# Where there's smoke, there's an asshole **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 24, 2007, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-theres-smoke-theres-an-asshole/409183 "2007-06-24T03:01:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-theres-smoke-theres-an-asshole/409183/21 "2007-06-24T14:44:02Z")
[QUOTE=liberty3701] I feel your pain. I live in an apartment building in a fairly\*\* dense\*\* city. Yesterday morning, 7am, fire alarm starts going off. We get up, put clothes on, cram the cat into his crate and skootle out the building. At seven in the motherfucking morning on a motherfucking Saturday. Turns out some idiot was _barbecuing **in** his apartment._ We are not amused. [/QUOTE] :eek: That’s dense alright! ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-theres-smoke-theres-an-asshole/409183/22 "2007-06-24T15:22:34Z")
[QUOTE=Barbarian] OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE! Who the fuck starts BBQing before 6 a.m. on a goddamn Saturday? It wasn’t like these guys were drunk and had stayed up all night. They had a spit ready to go, and that spit kept turning all the goddamn day. [/QUOTE] Perhaps someone who is having a picknic and want to actually eat the roasted pig before midnight? Spit cooking a pig can take 10-12 hours … so they do have to start it at 6 am to eat at a resonable picknic time. ---
**Author:** ![Gukumatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/74df32/32.png) [@Gukumatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gukumatz)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-theres-smoke-theres-an-asshole/409183/23 "2007-06-24T16:51:03Z")
Sure they weren’t celebrating the (Norwegian) custom of Jonsok? (The birth of Johannes the Baptist) [Jonsok – Wikipedia](http://nn.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonsok) (Article in Norwegian, but the picture should illustrate the typical norwegian way of celebrating) ---
**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-theres-smoke-theres-an-asshole/409183/24 "2007-06-24T16:52:48Z")
Usually fire up my smoker around 8:00 - 9:00 PM, and let it go all night. The initial flame-up can be a little disconcerting to the uninitiated. But mine smells goooooooood! Especially when I have cherry or hickory to burn in it. I try to share a little of the final product with the neighbors whenever possible to compensate them for putting of with the smoke. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-theres-smoke-theres-an-asshole/409183/25 "2007-06-24T17:35:52Z")
Count your blessings it’s just a dickbag with a BBQ. Every spring the Peckerwoods to the west and the Nouveau Riche to the north burn every square inch of their fields, waking the noxious weeds nice and early. If we mistakenly leave our windows open it looks and smells like fucking Pinatubo blew through our house. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-theres-smoke-theres-an-asshole/409183/26 "2007-06-24T17:50:36Z")
[QUOTE=El Cid Viscoso] Count your blessings it’s just a dickbag with a BBQ. Every spring the Peckerwoods to the west and the Nouveau Riche to the north burn every square inch of their fields, waking the noxious weeds nice and early. If we mistakenly leave our windows open it looks and smells like fucking Pinatubo blew through our house. [/QUOTE] I remember that when I lived in Fun Junction. That whole place smells like burnt ass in the springtime. I have a neighbor that burns trash. It seems like it’s every Sunday morning around 7 and it angles right into my swamp cooler and fills my tiny house with smokey vapory air. And I still freak out every time thinking that the fire has escaped the hills and is even now ravaging the valley floor. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-theres-smoke-theres-an-asshole/409183/27 "2007-06-24T18:05:38Z")
Oh no, the AV’s got to be dry as tinder. I’d be soaking my roof every morning. 😃 Ugh. The only thing worse than smoky air is swampy, smoky air. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-theres-smoke-theres-an-asshole/409183/28 "2007-06-24T18:24:29Z")
Fortunately the fires don’t get down here too often, and the super-planned grid-style street system provides a pretty good break. I’m close enough to the hills that it’s an anxiety, but I mostly worry about the asshole neighbor and his flaming trash barrel. And the meth labs. Mostly those. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-theres-smoke-theres-an-asshole/409183/29 "2007-06-24T18:29:36Z")
C’mon, it’s just a bathtub full of kerosene. Where’s your sense of adventure? ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-theres-smoke-theres-an-asshole/409183/30 "2007-06-24T19:31:56Z")
Once I was invited to a barbecue. I didn’t like the couple that invited me very much, but they lived nearby, so I went out of neighborly obligation. After arriving, I was given a plate of shish kabobs. So, while chatting amicably, I took a small bite. Whoa. I don’t know how much lighter fluid he used (a lot), but I know he didn’t let it burn off _at all_. It tasted like the meat had been marinated in it. My whole mouth went numb, and my eyes began to water. I tried to be discreet, but I had to spit it out into a napkin. Then I went to get a drink, to rinse my mouth of the awfulness. They had “sangria”, which, as it turned out, was a bottle of cheap vodka, with a smidge of grape kool-aid, and some marchino cherries floating in it. Horrid swill. So, I left. Worst barbecue ever. ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2007, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-theres-smoke-theres-an-asshole/409183/31 "2007-06-25T02:08:42Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] Also, I’m a bit curious what kind of neighborhood you live in that your first worry of smoke is that anti-semites are tossing around molotov cocktails, or was that just some good old-fashioned hyperbole? [/QUOTE] No hyperbole I’m afraid. I live down the street from a synogogue, and in the past year or so there have been two or three Molotovs tossed at jewish schools and community centres in Montreal. I wouldn’t have taken any meat off their grill. I’ve been to smoker parties, and the manner in which these people were cooking bore no resemblance to anything that could be called quality cooking. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2007, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-theres-smoke-theres-an-asshole/409183/32 "2007-06-25T05:35:04Z")
[QUOTE=Barbarian] It was two guys, starting up their BBQ with great ineptness. [/QUOTE] Proper Answer: **Fire Extinguisher**. ---
**Author:** ![Cerowyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Cerowyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerowyn)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2007, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-theres-smoke-theres-an-asshole/409183/33 "2007-06-25T07:30:33Z")
[QUOTE=AudreyK] it was still one of (many) reasons I moved. [/QUOTE] I would have thought a bedroom window that wouldn’t close would be all the reason you needed. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2007, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-theres-smoke-theres-an-asshole/409183/34 "2007-06-25T12:54:49Z")
[QUOTE=Barbarian] Where there’s smoke, there’s an asshole. [/QUOTE] You’ve got [that](http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=2980300) right. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2007, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-theres-smoke-theres-an-asshole/409183/35 "2007-06-25T13:20:22Z")
[QUOTE=Barbarian] Where there’s smoke, there’s an asshole [/QUOTE] You might want to cut back on the Mexican food. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-theres-smoke-theres-an-asshole/409183.md?page=1)