# Where were you when stories
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-were-you-when-stories/509683
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [September 11, 2009, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-were-you-when-stories/509683 "2009-09-11T13:37:19Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)
#### Post date: [September 11, 2009, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-were-you-when-stories/509683/41 "2009-09-11T19:00:42Z")
So…
Where were you?
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### Author:  [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)
#### Post date: [September 11, 2009, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-were-you-when-stories/509683/42 "2009-09-11T19:14:46Z")
If all anyone has to say is specifically how they found out, and nothing else, yeah, that’s boring. But because it was such a disruptive event, for the whole country, not just NYC and DC, I am interested in people’s stories of what they did for the rest of the day and the following days. Frex, a friend of mine was in Canada when it happened. I don’t remember his whole story, but it was quite a pickle. So, no, I don’t find the stories **that go beyond “I was shaving and it was on the radio”** to be all the same.
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### Author:  [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)
#### Post date: [September 11, 2009, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-were-you-when-stories/509683/43 "2009-09-11T19:15:38Z")
People love to talk about themselves. It’s that simple. If they get to talk about themselves and their reaction to an important national event, all the better.
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### Author:  [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)
#### Post date: [September 11, 2009, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-were-you-when-stories/509683/44 "2009-09-11T19:19:39Z")
> [@cricetus](#):
>
> Fine. Then this: I think by now, having heard one billion of them, that if “I saw it on TV/I heard it on the radio” stories made me feel connected to someone I would have by now. Instead, I feel a rupture. I feel less connected to people because I think those stories are lurid, vapid, self-serving, and obnoxious. I think it is poor form to make other people’s tragedies a story about how you found out about it. I didn’t feel disconnected before. I just assumed that you were saddened and horrified by 9/11, just as I was. When you lose me is when you make it a story about you when you weren’t there.
>
> People who were in NYC, or have strong connections there? Absolutely they can tell their stories and sob on each other’s shoulders. Otherwise: stfu and let them have their day of remembrance.
Except you’re ignoring the fact that it wasn’t just something that happened to New York. Our freakin’ _pentagon_ was attacked. It looked like all holy hell was about to break loose, and nobody knew what was going to happen next. We didn’t have the luxury of knowing that a relatively small terrorist cell had orchestrated the whole thing, for all we knew it was the beginning of World War III.
I don’t deny that this was a deeply personal trauma for many New Yorkers and DCers, and that there is a narrative they have that none of us will ever touch. But it was more than a collection of individual traumas, it was an event that shaped our national identity, which impacted government policy, which changed the course of U.S. History. The fact that we all share in the memory of that day is significant and worthy of discussion.
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### Author:  [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)
#### Post date: [September 11, 2009, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-were-you-when-stories/509683/45 "2009-09-11T19:32:19Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#):
>
> Unless I’ve missed a bunch of threads, there appears to be one 9/11 memorial thread currently active on the SDMB right now, and it seems to me that if you know that you are likely to become irritated, bored, and/or annoyed by people reminiscing about 9/11, that it would be pretty easy for you to simply not open the thread.
>
> As opposed to this thread, which I thought was going to be a collection of “where were you when?” stories - which I completely unapologetically like to read.
No, what you’ve missed is that there’s a whole world outside this board. I was talking about it.
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### Author:  [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)
#### Post date: [September 11, 2009, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-were-you-when-stories/509683/46 "2009-09-11T19:34:04Z")
> [@TruCelt](#):
>
> See, here’s the thing. In order to get this, you would have to be interested in getting to know other people. . . you would have to be someone to whom alternate perspectives and experiences are interesting. For a narcissist like yourself, yes, the answer is probably to put your hands over your ears from Sept. 10-13 each year.
>
> 😉
Wow, that’s all kinds of fucked up. Anyone whoever finds another person’s story boring is categorically uninterested in other people all the time, and is a narcissist? Then I guess every person on earth is a narcissist.
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### Author:  [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)
#### Post date: [September 11, 2009, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-were-you-when-stories/509683/47 "2009-09-11T19:34:33Z")
I find it very interesting, other people’s experiences on that day. Like Dec 7 and Nov 23, it is a date that will live in infamy. Everyone KNOWS where they were when they heard and saw and learned what happened. I may not remember what I was doing on a random day two years ago, but I sure as hell know where I was eight years ago today.
