# Where the protagonist's love interest's boyfriend isn't a complete douche **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 1, 2010, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828 "2010-03-01T04:47:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/41 "2010-03-01T22:17:16Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > “Play It Again, Sam”. Woody Allen falls in love with Diane Keaton, who is married to his good friend Tony Roberts. She dithers. In fact, the ending is a parody of Casablanca, as I recall. Much as he wants her, he doesn’t want to break up his friends’ marriage. I don’t know what’s going on in my brain, but I saw “Sam”, “Woody”, and “Diane”, and had to read it three times before I realized it had nothing at all to do with “Cheers”. “When did Diane marry Sam’s good friend? And Woody never fell in love with her…” ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/42 "2010-03-01T22:53:08Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > In **Dan in Real Life** , Steve Carell’s character falls in love with his brother’s girlfriend. Dane Cook, who plays the brother, surprisingly isn’t really a douche in this movie. He is mostly just portrayed as being more of an athletic “guy’s guy” and not as intellectual or artistic as the rest of the family. Dane Cook’s character is somewhat of a douche in the movie—It’s not over the top, but he treats his new girlfriend like someone who just dosent really matter that much to him. For one example, he calls her Annie, even though she tells him clearly that she prefers her given name Marie, he also uses several “lines” that his brother wrote, (as part of a novel) and makes Marie think they are his original thoughts and feelings. Not totally a douche-bag, but +80% in my opinion. And finally, I am now obligated to state that Juliette Binoche (Marie in the movie) is simply STUNNING. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/43 "2010-03-01T23:05:09Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > Maybe I am not remembering correctly, but in _Reality Bites_ doesn’t Winona Ryder end up with Ethan Hawke, Ben Stiller isn’t a complete douche. IN fact through most of the movie Hawke comes off as the asshole. No, you’ve got it right. Winona Ryder’s character had had (I think) a crush on Ethan Hawke’s character for a long time. But he was a jerk. But then, Ben Stillers’ character sold out Winona Ryder’s art, after promising it wasn’t going to be like that. Stillers was the nicer guy, but that level of betrayal was too much. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/44 "2010-03-01T23:07:37Z")
I don’t seem to remember that Cary Elwes in _Liar Liar_ did anything particularly wrong, while Jim Carrey was (surprise!) a complete jerk. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/45 "2010-03-02T01:23:01Z")
Yes, I was thinking of _Liar Liar_ too. Similarly, the husband of the Keira Knightley character in _Love Actually_ seems a like a nice guy. The guy who’s yearning for Keira is his best friend and doesn’t want to mess up their marriage, but at Christmas memorably confesses his love for her, and at least gets a kiss out of it. The jilted boyfriend in _Four Weddings and A Funeral_ wasn’t a bad guy, was he? It’s been a long time since I saw it. On TV, there’s _Frasier_, in which Daphne dumps her hard-driving but basically nice-guy lawyer fiancee Donny for the long-pining Niles. It’s not all sweetness and light after that, either - a vengeful Donny sues everyone, and later marries a woman whom he confesses he doesn’t love nearly as much as Daphne. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/46 "2010-03-02T01:29:34Z")
> [@](#): > > Ducky in Pretty in Pink is actually a lot nicer than the feeble Blaine. This was parodied in _Not Another Teen Movie_ when the reformed jock character and the best friend character argued about which of them had a better chance at winning the girl based on teen movie cliches. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/47 "2010-03-02T01:37:32Z")
> [@](#): > > I came in to mention Sleepless in Seattle, but since it’s been taken, how about a gender-flipped example in The Wedding Planner? (Oh, haven’t seen it? Really? Shyeah right.) Jennifer Lopez falls in love with Matthew McConaghey while planning his wedding to Bridgitte Nielsen. But Nielsen isn’t a bridezilla or a castrating bitch, even though she does let the stress get to her sometimes. She’s actually really nice and on the ball, and when she realizes what’s developing between her fiance and Lopez, she steps aside. This is also pretty much what happened in _Fools Rush In_. Matthew Perry’s character had broken up with Salma Hayek’s character and was dating Suzanne Snyder’s character. Snyder wasn’t portrayed as a villainess or anything and she stepped aside once Perry realized he still loved Hayek. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/48 "2010-03-02T04:20:02Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Dane Cook, who plays the brother, surprisingly isn’t really a douche in this movie. So, you’re saying that Dane Cook can act? Who knew? ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/49 "2010-03-02T16:25:10Z")
