# Where's this week's MMP? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [March 28, 2005, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wheres-this-weeks-mmp/296612 "2005-03-28T15:26:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![taxi78cab](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47c2d/32.png) [@taxi78cab](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taxi78cab)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wheres-this-weeks-mmp/296612/181 "2005-04-01T15:51:39Z")
Since it’s starting to look vaguely spring-like around here - buds on the maple trees and the weeping willows are turning slightly yellow-ish - I decided to buy myself rollerblades last night. I borrowed a pair from a friend last summer and really want to have my own this year instead. So now I just need some nice weather so I can get out and use them. Woo! **Taters** , I know the guilty-for-not-working feeling. I get that all the time. I wish there were more work to do so I’d be busy. Not \*too \*much work though. TaxiDriver has the opposite problem: too much work and not enough time or enough coworkers to help with it. That sucks too. But I do hate being bored and unproductive at work. Any good ideas for April Fools’ jokes for work? I though about taping up people’s mouse balls \ so their (computer) mice wouldn’t work, but then they’d call the IT guy and he’s off today so I don’t want to do that to him. He doesn’t like me all that much and I don’t want to make it worse. I need inspiration. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wheres-this-weeks-mmp/296612/182 "2005-04-01T15:53:02Z")
> [@Rue DeDay](#): > > Bad news people. > > This morning? I went out to get the paper? And the paper delivery person? They didn’t throw it all the way up to my driveway? So. I had to go all the way out into the street? To get the newspaper? Which I really don’t read all that thouroughly? But I usually read the funnies? Which generally aren’t all that funny? Anyway. I went into the street to get my paper? And I didn’t look both ways? And this truck came down the street? And it ran me over. > > I’m dead now. Not needing to worry about winter coats ever again, eh? ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wheres-this-weeks-mmp/296612/183 "2005-04-01T15:58:25Z")
> [@taxi78cab](#): > > Any good ideas for April Fools’ jokes for work? Got any superglue? It’s tons of fun in the office. You can glue caps on pens (unless they use retractable pens–then it’s a little bit more difficult). Set their wallpaper to something naughty. When they go to the bathroom, subtly rearrange stuff on their desks. It drives people nuts when they can tell things are different, but they’re not sure how. ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wheres-this-weeks-mmp/296612/184 "2005-04-01T16:04:18Z")
If I wasn’t all dead and stuff, I’d have a scathing reply for you **Bob**. You could take the phone cords out of the phone base and the handset and _turn it around_ **Taxi**. Think of everyone answering their phones and it sounds all _backwards_! :eek: 😕 😛😃😉 ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wheres-this-weeks-mmp/296612/185 "2005-04-01T16:48:29Z")
> [@Rue DeDay](#): > > **If I wasn’t all dead and stuff** (emphasis mine), I’d have a scathing reply for you **Bob**. I considered posting some tasteless comments about feeding tubes and asking **rue** to blink when we picked the right letter so he could still write the MMP, but then I considered my rapidly accelerating decline into hell so I decided not to. :eek: I’m bored, too, \*\*taxi. But I’m even too bored for April Fools jokes. Hmmmmmm… ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wheres-this-weeks-mmp/296612/186 "2005-04-01T17:07:34Z")
> [@dangergene](#): > > um, **Kythereia** , if **Sean** and I are taking the goat roles in the MMP school playtm, and you’ve granted **Tuppy** the boon of ‘undying and fiery passion’ for said goat, well… shouldn’t we get some say in all this? > > Not that I’m denying **Tuppy** ’s ‘undying and fiery passion’ or nuttin’. I’m just saying is all. Well, I did mean the actual goat, but if you want to sub in for **Tupug** ’s… amorous activities… **Tupug** : Just you wait, darling. Just you wait. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wheres-this-weeks-mmp/296612/187 "2005-04-01T18:27:47Z")
I decided to come home early today. I’m about to go out and rake a little before the rains come. Just in case anyone was wondering. Yeah, yeah, I know… but a Mom can dream. No big. ---
**Author:** ![susan\_foster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@susan\_foster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan_foster)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wheres-this-weeks-mmp/296612/188 "2005-04-01T18:37:55Z")
Tell me today is just a huge, elaborate practical joke. I am begging you - please! Just being a little overdramatic there - work is a pain in the butt today - boss out, so of course, chaos occurs. But it’s Friday - that’s all that matters. It’s Friday. Susan ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wheres-this-weeks-mmp/296612/189 "2005-04-01T18:38:49Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I decided to come home early today. I’m about to go out and rake a little before the rains come. Just in case anyone was wondering. > > Yeah, yeah, I know… but a Mom can dream. > > No big. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! When I read this, I thought you said “before the raisins come.” Now, there was a mental picture. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wheres-this-weeks-mmp/296612/190 "2005-04-01T19:08:18Z")
**Lissla** prayers and good thoughts headed to the 'rents dog. Hope the little critter gets ok. **Rue** are you now undead? If we post in the MMP will you eat our brains? Are you now **Unca Rue Zombie Guy**? I got to spend two hours at WallyWorld this morning cause there was a roofing nail in the left front tire of my truck. See, I bought the tires there so ifn I take my truck to WallyWorld I get stuff like that fixed free plus they will rotate and balance the tires for free. So will Sears but WallyWorld had the better tire price at the time. Did I mention I’m cheap? The weather here is **ick!ick! ick!** So, I’ma gonna goof off the rest of the afternoon at work. I don’t feel like doin’ nuttin’ so I ain’t gonna do nuttin’ and nobody can make me do nuttin’. SO THERE! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wheres-this-weeks-mmp/296612/191 "2005-04-01T19:18:41Z")
I’ve got my anti-zombie helmet on, so I’m safe from **Rue** ’s new eating habits. And I won’t ever take it off. Kinda like the Bandit and his cowboy hat. So we’ve had two reports of nails in the front tires this week in the MMP, one bike and one truck. I think we need to be more worried anbout vicious nails than zombies. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wheres-this-weeks-mmp/296612/192 "2005-04-01T19:58:00Z")
