What if they involve your best girlfriend?
How is that any different? My husband is no more likely to cheat with a girl I know than he is to sleep with [hot celebrity babe.]
::comes into thread to advise psychiatrically incarcerated heterosexuals on how & where to hook up with one anothe online::
Oh. Sorry…
But wouldn’t it bother you to know that he has fantasies about someone you know, who is very close to you (and probably him, too)? I know fantasies are not reality, and he is no more likely to act on one of a close friend than a distant celebrity, but he certainly has more opportunity with a close friend.
I don’t actually know what my response to that would be. I don’t believe I’ve thought of it before.
Personally, I find the idea of fantasies of known people a lot less disturbing than fantasies involving distant celebrities; they strike me as more likely to involve both respect for the person involved and knowledge of how to actually deal with them, rather than just pinning a face and some mannerisms on a mental blowup doll …
(I’m not, personally, wired in a way that allows for fantasising about real people without some level of granted consent, so my gut reactions are a bit askew of a lot of folks’.)
Hubby and I used to be friends with one of his co-workers. She was an absolutely gorgeous woman, confident, smart and funny. Honestly, I’d be surprised if he didn’t think about her in “that way” on occasion. It’s a normal, human, male reaction. But never once did I worry that it might cross any lines, that he might act on his attraction. I trust him completely because we’re so open with one another.
That makes sense to me - it’s sort of like fanfic. I have no problem with fanfic of fictional characters, but fanfic of real life people doesn’t seem quite right to me.
I get what you’re saying, too, Lissa. My husband has a bit of a wandering eye, but if I was going to bust his chops every time I saw him watching a pretty girl walk by, we’d never have any time for the hot, monkey lovin’. 
He doesn’t stare or drool or make obscene comments or anything like that; he just notices and appreciates. What I’m trying to say to agree with what you said is that yes, men do have normal responses to other women that don’t have anything at all to do with infidelity.