# Where would you hide $10 million in cash/jewels **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 23, 2008, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-you-hide-10-million-in-cash-jewels/457553 "2008-07-23T22:50:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2008, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-you-hide-10-million-in-cash-jewels/457553/41 "2008-07-24T19:49:28Z")
[QUOTE=Projammer] Convert everything to gold. Melt and cast gold into small statues. [Electroplate](http://www.caswellplating.com/kits/brass.htm) with brass. Display in suitable curio cabinet. [/QUOTE] Same problem as the coins above. The statues will be un-naturally heavy for their size. Gold is really dense. Si ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2008, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-you-hide-10-million-in-cash-jewels/457553/42 "2008-07-24T19:58:17Z")
[QUOTE=si\_blakely] Gold is really dense. Si [/QUOTE] I read the first word without the “L.” It completed changed the statement. Guess you can say I got the “L” out of there. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2008, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-you-hide-10-million-in-cash-jewels/457553/43 "2008-07-24T21:07:43Z")
[QUOTE=si\_blakely] Same problem as the coins above. The statues will be un-naturally heavy for their size. Gold is really dense. Si [/QUOTE] I hadn’t made clear in my original post that the plan was to create small enough figurines that the extra weight wouldn’t be especially remarkable. Most people picking up brass statues either expect them to be heavy or are surprised at how heavy they are. That they would be heavier wouldn’t be noteworthy. There is a larger problem with my suggestion though. Several in fact. First, $10,000,000 in gold at $927.57/oz ([current](http://goldprice.org/)) is still going to be about 820 pounds avoirdupois. Second, collecting that much gold is going to attract much attention, even using straw buyers. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2008, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-you-hide-10-million-in-cash-jewels/457553/44 "2008-07-24T21:18:10Z")
I’d hide it underneath the 6 person hot tub on the deck of my beach house on my private island overlooking the Pacific Ocean. I mean, seriously, what’s the point of having $10m if you can’t enjoy it? ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2008, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-you-hide-10-million-in-cash-jewels/457553/45 "2008-07-24T21:26:19Z")
There’s a thought. Make some large, heavy object (hottub) out of gold and tell everyone that it’s gold plated. Hidden in plain sight! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2008, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-you-hide-10-million-in-cash-jewels/457553/46 "2008-07-24T21:53:53Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] My apartment actually has a good sized hidden room. You have to smack the wall in the right space to pop it open. I could hide anything there. [/QUOTE] After you take out the bodies, you mean. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2008, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-you-hide-10-million-in-cash-jewels/457553/47 "2008-07-24T21:56:33Z")
I would build myself a mausoleum, then add a hidden compartment. Stone, metal doors, & few wish to go near it. ---
**Author:** ![Mongo\_Ponton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Mongo\_Ponton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mongo_Ponton)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2008, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-you-hide-10-million-in-cash-jewels/457553/48 "2008-07-24T23:10:39Z")
Bearer Bonds Mailed to a Post Office Box. My understanding is that as long as the box rent is paid, no one is messing with anything in there. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2008, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-you-hide-10-million-in-cash-jewels/457553/49 "2008-07-24T23:19:56Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] I would build myself a mausoleum, then add a hidden compartment. Stone, metal doors, & few wish to go near it. [/QUOTE] I thought about this, but it’s difficult to inter anything in one without all manner of paperwork. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2008, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-you-hide-10-million-in-cash-jewels/457553/50 "2008-07-25T00:51:22Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] I thought about this, but it’s difficult to inter anything in one without all manner of paperwork. [/QUOTE] Not if you have the key. ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2008, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-you-hide-10-million-in-cash-jewels/457553/51 "2008-07-25T17:14:08Z")
[QUOTE=Projammer] Convert everything to gold. Melt and cast gold into small statues. [Electroplate](http://www.caswellplating.com/kits/brass.htm) with brass. Display in suitable curio cabinet. [/QUOTE] How about casting them as gaming miniatures. I’ve seen them range from historic to science fiction to fantasy. Some of the pieces can be quite sizable, and it’s expected that you will paint them, which nicely hides the gold. [This site](http://eurekamin.com.au/faq.php#11) has an interesting selection. ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2008, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-you-hide-10-million-in-cash-jewels/457553/52 "2008-07-25T18:30:45Z")
We have, on our property, a dual-emitter septic system. Each emitter is about four feet across and 30 feet long. I would bury the valuables under one of the emitters until the revolution was over. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2008, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-you-hide-10-million-in-cash-jewels/457553/53 "2008-07-25T19:16:12Z")