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### Author:  [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)
#### Post date: [September 11, 2009, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-were-you-when-stories/509683/48 "2009-09-11T19:47:58Z")
As many of you know, [I was](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=134418&highlight=Changed) [there that day and the next.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=134419&highlight=Changed).
While I do understand intellectually why there is a bit of chafing and even contempt for those who are emotionally connected, I am extremely derisive of those who feel such. If the OP’er had ever witnessed or dealt with severe trauma and then carried it within for the balance of their life, I suspect this thread would not exist. Then again, perhaps that person has and does not or can not connect the pain they remember with the pain others remember from this large event.
I was there. Most were not. Does that mean my pain and upset is better? Bigger? More “valid” ? Nope. Everyone must be permitted the right to process an event as large as this one from where THEY stood/stand. I find it disrespectful to do any less.
Am I a mess today? No. I’m at work. A bit melancholy and reflective. But destroyed? No. 8 years has done a lot to heal. YMMV.
Cartooniverse
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### Author:  [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)
#### Post date: [September 11, 2009, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-were-you-when-stories/509683/49 "2009-09-11T19:49:58Z")
> [@Francesca](#):
>
> People love to talk about themselves. It’s that simple. If they get to talk about themselves and their reaction to an important national event, all the better.
Didn’t see this before posting.
The difference between attention whore and community member is in your point of view, not the sharers. My narrative is no more less interesting, important, valid or useful than that of thousands of others. It is but one voice. First person narratives are much more useful, IMHO, than third person analysis weeks after the fact.
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### Author:  [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)
#### Post date: [September 11, 2009, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-were-you-when-stories/509683/50 "2009-09-11T19:55:33Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#):
>
> As many of you know, [I was](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=134418&highlight=Changed) [there that day and the next.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=134419&highlight=Changed).
>
> While I do understand intellectually why there is a bit of chafing and even contempt for those who are emotionally connected, I am extremely derisive of those who feel such. **If the OP’er had ever witnessed or dealt with severe trauma and then carried it within for the balance of their life, I suspect this thread would not exist.** Then again, perhaps that person has and does not or can not connect the pain they remember with the pain others remember from this large event.
>
> I was there. Most were not. Does that mean my pain and upset is better? Bigger? More “valid” ? Nope. Everyone must be permitted the right to process an event as large as this one from where THEY stood/stand. I find it disrespectful to do any less.
>
> Am I a mess today? No. I’m at work. A bit melancholy and reflective. But destroyed? No. 8 years has done a lot to heal. YMMV.
>
> Cartooniverse
I think you’re confused about what this thread is about. I am not talking about people who suffered trauma. I am talking about people who didn’t and rehash it like it’s the plot of 24.
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### Author:  [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)
#### Post date: [September 11, 2009, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-were-you-when-stories/509683/51 "2009-09-11T20:17:32Z")
You think because we weren’t in New York or at the Pentagon we weren’t affected? I have compassion, I cried when I got home, I was afraid of what would happen next. How dare you say I have no right to discuss a national tragedy just because I wasn’t at the scene. How dare you say I have no right to listen and sympathize with others.
I’m sorry this day is such an inconvenience to you. For many, it’s not.
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### Author:  [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)
#### Post date: [September 11, 2009, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-were-you-when-stories/509683/52 "2009-09-11T20:27:37Z")
> [@ivylass](#):
>
> You think because we weren’t in New York or at the Pentagon we weren’t affected? I have compassion, I cried when I got home, I was afraid of what would happen next. How dare you say I have no right to discuss a national tragedy just because I wasn’t at the scene. How dare you say I have no right to listen and sympathize with others.
>
> I’m sorry this day is such an inconvenience to you. For many, it’s not.
Wow, I’m sorry I upset you so much, but I can solace myself somewhat with the knowledge that I didn’t say anything like that.
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### Author:  [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)
#### Post date: [September 11, 2009, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-were-you-when-stories/509683/53 "2009-09-11T20:28:38Z")
I seriously disagree with having this thread moved to MPSIMS.
