# Which animal would take down 4 humans the quickest? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 9, 2015, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animal-would-take-down-4-humans-the-quickest/719612 "2015-05-09T09:31:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2015, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animal-would-take-down-4-humans-the-quickest/719612/1 "2015-05-09T09:31:14Z")
A spin off of [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=18351933&) thread and **Baker** ’s comments. Let’s say we’re at the Colosseum in ancient Rome and four men are attacking one animal - no matter how suicidal the odds. They’re unarmed, of average build. Which animal would you say could incapacitate, maim and otherwise render insensible the humans in the fastest time? You may laugh but I say the hippo. It kills more people in Africa than any other mammal, those [jaws](http://www.adventurecampstz.com/images/guestimages/LeoCeriotti/hippo-jaws_sm.jpg) can easily kill and the men have no chance to hurt it through that hide and blubber. Anyway, that’s just my opinion man. What’s yours? ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2015, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animal-would-take-down-4-humans-the-quickest/719612/2 "2015-05-09T10:20:39Z")
Assuming the arena is flooded, I’ll go for a Great White shark. With the hippo and a dry arena, the men can run away until the hippo is exhausted. But really, an unarmed man is dead meat against pretty much any attacking megafauna. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2015, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animal-would-take-down-4-humans-the-quickest/719612/3 "2015-05-09T10:34:02Z")
If you want “quickest” then surely the answer is one of the big cats, a lion or tiger? Fast, strong, and importantly they have the temperament to actually go after the four men, unlike the shark who will waste time floating around. A Hippo might be strong and narky, but I’d still be more scared of a tiger in this situation. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2015, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animal-would-take-down-4-humans-the-quickest/719612/4 "2015-05-09T11:45:47Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > Assuming the arena is flooded, I’ll go for a Great White shark. With the hippo and a dry arena, the men can run away until the hippo is exhausted. Dry arena, should have specified. Hippos can [haul ass](http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/08/24/article-1208479-06277461000005DC-34_634x286.jpg) even on dry land, though. > [@bucketybuck](#): > > If you want “quickest” then surely the answer is one of the big cats, a lion or tiger? Thought about that but I think the hide and fat of the hippo renders it invulnerable against an unarmed human, whereas you might get a very lucky boot in against a tiger. ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2015, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animal-would-take-down-4-humans-the-quickest/719612/5 "2015-05-09T13:42:22Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#): > > Hippos can [haul ass](http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/08/24/article-1208479-06277461000005DC-34_634x286.jpg) even on dry land, though. Your link clearly shows a 3-legged hippo - surely not the best candidate. I’d be inclined to go with a large bear - grizzly or polar. These can run very fast (~35 mph) and easily maim or kill with a single swipe of a paw. Nothing an unarmed human can do would have the least effect here. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2015, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animal-would-take-down-4-humans-the-quickest/719612/6 "2015-05-09T13:44:13Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#): > > Dry arena, should have specified. Hippos can [haul ass](http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/08/24/article-1208479-06277461000005DC-34_634x286.jpg) even on dry land, though. > Thought about that but I think the hide and fat of the hippo renders it invulnerable against an unarmed human, whereas you might get a very lucky boot in against a tiger. Assuming that these unarmed average build men aren’t super trained assassins, I don’t think there’s going to be a lucky boot going on against a tiger. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2015, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animal-would-take-down-4-humans-the-quickest/719612/7 "2015-05-09T13:47:17Z")
Tiger. Not Tigger, not Detroit Tigers. Tiger. My vote. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2015, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animal-would-take-down-4-humans-the-quickest/719612/8 "2015-05-09T14:14:15Z")
Hippo was my immediate answer, as well. Jill wrote a staff report [about hippos](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1862/are-hippos-the-most-dangerous-animal). She doesn’t give a definitive answer re: Hippos vs tigers, but they’re clearly more dangerous than lions. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2015, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animal-would-take-down-4-humans-the-quickest/719612/9 "2015-05-09T14:21:07Z")