All the posts about hiding objects in plain sight are nice and all, but if somebody ever becomes aware that 10M worth of valuables is in your abode, and you are not there, and there is no security in place, rest assured that stuff will be found and taken eventually. Me personally, I would learn dark magic. It’s possible to hire a dark magician, but he could turn on you. So, then I will erect a massive tower, with only one entrance. This entrance will be sealed by a super powerful dark barrier, which can only be broken by gathering the eight artifacts of light. These artifacts, which I would steal from the temple of light beforehand, are to be scattered around the world and hidden in eight different dungeons. Each item shall reside in the bottom of the dungeon, and will be guarded by a special “boss” monster. The boss monster shall be locked inside the artifact room with a special key. This special key can only be obtained by using a special item, which in turn can only be found in the temple by solving a series of puzzles and defeating various minions. If any adventurer comes along and starts gathering artifacts, then I’ll use my magic to send him (or her), to the future or past, or cause massive shrinkage, or kidnap his or her SO, or partially destroy the world, or some combination of the above. IF the adventurer succeeds after all this and manages to climb to the top of my dark tower where the valuables are being kept, then I’ll teleport the treasure to my actual secret hiding place and force the adventurer to fight a phantom version of myself. Of course, there is one more safety step. If the adventurer then proceeds to defeat my phantom and discover my true hiding place, then I’d have no choice but to transform into my perfect form, thus ensuring GG NO RE. Game Over. The End. * * * So, whaddaya think? ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2008, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-you-hide-10-million-in-cash-jewels/457553/54 "2008-07-25T19:53:44Z")
[QUOTE=elfkin477] Inside frozen turkeys. I bet no one looking for treasure while searching through a home thinks to themselves “well, it wasn’t in the safe, now let’s look in the frozen turkeys.” Ever. [/QUOTE] But now they will… ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2008, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-you-hide-10-million-in-cash-jewels/457553/55 "2008-07-25T20:05:43Z")
I’d mail it to me, because I’m a very responsible person. Anyone else in this thread that wants to take advantage of this super-secure method of stashing, PM me for my address. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2008, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-you-hide-10-million-in-cash-jewels/457553/56 "2008-07-25T23:57:21Z")
[QUOTE=Tastes of Chocolate] How about casting them as gaming miniatures. I’ve seen them range from historic to science fiction to fantasy. Some of the pieces can be quite sizable, and it’s expected that you will paint them, which nicely hides the gold. [This site](http://eurekamin.com.au/faq.php#11) has an interesting selection. [/QUOTE] I’ll say it again, with some numbers Metal- -Density (kg/m[sup]3[/sup] Bronze 8000 Cast Iron 7500 Nickel Silver 8500 Lead 11340 Gold 19320 Platinum 21400 Plutonium 19800 Gold is almost twice the density of lead and nearly three times the density of bronze. People will notice, almost as soon as they pick it up. Plus, it will be softer than almost any other metal. And you would need an awful lot of miniatures. Si ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2008, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-you-hide-10-million-in-cash-jewels/457553/57 "2008-07-26T02:45:23Z")
I’ve learned from fraternizing with really bad alcoholics and other desperate druggies that there is no substitute for a good safe. They’ll break open the turkey, dig up your yard, and pull diamonds out of your girlie bits without even getting warmed up. There’s no such thing as a safe hiding place from someone who’s really determined. ---
**Author:** ![medstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f07891/32.png) [@medstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/medstar)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2008, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-you-hide-10-million-in-cash-jewels/457553/58 "2008-07-26T03:15:12Z")
Maybe you could exchange your windfall for the equivalent in uncut diamonds and other suitable precious stones and put them into an elaborate aquarium. With any luck at all, most attention will be paid to the fish in this scenario and you could retrieve the stones at your leisure. Hope this helps. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2008, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-you-hide-10-million-in-cash-jewels/457553/59 "2008-07-26T04:08:52Z")
[QUOTE=medstar] Maybe you could exchange your windfall for the equivalent in uncut diamonds and other suitable precious stones and put them into an elaborate aquarium. With any luck at all, most attention will be paid to the fish in this scenario and you could retrieve the stones at your leisure. Hope this helps. [/QUOTE] Not if George Clooney gets wind of it. I think anything that’s been featured as a movie’s plot device can be safely dismissed as an idea here. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2008, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-you-hide-10-million-in-cash-jewels/457553/60 "2008-07-26T04:12:20Z")
But videogame plots are fair game! woohoo! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-you-hide-10-million-in-cash-jewels/457553.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/where-would-you-hide-10-million-in-cash-jewels/457553.md?page=4)