This is what I posted on Tuesday in my LiveJournal.
Six months ago, my alarm clock woke me up on time. I was beat. I’d started a new internship at Student Legal Services the day before, and I still had lots of nervous jitters to work out about doing real legal work for the first time. But, I had a full day of school ahead of me, so I dragged myself out of bed, showered, and dressed for the day. Normally, before I left, I would leave the TV on some reruns of old sitcoms or something similarly easy to swallow before I have to do any actual thinking.
This morning, just as I was preparing to leave, I switched to NBC for some reason. The screen was covered with “Breaking News” and “Live” banners. And there was a building on fire.
A plane, they said, had just hit one of the World Trade Center towers. Something was wrong, they said. An air traffic control problem? they wondered. And as they were speculating about that, another plane, looking very large, flew in from the right side of the screen. But it never passed to the left.
I grabbed the little LCD TV I’d bought back when I was working and had money, got some fresh batteries from the fridge, and drove to school as fast as I could; staying and watching the news for so long meant I had to rush to make it on time. I flipped on the TV in the last minute I had before class started. They weren’t thinking about air traffic control problems any more.
Somehow we sat through a class on museum and art law. That day we talked about copyrights. While New York burned, we talked about infringement. Class broke a few minutes early, and most people rushed to the law school forum, where a TV had been wheeled out. There was no antenna, so the picture and sound were terrible, but hundreds of students were riveted. I put my little TV on the table in the Commons and watched and listened while I read for Race and Racism. People in the halls were saying that one of the buildings had collapsed, but I didn’t believe it; most of us didn’t. It was too much. I mean, they were among the tallest buildings in the world. Nothing that big just falls down. Right?
I went to Race and Racism, and then to Commercial Law. No one could concentrate in either class, not even our professors, so they let us go early.
We had planned to hold the first meeting of the Second Amendment Student Association at lunchtime. Free pizza, free Coke, please come. There were hundreds of students at the school, but almost no one came. They stayed close to that static-stained image of Manhattan hidden under smoke. We gave away most of the pizza to people walking by in the halls.
One last class, Gaming and Racing Law, at 3:30. Again, no one could concentrate. We all went home early.
There was nothing on TV but news, which was exactly what I was looking for. I went into the #straightdope IRC channel, which was packed that night with about 50 people, and we all watched together. Finally, I was at rest and among friends, able to spare time for myself for the first time that day. We all hurt, and we all cried, and we all stayed up late because you can’t sleep when things seem so unreal.
That’s about it. I was just a pedestrian on September 11th, a passer-by. No one I knew died that day. All I have is the perspective of an outsider. And really, I’m glad of it, because that was more than enough. The pain I felt that day wasn’t connected to anyone specific, but it was plenty real enough. And today I’m keeping it, in memory of those who also woke up on time, who went to work even though they were tired, but never came home.