> [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](#): > > Dane Cook’s character is somewhat of a douche in the movie—It’s not over the top, but he treats his new girlfriend like someone who just dosent really matter that much to him. I guess I’m comparing him to his character in \*\*My Best Friend’s Girl \*\* where he is a douche for hire who ends up competing with his friend, nice guy Jason Biggs for the affections of Kate Hudson. ---
**Author:** ![McGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f4b2a3/32.png) [@McGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/McGeek)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/50 "2010-03-02T17:44:44Z")
> [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](#): > > Dane Cook’s character is somewhat of a douche in the movie—It’s not over the top, but he treats his new girlfriend like someone who just dosent really matter that much to him. > > For one example, he calls her Annie, even though she tells him clearly that she prefers her given name Marie, he also uses several “lines” that his brother wrote, (as part of a novel) and makes Marie think they are his original thoughts and feelings. > > Not totally a douche-bag, but +80% in my opinion. > > And finally, I am now obligated to state that Juliette Binoche (Marie in the movie) is simply STUNNING. Having watched this dozens of times, I gotta disagree with your assessment of Dane Cook’s character. He’s just like Joey Tribiani on “Friends” - not deep, but doesn’t have a mean-hearted bone in him. Her full name is Anne-Marie, and since their circle of friends includes several people with names similar to Marie, he nicknamed her Annie when he met her - what is douche-y about that? With many couples, that would be considered romantic that he has a special pet-name that only he calls her. I don’t know where you get that “he treats his new girlfriend like someone who just doesn’t really matter that much to him”. He’s obviously head-over-heels for her, even though she is wrong for him. Meanwhile, she is less sure, and considers him a transition relationship (per her conversation w/ Dan during the hide&seek game). Cook drags her to meet his family, can’t wait to hear how much they like her, and the 1st evening, corners Dan while doing the dishes to gush about how he thinks he is in love. And he is so nervous to sing for her that he begs Dan to back him up on guitar. When she drives off the next morning, he is clearly very upset, even though, like Joey Tribiani, he’s the kind of guy who will bounce back and fall in love again soon. As to his stealing lines from Dan’s book to use on women, it’s not meant to be sleazy. He just genuinely IDOLIZES Dan. Remember, he is the one who pushes Marie to read Dan’s book - he wasn’t trying to hide anything. I know Dane Cook has loads of detractors, but he was actually perfect for this character. And Steve Carell was surprisingly great as a romantic lead. I have rarely rooted so hard for anyone in a rom-com. I do agree with you that the highest raves should go to Juliette Binoche - she was perfection. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/51 "2010-03-02T18:19:19Z")
_Sleepless in Seattle_ comes to mind, even though the men never meet. When Meg Ryan is done with her fiancee she just dumps him without remorse and he takes it, because he was the exactly mild mannered guy she wanted up until that moment. Sour, sour taste in my mouth after that movie. Is the point that you can crap on anyone you want as long as its True Luv ™? Oops, been done. Stilll, I felt the need to register my disapproval. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/52 "2010-03-02T18:24:04Z")
> [@McGeek](#): > > Her full name is Anne-Marie, and since their circle of friends includes several people with names similar to Marie, he nicknamed her Annie when he met her - what is douche-y about that? With many couples, that would be considered romantic that he has a special pet-name that only he calls her. I cant believe I am actually debating (in good humor hopefully :p) a DANE COOK movie role, but I remember that Binoche’s character said specifically, “I prefer to be called Marie” and Cook’s character insists on calling her Annie anyway… And Cooks character hooks up with the truly stunning Ruthie “pig-face” Draper (cant remember the actress but she is also a stunner) within hours after Marie dumps him, so that is where I got that Cook wasnt really too concerned with Juliette Binoche afterall. (as opposed to his brother Dan who is in love with her) After typing, I realise I have used both actors names and characters names willy nilly, so if I have hopelessly confused anyone I am sorry!!! (hopefully no one is paying ANY attention to my little digression here) Anyway Dane Cooks character seems somewhat of a selfish douche, though not over the top—I admit maybe my read is biased by my feelings about Dane Cook In Real Life… ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/53 "2010-03-02T19:13:07Z")
