# Where the protagonist's love interest's boyfriend isn't a complete douche **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 1, 2010, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828 "2010-03-01T04:47:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![EllisDee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellisdee/32/4531_2.png) [@EllisDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllisDee)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/61 "2010-03-03T13:54:28Z")
> [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](#): > > the truly stunning Ruthie “pig-face” Draper (cant remember the actress but she is also a stunner) Emily Blunt, currently playing the female lead in The Wolfman. ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/62 "2010-03-03T18:35:03Z")
> [@EllisDee](#): > > Emily Blunt, currently playing the female lead in The Wolfman. Thanks—that’s her… (Mighty easy on the eyes, eh?) ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/63 "2010-03-03T19:43:33Z")
Also in the non-movie category, in _Possession_ the initial couple in the modern-day part (and I’ve totally forgotten their names - maybe her name is Val?) are absolutely horrible for each other, and she at least seems like a complete bitch because of it, but both end up in relationships where they are (at least initially) a good deal happier and more fulfilled. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/64 "2010-03-03T19:52:52Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Ralph Bellamy in _His Girl Friday_. In fact, I think this type of character has been called a “Ralph Bellamy”. I could be wrong, but for some reason I was thinking that term came before His Girl Friday, in fact, I thought I read somewhere that the director for The Awful Truth (which IIRC was a damn similar movie) told him to act more like a “Ralph Bellamy” which he didn’t find all that funny since he didn’t like having that image. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/65 "2010-03-03T19:59:07Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > If I recall, Pierce Brosnan’s character in _Mrs. Doubtfire_ wasn’t a douche, though he was the current flame of Robin Williams’s ex. I never would have thought of that. I guess the only reason he comes off as a douche is because we really only see him though Robin’s eyes. If that movie were done through any one elses POV, he would have been a great guy and Robin would have been the creepy douchey ex-husband. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/66 "2010-03-03T20:01:53Z")
> [@montag01](#): > > I’ll second **Superman Returns.** I’ll third it. In fact, to the extent that I like SR, I’d say it’s because it at least honestly admits that, as a boyfriend, its title character stinks. ETA: Also, we should mention _My Best Friend’s Wedding_, which is even more honest in admitting that the main character is the villain. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/67 "2010-03-03T20:06:39Z")
Also: the Jimmy Stewart character in _The Philadephia Story_. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/68 "2010-03-04T01:19:38Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > I think we can all agree that Ben Braddock in _The Graduate_ is a monumental creep. We don’t really know anything about Ross’ jilted spouse other than that he likely has better prospects than Ben, but it would be hard to be more of a complete douche than the titular character. It’s funny you say that, because I always found it a bit annoying that _The Graduate_ DID include a brief scene suggesting that Elaine’s boyfriend/husband was a jerk who didn’t deserve her. When Benjamin is trying to find out about the wedding from the fraternity guys, one of them makes a comment about being surprised the “Make-Out King” is getting married. I took this to mean that Elaine’s fiance was a known womanizer and would likely cheat on her. Of course it’s possible that his reputation was exaggerated or that he planned to give up his crown once he tied the knot. But this line always struck me as being put in just to make the audience less sympathetic towards the guy who’s about the get jilted. > [@tanstaafl](#): > > Aren’t there a lot of occurrences of this trope where the boyfriend is a genuine nice guy but that is portrayed as “bland” whereas the protagonist is the archtypical "bad boy"who steals the girl away from him (because, after all, don’t all women really want “bad boys” no matter what they say)? I’m unable to think of a single movie with this plot. Did you have some particular movie in mind? ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/69 "2010-03-04T01:36:56Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > On the distaff side, there’s **My Favorite Wife** , where Cary Grant’s second wife seems like a perfectly nice woman, but loses Cary to his first wife. It’s been a while since I’ve seen **Some Kind of Wonderful** , but I don’t remember Amanda being portrayed as a raving bitch or anything. And the Dutchess in syfy’s **Alice** (out on dvd yesterday, yay) isn’t one either, since towards the end it’s pretty clear she likes Jack and isn’t just manipulating him for the queen. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/70 "2010-03-04T02:01:10Z")
> [@McGeek](#): > > Her full name is Anne-Marie, and since their circle of friends includes several people with names similar to Marie, he nicknamed her Annie when he met her - what is douche-y about that? With many couples, that would be considered romantic that he has a special pet-name that only he calls her. It’s only romantic if she likes the nickname, but there’s no indication that she really does. And if you’re going to nickname someone, how about nicknaming the one you’re not in love with? Essentially, the name thing indicates his pushy, assertive behavior that seems to steamroll over her sensibilities. He “loves” her (but gets over that quickly), but doesn’t seem to actually listen to her that much. He’s in love with being in love with her without taking the effort to actually care about her feelings more. