# Where Would Jesus Park? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 5, 2001, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301 "2001-07-05T04:34:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/41 "2001-07-06T10:16:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tenar \* > **"Warning: In Case of Rapture, This Car will Be Unmanned"?** I have the follow-up to this - “In Case of Rapture, Can I Have Your Car?” Others I’ve seen: “JESUS SAVES! Gretsky gets the puck, he shoots, he scores!” “Jesus is my best friend. - We go bowling Tuesday nights” “Have I found Jesus? Don’t tell me he’s lost AGAIN!” “I don’t care WHO you are! Don’t walk on the water when I’m fishing!” “JESUS SAVES by shopping wisely and using double coupons” ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/42 "2001-07-06T12:11:26Z")
My other car is also a piece of shit! ---
**Author:** ![robinh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b77776/32.png) [@robinh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robinh)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/43 "2001-07-06T12:23:31Z")
One I have considered ordering from [Northern Sun](http://www.northernsun.com) “I bet **Jesus** would have used **His** turn signals” ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/44 "2001-07-06T13:02:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Barbarian \* > \*\ ***One Less Car** > > it’s on bicycles all over town 🙂 \*\* and in the same vane “I’m changing the environment” put on SUVs by some eco-guys ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/45 "2001-07-06T13:20:04Z")
I’ve seen one that I MUST have: “For a small town, this one sure has a lot of assholes” Zette ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/46 "2001-07-06T14:24:06Z")
Years back, I was at a student church group evening worship service. The chapel was very quiet as our soft-spoken pastor gave her homily about the Exodus. She was talking about the Jews’ life at the time and she asked us, “What do any of you know about Egypt?” Long silence, then my buddy says, “Well, I’ve _parked_ there…” I lost it - fell on the floor I was laughing so hard. So I think that answers the OP question - Jesus parks in B.F. Egypt, just like the rest of us. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/47 "2001-07-06T15:57:40Z")
I’m guessing that Jesus, if he were alive today, wouldn’t drive at all; therefore, he’d have no use for a parking space. He’d probably walk among us, doing his thing, and being totally ignored or thought of as a complete wacko who’s just in the way of everyone who’s busy talking into their cell phones while trying to get to the dry cleaners to pick up the laundry because the kids have soccer practice and they’re wondering what to have for dinner and whether they’ll get that promotion and how much debt they have and if their spouse is cheating on them and whether they should cheat on their spouse and how Bush got elected and how anybody could conceivably vote for Gore and if they should get a new suit and what day is their parent’s anniversary and on and on and on and on and on. Nope, I’m not seeing Jesus as a driver. Just a guy trying to get a message out (be good to one another) to a bunch of people who can’t be bothered to hear it. More’s the pity. ---
**Author:** ![Peta\_Tzunami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b487fb/32.png) [@Peta\_Tzunami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peta_Tzunami)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/48 "2001-07-06T16:50:27Z")
Each morning Pld and I pass church in Old Towne Alexandria that reads: Church parking only Violators will be “baptised” (With the misplaced quotes) ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/49 "2001-07-06T17:03:48Z")
The church near my house has two signs along the “fire lane - no parking area”. Sign at one end of the fire lane: **No Parking from Here to Eternity** At the other end of the fire lane: **Eternity** ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/50 "2001-07-06T19:24:16Z")
I’ve always been rather annoyed by the “Mean People Suck” stickers. Until I saw the antidote: “Nice People Swallow”. I thought that was a good contrast. **Michael Ellis** , lemme guess…San Diego. Or, God forbid, is there ANOTHER shitty small market team that’s demanding a downtown baseball-only stadium…? Go, Padres! And take the Chargers with you. ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/51 "2001-07-06T22:23:59Z")
seen in Virginia: One gun a month It’s the law ---
**Author:** ![Hooteewho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cc9497/32.png) [@Hooteewho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hooteewho)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/52 "2001-07-06T23:27:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by plnnr \* > \*\*I’m guessing that Jesus, if he were alive today, wouldn’t drive at all; therefore, he’d have no use for a parking space. He’d probably walk among us, doing his thing, and being totally ignored or thought of as a complete wacko who’s just in the way of everyone who’s busy talking into their cell phones while trying to get to the dry cleaners to pick up the laundry because the kids have soccer practice and they’re wondering what to have for dinner and whether they’ll get that promotion and how much debt they have and if their spouse is cheating on them and whether they should cheat on their spouse and how Bush got elected and how anybody could conceivably vote for Gore and if they should get a new suit and what day is their parent’s anniversary and on and on and on and on and on. Nope, I’m not seeing Jesus as a driver. Just a guy trying to get a message out (be good to one another) to a bunch of people who can’t be bothered to hear it. More’s the pity. \*\* My thoughts exactly, you were eloquent and I totally agree. ---
**Author:** ![Wump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ed655f/32.png) [@Wump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wump)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/53 "2001-07-08T06:16:59Z")
My neighbors have this sign that says: “Trespassers will be shot, survivers will be prossecuted” Don’t know why, but i like it… ---
**Author:** ![katiekilldare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/838e76/32.png) [@katiekilldare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/katiekilldare)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/54 "2001-07-08T06:43:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by slortar \* > \*\*Well, since Jesus did build my hot rod, I assume dents would be no problem. All I really have to say besides that is whamma ram a dam, my ram a lama ding dong. \*\* Amen, brother. Ding-a-ding dang my dang-a-long ling-long. I’ve seen a couple of pretty good bumper stickers. One was square and yellow. It looked like a caution sign, and it said, “WARNING: STAND CLEAR OF THIS MACHINE” The other one I liked said, “My other car is a Millennium Falcon” ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301/55 "2001-07-08T06:58:34Z")
Don’t have a car, sooo don’t have bumper stickers. BUT, I have one of these “Baby on board” thingy. Mine says, “Tribbles in trunk”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-jesus-park/71301.md?page=2)