Cook is totally a douche in that movie, but its more of the ignorant douche. He’s charismatic and beloved by his family. He’s the youngest right? He’s supposed to be that “spark of life” youngest sibling who can do no wrong in the family’s eyes. EVERY girl he is with it starts out that way of head over heels. “I think I’m in love!” Isn’t there a scene at the dinner table where Carrell’s character mocks Cook for his string of failed romances? Carrell is the douche in that scene but he does that to point out that Cook is ALWAYS like this at the start and then gets bored. Cook immediately jumping to the back up girl at the end is the final delivery of the douche prize. ---
**Author:** ![KennerTheGreat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a8b319/32.png) [@KennerTheGreat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KennerTheGreat)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/54 "2010-03-02T21:06:22Z")
What about Greg Kinnear, Meg Ryan’s boyfriend in You’ve Got Mail? He seemed a reasonable enough guy, just was too different for her. OTOH, Parker Posey, Tom Hanks’ girlfriend, was a stuck-up bitch. ---
**Author:** ![Jim\_s\_Son](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19adc/32.png) [@Jim\_s\_Son](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jim_s_Son)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/55 "2010-03-02T21:38:02Z")
In the 1936 version “Charge of the Light Brigade” I don’t think Patric Knowles’s character is bad, even if he steals Olivia de Havilland away from his movie-brother Errol Flynn. Ultimately Flynn recognizes this and makes sure Knowles is not with the Light Brigade when Flynn forges orders so the Light Brigade can avenge the Chukoti massacre and kill the evil Surat Khan and his Russian Ally Count Volonoff. Who knows how many horses Michael Curtiz killed filming the charge sequence. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2010, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/56 "2010-03-02T22:09:34Z")
It’s not a movie (though I hope it will be someday, if they do it right) but \*Atlas Shrugged \*is a good example. Dagny Taggart starts out loving Francisco d’Anconia in her teens, then loves Hank Rearden for awhile until she meets John Galt, and realizes that Galt was the one she’d been looking for all along. Francisco and Hank (both good guys, though I’m not sure I’d call either of them “nice”) take this relatively well, agreeing that Galt and Dagny belong together. They all remain good friends. ---
**Author:** ![choie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/choie/32/7829_2.png) [@choie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/choie)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/57 "2010-03-03T03:57:00Z")
> [@KennerTheGreat](#): > > What about Greg Kinnear, Meg Ryan’s boyfriend in You’ve Got Mail? He seemed a reasonable enough guy, just was too different for her. > > OTOH, Parker Posey, Tom Hanks’ girlfriend, was a stuck-up bitch. I already mentioned him in [post #20](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12173503&postcount=20), so I agree with you. He was a bit full of his own moral rectitude but had a good heart. Plus, cute as hell. And yes, Posey was bitchy, though I wouldn’t say she’s stuck-up – just ridiculously aggressive and self-absorbed. Her role appears to be emphasizing the worst side of Tom Hanks’s personality traits, a fact he recognizes later in the film. What about Cecil (Daniel Day Lewis) in _A Room with a View_? Okay, I know we’re supposed to see him as an insufferable prig, but I find him oddly sympathetic, and always get pissed off with the callous way Lucy (Helena Bonham Carter) treats him. She’s certainly better off with Julian Sands’ George, but that doesn’t excuse her behavior to Cecil. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/58 "2010-03-03T04:04:42Z")
If I recall, Pierce Brosnan’s character in _Mrs. Doubtfire_ wasn’t a douche, though he was the current flame of Robin Williams’s ex. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/59 "2010-03-03T04:30:37Z")
> [@winterhawk11](#): > > Francisco and Hank (both good guys, though I’m not sure I’d call either of them “nice”) take this relatively well . . . Eh, they were just looking out for themselves. ---
**Author:** ![SecretaryofEvil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@SecretaryofEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecretaryofEvil)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/60 "2010-03-03T09:20:51Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > It’s not that well known, but prior to hitting big in “X-Men” Hugh Jackman made a romantic comedy in Australia called “Paperback Hero.” The love interest’s eventually-dumped boyfriend seemed to be a perfectly nice, straight up guy who genuinely likes her for who she is. Interestingly enough, X-men actually qualifies. Wolverine constantly pursues Jean Grey, even though Cyclops, her boyfriend, is a pretty decent guy. While many, including myself, find Cyclops an annoying character, he’s not really a bad boyfriend to Jean or anything, and he’s the leader of the freaking X-men which means he can’t be that big of a douche. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828.md?page=4)