# Which animals are evil, which animals are good? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 14, 2005, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animals-are-evil-which-animals-are-good/308230 "2005-06-14T16:13:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2005, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animals-are-evil-which-animals-are-good/308230/81 "2005-06-15T18:59:02Z")
> [@Anne Neville](#): > > Bears are good. > > Ligers are good. > > I guess if tigers and ligers are good, that probably implies that lions are good, unless goodness is a dominant trait. (Do you think it’s dominant or recessive?) > > Horses and mules are good. Ligers and Tigons and Bears! OH MY! ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2005, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animals-are-evil-which-animals-are-good/308230/82 "2005-06-15T19:02:25Z")
Trouser snakes are good. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2005, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animals-are-evil-which-animals-are-good/308230/83 "2005-06-15T19:08:56Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > Okay, here’s a tough one: > > Ostriches. Good or evil? > > They’re a bird, which counts on the good side. > > But they’re awfully damn cranky and can kill a dude with a single gut-gouging kick. Does cranky by itself tip over to the evil side? I think we can agree wolverines are evil. > > And yet they’re just so goofy-lookin’. > > So: Ostriches? Evil. I was at the zoo one time when a big male attacked its keeper. he barely made it over the fence, and the bird almost caught him. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2005, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animals-are-evil-which-animals-are-good/308230/84 "2005-06-15T20:24:29Z")
Some birds good, some birds evil. Bluejays and mockingbirds are evil. They torment my pets. Cardinals, good. Bears, good. Lyle Lovett has a wonderful song, [“Bears.”](http://www.lyricsfreak.com/l/lyle-lovett/85997.html) I wish I could quote all the lyrics. > [@](#): > > So meet a bear and take him out to lunch with you > And even though your friends may stop and stare > Just remember that’s a bear there in the bunch with you > And they just don’t come no better than a bear Ostriches, evil. One of the funniest things I’ve seen is a scene in the movie “Animals are Beautiful People” where a native in a pitiful ostrich disguise attempts to steal an ostrich egg from the nest. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2005, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animals-are-evil-which-animals-are-good/308230/85 "2005-06-15T20:43:40Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Colibri, professional trochilidologist. Gesundheit! Octopus: good Squid: evil Cobra: evil Mongoose: good Angelfish: good Devilfish: evil Clownfish: varies Jesus Lizard: good Judas Goat: evil Banana Slug: good Sea Cucumber: evil ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2005, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animals-are-evil-which-animals-are-good/308230/86 "2005-06-15T20:52:39Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > Eohippus Sad to say, _Eohippus_ is no longer with us. He is now known by the name _Hyracotherium_, which I guess means “bunny beast” or something. The fact that he was traveliing under an alias for all these years makes him unabashedly evil. That and the fact that they have a tendency to lure cowboys into lost valleys, where they can be eaten by dinosaurs. Among prehistoric evil creatures, you’d have to include the mosasaurs and plesiosaurs. Ichthyosaurs, while also being aquatic reptiles, are good, however. They’re not sea monsters like the other two groups. Though they are deceptive, in that they look too much like fish. Speaking of deceptive, Apatosaurus is evil. Not only does the name implicate him in being deceptive, but the name itself is deceptive in that the reason he was initially deemed to be deceptive really didn’t apply. A web of lies that tangled can only point to the unholy spawn of Satan himself. That and he usurped a perfectly good name by rules-lawyering, and lawyers are, of course, evil. Other good/evil pairs: Edaphasaurus = good, dimetrodon = evil. Ouranosaurus = good, Spinosaurus = evil. Jerusalem crickets are evil. Finches, naturally, are good. Unless they’re vampire finches. Then they’re just cool. ---
**Author:** ![caveman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/caveman/32/7242_2.png) [@caveman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caveman)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2005, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animals-are-evil-which-animals-are-good/308230/87 "2005-06-15T20:56:00Z")
[QUOTE=Lemur866] Many extinct animals are are also either evil or good. QUOTE] In the same vein, the Great Auk was Good, while the Moa was certainly Evil. ---
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2005, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animals-are-evil-which-animals-are-good/308230/88 "2005-06-15T21:02:36Z")
Nobody’s mentioned swans yet? Definitely evil. As are the geese with the exterior brain bulges… ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2005, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animals-are-evil-which-animals-are-good/308230/89 "2005-06-15T21:18:15Z")
