 "2004-05-08T02:59:52Z")
Well,in my estimation a large part of this situation is the OP’s own fault. In her first post she says she is peeved at people who bother her while she is,in her own words,“trying to blow the whole damned building.” That in itself is a bit overly friendly,don’t you think? No wonder,then,that there is always some person trying to gain entrance,with their phony “Oh,I just wanted to see your drapes” lines,and other excuses. Yeah,right;they just wanted to see if the drapes matched the carpet. The only thing to do is move,I think. Your reputation is certainly blown,there. (Huh,what pun?) ---
**Author:** ![SpectBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@SpectBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpectBrain)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-s-my-fucking-dinner-bitch/243777/37 "2004-05-08T03:06:52Z")
Why don’t you ask your other neighbors, who have been there awhile, how they deal (or dealt) with her? ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-s-my-fucking-dinner-bitch/243777/38 "2004-05-08T17:54:21Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > What building do you live in? I just want to stop by and…tell your neighbor off :D. :smack: Blow **UP**. That will learn me to preview! ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-s-my-fucking-dinner-bitch/243777/39 "2004-05-08T19:18:50Z")
> [@Mighty\_Girl](#): > > :smack: Blow **UP**. > > That will learn me to preview! “_Learn_ me to preview?” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-s-my-fucking-dinner-bitch/243777/40 "2004-05-08T20:32:25Z")
There goes my attempt at linguistic humor. ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-s-my-fucking-dinner-bitch/243777.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-s-my-fucking-dinner-bitch/243777.md?page=3)