> [@Sean Factotum](#): > > I’ve got my anti-zombie helmet on, so I’m safe from **Rue** ’s new eating habits. And I won’t ever take it off. Kinda like the Bandit and his cowboy hat. > > So we’ve had two reports of nails in the front tires this week in the MMP, one bike and one truck. I think we need to be more worried anbout vicious nails than zombies. Vicious Zombie Nails would be a great name for a rock band. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wheres-this-weeks-mmp/296612/193 "2005-04-01T20:03:55Z")
Hey, **swampy** - you and my sweetie are in the same state at the same time! Or you were - I expect he’s in FlaDUH by now - he was approaching Brunswick about half an hour ago. All you FloriDopers, wave as the dark grey Jetta TDI goes zooming past enroute to Ocala this afternoon. He’ll be zooming over to Orlando tomorrow. I think Vicious Zombie Nails would be an even cooler name for a string quartet. Or a brass ensemble. Or an A Capella Choir. OK, I’ll be quiet now. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wheres-this-weeks-mmp/296612/194 "2005-04-01T20:11:47Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Hey, **swampy** - you and my sweetie are in the same state at the same time! Or you were - I expect he’s in FlaDUH by now - he was approaching Brunswick about half an hour ago. All you FloriDopers, wave as the dark grey Jetta TDI goes zooming past enroute to Ocala this afternoon. He’ll be zooming over to Orlando tomorrow. > > I think Vicious Zombie Nails would be an even cooler name for a string quartet. Or a brass ensemble. Or an A Capella Choir. > > OK, I’ll be quiet now. But not so much for say a Southern Gospel Quartet. Though it might work for a touring Opera company. ---
**Author:** ![taxi78cab](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47c2d/32.png) [@taxi78cab](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taxi78cab)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wheres-this-weeks-mmp/296612/195 "2005-04-01T20:31:52Z")
Boy, I’m bored. It turned sunny out, and it’s Friday, so all the brokers took off. (They’re paid on commission, not salary so they can work whatever hours they want… or not.) So there isn’t even anyone here to play practical jokes on. Thank Og for the SDMB to kill time. ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wheres-this-weeks-mmp/296612/196 "2005-04-01T21:36:01Z")
Well, the office move occurred and somehow I cannot access a database repository I need. I don’t dare enter the password the third time because it will lock me out. I’ll call them on Monday. I took off at 11:30 to pick up the boy child from school because he returned from 6th Grade Camp (required science unit in our district’s 6th grade). His pants and boots were mud covered and his voice is extremely hoarse, but he’s none the worse for the wear. He had fun, except for the stinky boy he had to sit next on the bus. Said Stink Boy was also very annoying to my boy child. As soon as my son saw me he gave me a big hug and said, “Let’s go home”! It’s unusual for a 12 yr old boy to hug his mom in public; and no, he’s not a mama’s boy. So, I’m home now. I’m washing dirty clothes and killin’ time on the Straight Dope. The son is starting to nod off at the computer. I think he needs a nap. ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wheres-this-weeks-mmp/296612/197 "2005-04-01T21:57:09Z")
Brains! Braaaaaaaaiins!! Braaaaaaaaaaiiiins!!! ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wheres-this-weeks-mmp/296612/198 "2005-04-01T22:21:05Z")
Someone get **Rue** some nice pork brains in gravy or something. Bad news about the dog- he has cancer in his neck. It’s inoperable, and my parents have been told to make him comfortable for the next few days. This will break my Mom’s heart. He’s their ‘last dog’, since Dad’s 73, and if they get another one, it could live for 10-15 years. I’m going to go over and see him maybe tonight. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wheres-this-weeks-mmp/296612/199 "2005-04-01T22:26:38Z")
Hi, **ZombieRue!** I’m glad that death thing isn’t holding you back much. > [@Rue DeDay](#): > > Brains! Braaaaaaaaiins!! Braaaaaaaaaaiiiins!!! I got brains! On my desk! It’s a brain stress ball. I like to squeeze it and say “Braaaiiins! Gooey, squishy braaaaiiins!” I think this is why my officemate doesn’t like me very much. She looks at me funny sometimes. I bet she has a nice, big, juicy brain. **ZombieRue** , if you want to come over to my office, maybe I can set you up with some nice brains. **Lissla,** sorry to hear about your doggie. ☹ (I’m not going to say “poochie,” because I just found out that has a very different meaning. It’s in the pit, and I’d link to it but I don’t have time right now). I’m sure he knows how loved he is, and his last days will be happy. Give him some nose scritchies for me tonight. ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wheres-this-weeks-mmp/296612/200 "2005-04-01T23:02:34Z")
Random responses after my quick read-through: Sorry about the puppy, **Lissla**. Hope there’s some way that your parents can fill the void once he’s gone. It made me especially sad to hear that he’s their last dog. From somewhere back there, I owe **gene** a “you’re welcome.” Probably too late for April Fool’s joke suggestions (also my brain is too tired to think one up). I have brains on my desk too, in case anyone’s interested (maybe that’s actually what’s keeping me from coming up with a April Fool’s joke…). **Rue** , glad you’re still around despite your demise. Happy weekend, everyone (sounds like everyone needs one…)! GT [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wheres-this-weeks-mmp/296612.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wheres-this-weeks-mmp/296612.md?page=11)