# Where Would Jesus Park? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 5, 2001, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301 "2001-07-05T04:34:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/1 "2001-07-05T04:34:15Z")
Seen any good bumperstickers lately? A wonderful license plate frame I saw today said: **Feeling too good to care why!** Probably one of the best I ever saw was: **Don’t postpone joy.** ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/2 "2001-07-05T04:37:37Z")
I saw Jesus’ drivers license today. I think he parked his Winnebago in front of my office. ---
**Author:** ![geekbooks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/898d66/32.png) [@geekbooks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/geekbooks)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/3 "2001-07-05T04:42:27Z")
If Jesus drove a Winnebago, he wouldn’t have to park it. The thing would park itself … he’d get dropped off, and the Winnebago would just go float up to the clouds and wait. Tell her to Win e bago! We’re giving them away! ---
**Author:** ![saepiroth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@saepiroth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saepiroth)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/4 "2001-07-05T07:05:31Z")
i just saw this one. i think i would have liked the person who had it. “_Jesus loves you…_ **but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.** ” ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/5 "2001-07-05T07:13:30Z")
With the holes and all that, would he be able to use handicapped parking spaces? ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/6 "2001-07-05T07:23:54Z")
My favorite bumper sticker of all time says “The driver only carries $20 worth of ammunition”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/7 "2001-07-05T07:35:33Z")
Just yesterday I saw a T-Shirt that said: > [@](#): > > **I don’t have a drinking problem…** > I drink > I get drunk > I fall down… > NO PROBLEM! and I thought it was cute. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/8 "2001-07-05T08:26:52Z")
Where would Jesus park? Anywhere he wants to? I’d love to see someone give him a ticket! ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/9 "2001-07-05T08:55:40Z")
A few years back, my mom designed and published a few hundred bumper stickers that read: > [@](#): > > _Smart Bombs or Smart Kids; > Put your $$ Where the Future Is!_ I love that sticker. I still see one around Berkeley every so often, even now, about… 8 years after they were originally produced. ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/10 "2001-07-05T08:59:44Z")
**One Less Car** it’s on bicycles all over town 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![NotBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b2d939/32.png) [@NotBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NotBob)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/11 "2001-07-05T09:23:19Z")
If Jesus did park in a public car park, you wouldn’t want to bash his car with your door when you got out! ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/12 "2001-07-05T09:32:47Z")
I think Jesus would take the bus. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/13 "2001-07-05T10:47:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NotBob \* > \*\*If Jesus did park in a public car park, you wouldn’t want to bash his car with your door when you got out! \*\* But couldn’t he just fix the dent himself? ::touch:: \ And the even paint matches again. ---
**Author:** ![NotBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b2d939/32.png) [@NotBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NotBob)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/14 "2001-07-05T10:52:46Z")
"But couldn’t he just fix the dent himself? ::touch:: \ And the even paint matches again." * * * You would want to hope you diddnt get back to your car and find a 2 inch metal cube where it used to be… ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/15 "2001-07-05T11:34:23Z")
He’d park in the middle of two parking spaces, and say, “Oh yeah? Do you have any idea who I am? My dad’s a big hotshot…you’re gonna regret it!” ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/16 "2001-07-05T12:10:59Z")
WWJTKD? _What Would James T. Kirk Do?_ I know this turned up in a thread. It has since turned up on a bumper-sticker in Middle Tennessee. Go figure. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/17 "2001-07-05T18:20:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NotBob \* > \*\*"But couldn’t he just fix the dent himself? > > ::touch:: > \ > And the even paint matches again." > \*\* I don’t think so. He wouldn’t have bought insurance on the Winnebago if he could. ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/18 "2001-07-05T18:28:08Z")
I have it on good authority that if, in fact, God was “one of us,” and a “slob like one of us,” then he would be no more than a “stranger on the bus, just trying to make his way home.” So, the question of where he would park is largely inconsequential. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/19 "2001-07-05T18:47:35Z")
But I’m told Jesus is a nice guy: probably not only would he not turn my car into a 2" cube, he’d fix the dent I accidently made on his Winnebago (with evenly matched paint [sorry about the word order]}, but also would turn around and heal the hole in my muffler, too. **GOTN** - insurance is something Jesus wouldn’t _need_ (in that sense) but would have to have, in case he was pulled over by a cop: license, registration, insurance, the whole 9 yards. {And would he have the “God is my co-pilot” license plate on the front? Or maybe the Pennsylvania fun-plates: “What a Friend We Have in…JESUS”? Unless of course he had to have a standard-issue front plate.) ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/20 "2001-07-05T19:04:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor \* > \*\*WWJTKD? > _What Would James T. Kirk Do?_ > I know this turned up in a thread. > It has since turned up on a bumper-sticker in Middle Tennessee.Go figure. 😕 \*\* Easy. He’d either make love to it or blow it up. Or both. My personal philosophy: What would Frodo do? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301.md?page=2)