Why are these men attacking the animal, and not trying to avoid agitating it?.. Fastest kill of all four? Maybe the bear, who swipes with his paw and is ready to swipe again quickly. Lions tend to strangle their prey, less effective against multiple targets. Tiger? Dunno, my housecat kills extremely fast by breaking the neck of her prey. If some large cat does that, it might be fastest. Bears, like hippos, are effectively armored with long, thick fur as well as fat. The only parts you could hurt bare handed would be the eyes, and possible the nose. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2015, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animal-would-take-down-4-humans-the-quickest/719612/10 "2015-05-09T14:23:29Z")
Nm ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2015, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animal-would-take-down-4-humans-the-quickest/719612/11 "2015-05-09T14:25:24Z")
Tyrannosaurus rex. Or failing that, an African elephant, assuming it’s somehow motivated to kill the humans. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2015, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animal-would-take-down-4-humans-the-quickest/719612/12 "2015-05-09T15:55:13Z")
> [@Xema](#): > > Your link clearly shows a 3-legged hippo - surely not the best candidate. > > I’d be inclined to go with a large bear - grizzly or polar. These can run very fast (~35 mph) and easily maim or kill with a single swipe of a paw. **Nothing an unarmed human can do would have the least effect here.** Bold mine There is one thing that a person can do that might work against a bear, play dead, that is not a great strategy for a cat however. But some cats do have comparable strength to a human and 4 men could conceivably take one down, not sure of what type of cats Caesar uses. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2015, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animal-would-take-down-4-humans-the-quickest/719612/13 "2015-05-09T17:34:05Z")
The Kraken. Instant, simultaneous death to all! ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2015, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animal-would-take-down-4-humans-the-quickest/719612/14 "2015-05-09T18:02:56Z")
A **skunk** would incapacitate pretty quickly … but if you want death, go for a **honey badger**. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2015, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animal-would-take-down-4-humans-the-quickest/719612/15 "2015-05-09T18:10:39Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#): > > Thought about that but I think the hide and fat of the hippo renders it invulnerable against an unarmed human, whereas you might get a very lucky boot in against a tiger. I think the average man couldn’t meaningfully hurt a full grown tiger with a kick even if the tiger promised to just stand there and give the guy a few free swings. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2015, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animal-would-take-down-4-humans-the-quickest/719612/16 "2015-05-09T19:32:50Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > I think the average man couldn’t meaningfully hurt a full grown tiger with a kick even if the tiger promised to just stand there and give the guy a few free swings. Probably not, but if it were for lack of a better term, bumrushed, the men might get a very lucky shot in while it mauls one of them. > [@puzzlegal](#): > > Why are these men attacking the animal, and not trying to avoid agitating it?.. _Ave, Imperator, morituri te salutant!_ ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2015, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animal-would-take-down-4-humans-the-quickest/719612/17 "2015-05-09T19:37:19Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Tyrannosaurus rex. Or failing that, an African elephant, assuming it’s somehow motivated to kill the humans. Figures a bloke named **Chronos** would think of a time-travel solution! But, yeah, the elephant. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2015, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animal-would-take-down-4-humans-the-quickest/719612/18 "2015-05-09T20:20:26Z")
Big bear. Polar or brown. ---
**Author:** ![DinoR](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dinor/32/2821_2.png) [@DinoR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DinoR)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2015, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animal-would-take-down-4-humans-the-quickest/719612/19 "2015-05-09T22:36:09Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > But, yeah, the elephant. Make it a trained and armed war elephant for good measure. Just because the men are unarmed doesn’t mean the elephant can’t have a sword. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2015, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animal-would-take-down-4-humans-the-quickest/719612/20 "2015-05-09T22:50:31Z")
Some of the smaller cats have been killed 1v1. I think mostly by jamming an arm down its throat and choking it. I’m going human with a flamethrower. You never said the animal had to be unarmed. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animal-would-take-down-4-humans-the-quickest/719612.md?page=2)