> [@Darwin's Finch](#): > > Sad to say, _Eohippus_ is no longer with us. He is now known by the name _Hyracotherium_, which I guess means “bunny beast” or something. The fact that he was traveliing under an alias for all these years makes him unabashedly evil. That and the fact that they have a tendency to lure cowboys into lost valleys, where they can be eaten by dinosaurs. _Hyracotherium_ means “hyrax beast”. But this creature is one of the few extinct animals that have common names. Eohippus is just the english common name for _Hyracotherium_, just like “wolf” is the common name for _Canis lupus_. I’m gonna give ol’ Eohippus a pass on the name thing. But you have a point about luring with intent. Everybody has to save the poor Eohippus, and then you get separated from the group, and next thing you know the Hyaenodons are cracking open your skull. I’m particularly thinking of the cover of Anne McCaffery’s “Dinosaur Planet” here. Although she had the mistaken idea that pterodactyls are good just because those particular pterodactyls had golden “fur”. No, pterodactyls are just plain evil, ask David Innes. > [@](#): > > Among prehistoric evil creatures, you’d have to include the mosasaurs and plesiosaurs. Ichthyosaurs, while also being aquatic reptiles, are good, however. They’re not sea monsters like the other two groups. Though they are deceptive, in that they look too much like fish. Yes, but what about those huge staring eyes? And those teeth? No, Ichthyosaurs are evil, especially 18th century Ichthyosaurs when they still crawled on land. Dolphins good, Ichthyosaurs evil. Ammonites are on the side of good with their cousin octopodes and are not evil like the squids. The more fluted an ammonite’s shell is, the more good it is. ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2005, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animals-are-evil-which-animals-are-good/308230/90 "2005-06-15T22:00:00Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > _Hyracotherium_ means “hyrax beast”. Yeah, but a hyrax looks like a bunny with hooves. A short-eared bunny with hooves. A short-eared bunny with hooves that’s more closely related to elephants than bunnies. That’s just wrong. > [@Lemur866](#): > > Yes, but what about those huge staring eyes? And those teeth? No, Ichthyosaurs are evil, especially 18th century Ichthyosaurs when they still crawled on land. Good point. Land-crawling, huge-staring-eye-having, ichthyosaurs _are_ evil. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2005, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animals-are-evil-which-animals-are-good/308230/91 "2005-06-15T22:28:24Z")
> [@Darwin's Finch](#): > > That and he usurped a perfectly good name by rules-lawyering, and lawyers are, of course, evil. Lawyer Bird (_Revicurvirostra americana_): evil Secretary Bird (_Sagittarius serpentarius_): even more evil ---
**Author:** ![Bomzaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e480ec/32.png) [@Bomzaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bomzaway)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2005, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animals-are-evil-which-animals-are-good/308230/92 "2005-06-15T22:45:18Z")
Those ugly deep sea fish with the big teeth and the glow-in-the-dark thing dangling over their head, they’re evil. British Bull Terriers (see Spuds Makenzie), although not necessarily evil, cannot be trusted. Nothing with beady little eyes like that can be trusted. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2005, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animals-are-evil-which-animals-are-good/308230/93 "2005-06-15T22:59:57Z")
> [@Bomzaway](#): > > Those ugly deep sea fish with the big teeth and the glow-in-the-dark thing dangling over their head, they’re evil. Anglerfish! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hoops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoops/32/6408_2.png) [@Hoops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoops)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animals-are-evil-which-animals-are-good/308230/94 "2005-06-16T01:31:42Z")
The giant isopod. Good or evil, good or evil . . . hmmmmn . . . [Whaddaya think?](http://www.bio.pdx.edu/people/images/isopod.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animals-are-evil-which-animals-are-good/308230/95 "2005-06-16T01:34:08Z")
It all depends: How does it taste? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animals-are-evil-which-animals-are-good/308230/96 "2005-06-16T01:43:36Z")
Let us refer to the seminar work of the respected zoologists, Simon & Garfunkel: The monkeys stand for honesty, Giraffes are insincere, And the elephants are kindly but They’re dumb. Orangutans are skeptical Of changes in their cages, And the zookeeper is very fond of rum. Zebras are reactionaries, Antelopes are missionaries, Pigeons plot in secrecy, And hamsters turn on frequently. Or the summary opinion of George Orwell: Four legs **good** two legs **bad** ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animals-are-evil-which-animals-are-good/308230/97 "2005-06-16T03:29:15Z")
> [@Hoops](#): > > The giant isopod. > > Good or evil, good or evil . . . hmmmmn . . . > > [Whaddaya think?](http://www.bio.pdx.edu/people/images/isopod.jpg) Definitely cold, heartless evil. We’re talking “evil cyborg sent back from the future to enslave mankind.” I mean, look at the eyes! I’m sure they even glow red. With a battle-hardened carapace and who knows what gruesome killamajigs hiding under there, it’s bad news, with a capital BAD NEWS. That and it’s got entirely too many legs to be wholesome. Speaking of which: bugs in general are all evil. Just ask Danny Elfman: > [@](#): > > They don’t have blood, > they’ve got too many legs, > they don’t have brains in their heads. > They’re going to rule the world someday, > they bite and sting me, anyway! > They bite and sting and _suck_! ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animals-are-evil-which-animals-are-good/308230/98 "2005-06-16T06:00:09Z")
Honeybees - good Wasps - evil ---
**Author:** ![Hoops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoops/32/6408_2.png) [@Hoops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoops)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animals-are-evil-which-animals-are-good/308230/99 "2005-06-16T07:25:31Z")
> [@Darwin's Finch](#): > > . . . bugs in general are all evil. Just ask Danny Elfman . . . On the other hand, they do seem to make him want to dance. Which could be a positive thing. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2005, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animals-are-evil-which-animals-are-good/308230/100 "2005-06-16T10:18:40Z")
> [@Hoops](#): > > The giant isopod. > > Good or evil, good or evil . . . hmmmmn . . . > > [Whaddaya think?](http://www.bio.pdx.edu/people/images/isopod.jpg) Wow…Godzilla has fleas. Who’d thunk it? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animals-are-evil-which-animals-are-good/308230.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-animals-are-evil-which-animals-are-good/308230.md?page=6)