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### Author:  [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)
#### Post date: [September 11, 2009, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-were-you-when-stories/509683/54 "2009-09-11T20:34:49Z")
I guess it was stupid of me to merely be honest about something. I guarantee you people all over the country are also sick of these stories. People who are caring, compassionate, and profoundly affected by 9/11.
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### Author:  [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)
#### Post date: [September 11, 2009, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-were-you-when-stories/509683/55 "2009-09-11T20:45:45Z")
I wouldn’t say I find it annoying when people relate where they were. It’s not particularly interesting, but whatever. What does irk me is when people try to connect themselves to it so it’s just a little more tragic for them. It was devestating in it’s own right. There’s no need to try and gain a little more tragedy cred by claiming that you were almost on that plane or that your uncle used to work in the building around the corner. Weep for those that were lost and leave your “near brush with disaster” out of it.
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### Author:  [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)
#### Post date: [September 11, 2009, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-were-you-when-stories/509683/56 "2009-09-11T20:59:56Z")
> [@cricetus](#):
>
> I guess it was stupid of me to merely be honest about something. I guarantee you people all over the country are also sick of these stories. People who are caring, compassionate, and profoundly affected by 9/11.
No, but it’s stupid of you to expect everyone to agree with you. You’ve made your point, and I for one assume it’s a valid one for you, but you’re hardly in a position to insist everyone else must share it. Clearly a lot of people disagree with you, and they are as entitled to post their opinion as you are yours. So you may “guarantee” that people “all over the country” are also sick of these stories, but I in turn guarantee that people all over the country are NOT sick of these stories. And – surprise! – we’re probably both right.
I find them very interesting myself. I am interested in how varied our individual personal experiences were as we simulatenously experienced the same thing collectively. I am especially interested in hearing how the events were experience by those in other countries. So our mileage varies. So what?
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### Author:  [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)
#### Post date: [September 11, 2009, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-were-you-when-stories/509683/57 "2009-09-11T21:16:38Z")
> [@cricetus](#):
>
> No, what you’ve missed is that there’s a whole world outside this board. I was talking about it.
You’re coming off as kind of a jerk in this thread, and I honestly have no idea why. All the time, people talk about stuff that I think is silly, lame, or boring. I would assume this is true for most people. I don’t know why this topic in particular has suddenly sent you over the edge. You’ve seemed like a decent enough guy in pretty much every other thread I’ve ever noticed you in.
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### Author:  [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)
#### Post date: [September 11, 2009, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-were-you-when-stories/509683/58 "2009-09-11T21:36:57Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#):
>
> You’re coming off as kind of a jerk in this thread, and I honestly have no idea why. All the time, people talk about stuff that I think is silly, lame, or boring. I would assume this is true for most people. I don’t know why this topic in particular has suddenly sent you over the edge. You’ve seemed like a decent enough guy in pretty much every other thread I’ve ever noticed you in.
I’ve read back over the thread and tried to figure out how it all went awry from the OP on. I guess I could have put things differently, or not at all, but if I went in carelessly, it’s because I honestly thought most people would agree with me. I thought it was about as controversial as complaining about excessive coverage of the Michael Jackson funeral, to be honest. The few people I’d talked to in person knew what I was talking about and felt the same way.
But thanks for that comment, anyway.
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### Author:  [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)
#### Post date: [September 11, 2009, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-were-you-when-stories/509683/59 "2009-09-11T21:46:09Z")
I agree with the OP, and I don’t see why it’s even controversial. These stories are _never_ interesting, and they’re not even very different from each other. It’s just a way for people to turn it into a story about themselves. Really, you were at work and then sombody told you about it, and then you couldn’t believe it? What a fascinating person you are.
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### Author:  [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)
#### Post date: [September 11, 2009, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-were-you-when-stories/509683/60 "2009-09-11T22:02:06Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#):
>
> I agree with the OP, and I don’t see why it’s even controversial. These stories are _never_ interesting, and they’re not even very different from each other. It’s just a way for people to turn it into a story about themselves. Really, you were at work and then sombody told you about it, and then you couldn’t believe it? What a fascinating person you are.
Well, **Diogenes** has declared these stories are _never_ interesting, so I guess that’s settled. :rolleyes: There’s nothing particularly “controversial” in discovering people disagree with you. The fact that you don’t see how they possibly could says a lot more about you than it does about them.
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