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/71 "2010-03-04T02:04:08Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > It’s funny you say that, because I always found it a bit annoying that _The Graduate_ DID include a brief scene suggesting that Elaine’s boyfriend/husband was a jerk who didn’t deserve her. When Benjamin is trying to find out about the wedding from the fraternity guys, one of them makes a comment about being surprised the “Make-Out King” is getting married. I took this to mean that Elaine’s fiance was a known womanizer and would likely cheat on her. > > Of course it’s possible that his reputation was exaggerated or that he planned to give up his crown once he tied the knot. But this line always struck me as being put in just to make the audience less sympathetic towards the guy who’s about the get jilted. Yeah, he’s portrayed as the classic American jock type. > [@](#): > > I’m unable to think of a single movie with this plot. Did you have some particular movie in mind? Ralph Bellamy was named in the first few posts of this thread. He was the safe, dull, reliable choice but lost both Rosalind Russell and Irene Dunne to the rogue, unpredictable, slightly selfish charmer Cary Grant (in _His Girl Friday_ and _The Awful Truth_ respectively). ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/72 "2010-03-04T02:43:17Z")
> [@ArchiveGuy](#): > > Ralph Bellamy was named in the first few posts of this thread. He was the safe, dull, reliable choice but lost both Rosalind Russell and Irene Dunne to the rogue, unpredictable, slightly selfish charmer Cary Grant (in _His Girl Friday_ and _The Awful Truth_ respectively). Cary Grant’s characters may not have been exactly “nice”, but he’s definitely not what I’d consider “the archetypal bad boy” either. That would be someone more like Marlon Brando in _The Wild One_. (Did the love interest in that have a boyfriend already? I don’t remember that she did.) ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/73 "2010-03-04T02:43:31Z")
> [@Poysyn](#): > > and until the end, in Run, Fatboy, Run the fiance (played by Hank Azaria) is a much better choice, but shows he is a jerk during the run. I don’t agree with that at all. Throughout the film, Azaria’s character is using his wealth and his good looks to intimidate Simon Pegg’s character, to warn him to stay away from his ex-wife - for example, in the locker room scene where he stands naked facing Pegg, presumably to force Pegg to look at his cock, and in the scene in the park, where he gives an outrageously expensive remote controlled boat to Pegg’s son. He was a rich douche throughout. The ending just confirmed it. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/74 "2010-03-04T03:24:01Z")
> [@KennerTheGreat](#): > > What about Greg Kinnear, Meg Ryan’s boyfriend in You’ve Got Mail? He seemed a reasonable enough guy, just was too different for her. > > OTOH, Parker Posey, Tom Hanks’ girlfriend, was a stuck-up bitch. Except for flirting outrageously and (I think) falling for the TV presenter lady ---
**Author:** ![KennerTheGreat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a8b319/32.png) [@KennerTheGreat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KennerTheGreat)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/75 "2010-03-04T03:54:13Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > Except for flirting outrageously and (I think) falling for the TV presenter lady IIRC, at least he had the stones to tell Meg Ryan “I just don’t love you anymore.” Or something along those lines. It’s not like Kathleen came home one day and caught the two of them in bed together. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/76 "2010-03-04T04:24:01Z")
> [@McGeek](#): > > Having watched this dozens of times, I gotta disagree with your assessment of Dane Cook’s character. > He’s just like Joey Tribiani on “Friends” - not deep, but doesn’t have a mean-hearted bone in him. Except for the “This Little Piggy” song. How about Christopher Reeve in **Changing Channels** , William Hurt in **Broadcast News** , or Harvey Dent (pre-disfigurement) in **The Dark Knight**? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/77 "2010-03-04T06:00:55Z")
> [@tanstaafl](#): > > Aren’t there a lot of occurrences of this trope where the boyfriend is a genuine nice guy but that is portrayed as “bland” whereas the protagonist is the archtypical "bad boy"who steals the girl away from him (because, after all, don’t all women really want “bad boys” no matter what they say)? > [@Lamia](#): > > I’m unable to think of a single movie with this plot. Did you have some particular movie in mind? Well in _Dudley Do-Right_, once Snidely Whiplash succeeds in having Dudley drummed out of the Mounties, he becomes “respectable”, at which point it becomes clear that he is, in fact, bland and ineffectual, whereas bad-boy Dudley is just the man for [del]Carrie Bradshaw[/del] Nell Fenwick. ---
**Author:** ![DonJorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/47e85d/32.png) [@DonJorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DonJorge)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/78 "2010-03-04T14:58:43Z")
in 2012, the dentist is quite a nice guy, and actually saves everyone a couple times. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/79 "2010-03-05T03:00:00Z")
> [@Krokodil](#): > > Harvey Dent (pre-disfigurement) in **The Dark Knight**? In that case, couldn’t we assume this is what happens after the nice guy won the girl away from the asshole? See, that’s what happens when you date nice guys. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828/80 "2010-03-05T05:01:06Z")
> [@winterhawk11](#): > > It’s not a movie (though I hope it will be someday, if they do it right) but \*Atlas Shrugged \*is a good example. Dagny Taggart starts out loving Francisco d’Anconia in her teens, then loves Hank Rearden for awhile until she meets John Galt, and realizes that Galt was the one she’d been looking for all along. Francisco and Hank (both good guys, though I’m not sure I’d call either of them “nice”) take this relatively well, agreeing that Galt and Dagny belong together. They all remain good friends. Yes, and Rand deliberately worked it out that way, to hammer home the principle that rational men can compete with each other for even the highest of values, without that whole “dog-eat-dog” thing. Rand’s own marriage was another example. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-the-protagonists-love-interests-boyfriend-isnt-a-complete-douche/530828.md?page=3)