# Which assassin is baddest? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 29, 2003, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-assassin-is-baddest/171921 "2003-04-29T14:51:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-assassin-is-baddest/171921/1 "2003-04-29T14:51:45Z")
I’d say that it is, without question, Duke Togo a.k.a Golgo-13. He _always_ gets the job done. Doesn’t matter whether it’s in a movie, an anime, a manga, or a video game, Duke always makes the kill. Not only that, he also frequently has sex with women who have large, firm knobs. The Jackal? He’s a pussy. Leon? A pedophile and very unprofessional. Ghost dog? Strictly a poseur. Angel Eyes? Good, but still not in Duke’s league. Vincent Vega? Hell, he got killed on the toilet by a washed up boxer! No, when you need somebody killed absolutely and for sure, Golgo-13 is the only man for the job. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-assassin-is-baddest/171921/2 "2003-04-29T15:16:13Z")
Vlad Taltos (either before he had his crisis of conscience, or after he got better). I mean, the guy killed a being that was, essentially, a god. Actually, it was probably more powerful than most of the gods of his world. Prior to that, he had more than 40 kills to his credit. Most of those kills were creatures who were larger and stronger than Vlad, in a world without firearms. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-assassin-is-baddest/171921/3 "2003-04-29T15:20:32Z")
The Saint of Killers. Badassedest by definition. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-assassin-is-baddest/171921/4 "2003-04-29T15:23:47Z")
Teatime (pronounced tee-ah-tim-eh). ---
**Author:** ![Aro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b3f665/32.png) [@Aro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aro)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-assassin-is-baddest/171921/5 "2003-04-29T15:30:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scumpup \* > Duke always makes the kill. > Not only that, he also frequently has sex with women who have large, firm **knobs** Is there something about the women you know that you would like to share? 😉 I think Terminator 1 wins the assassin role-model of the Year award. He kicked the molten ass of Terminator 2. Might even beat Terminator 3 this summer! ---
**Author:** ![Umbriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9de053/32.png) [@Umbriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Umbriel)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-assassin-is-baddest/171921/6 "2003-04-29T16:16:34Z")
[Ivan Dragomiloff](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0064045) Master assassin and administrator, who, as we can only wish more conventional CEOs would do, purges his whole organization when he realizes how irredeemably corrupt it has become. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-assassin-is-baddest/171921/7 "2003-04-29T16:20:29Z")
Jerry Cornelius, the English Assassin. Maybe he’s a little Austin Powers, but if you kill him he just comes back at another point in time and finishes the job (unless you fall in love with him, in which case he might just sleep with you). He’s also the messiah of the scientific age, so God and the Vatican is usually on his side. Cheers, Bippy ---
**Author:** ![Optihut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/edb3f5/32.png) [@Optihut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Optihut)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-assassin-is-baddest/171921/8 "2003-04-29T17:22:34Z")
The crying Freeman would gut Golgo-13 😛 ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-assassin-is-baddest/171921/9 "2003-04-29T17:44:04Z")
Dell Ammo. He took a contract on God and collected. It doesn’t get any badder than that. ---
**Author:** ![Umbriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9de053/32.png) [@Umbriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Umbriel)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-assassin-is-baddest/171921/10 "2003-04-29T18:39:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by 2trew \* > \*\*Dell Ammo. He took a contract on God and collected. It doesn’t get any badder than that. \*\* I thought Nietzsche collected on that… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-assassin-is-baddest/171921/11 "2003-04-29T19:01:15Z")
Waylander’d kick all these guy’s asses, collectively. ---
**Author:** ![psiekier](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/psiekier/32/116_2.png) [@psiekier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psiekier)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-assassin-is-baddest/171921/12 "2003-04-29T19:31:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by 2trew \* > \*\*Dell Ammo. He took a contract on God and collected. It doesn’t get any badder than that. \*\* I thought that was **Lobo** , the Main Man… … wait, no… he had a contract on “Gawd.” Well, in [Warhammer 40,000](http://www.games-workshop.com/40kuniverse/40kuniverse.htm), there are four major temples:[ul][li]Vindicare - a shooty sniper armed with an armour-piercing needle rifle. The Vindicares wear stealth suits that make them virtually invisible and carry experimental ammunition allowing them to blow holes in forcefields, poison any living thing, and pentrate armoured vehicles.[_]Callidus - the master (or should that be “mistress?”) of disguise. Callidus Assassins are trained to use Polymorphine, a dangerous drug which allows them to alter their bodies’ appearance. They can disguise themselves as just about anything. The weaponry of the Callidus includes a “Neural Shredder” and the C’tan Phase Sword - an insubstantial blade that bypasses armour and force fields only to materialize inside the target![_]Eversor - the holy terror of hand-to-hand-combat. This guy gets my vote. The Eversor’s body is so pumped full of drugs that when his hearts stop beating, they set off a violent chain reaction that causes him to explode. His hightened reflexes allow him maximum use of his weapons - a poisoned Neuro-Gauntlet, a power sword, and a double-barrel combi-pistol which incorporates a short-range needle gun as well as a heavy-gauge bolt pistol that fires rocket-propelled armour-piercing ammunition.Culexus - an anti-psyker Pariah who fiendishly terrorizes even the bravest souls. The Culexii are an anomaly in that, unlike other humans, they have no psychic presence. Their weapon is the Animus Speculum, a device that sucks the life out of the enemy… very short range, though.[/ul]The other two, the Vanus and Venenum Assassins, are hardly worth mentioning, and the many Imperial Death Cult Assassins would never even stand a chance.[/li] BTW - how come nobody has mentioned **Scud, the Disposable Assassin**? ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-assassin-is-baddest/171921/13 "2003-04-29T19:57:30Z")
Damn you all. Naming badass assassins w/ badass resumes, but not telling what movies/comics/anime they’re from. Come on guys, 'fess up! (FWIW, Golgo-13 and Crying Freeman are the title characters for their respective series.) ---
**Author:** ![Zanshin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e274bd/32.png) [@Zanshin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zanshin)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-assassin-is-baddest/171921/14 "2003-04-29T20:11:24Z")
Another vote for Vlad Taltos (from the Steven Brust novels). Vlad just plain rocked. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-assassin-is-baddest/171921/15 "2003-04-29T20:22:19Z")
Man, Leon was not a pedophile. He was a total **Professional** badass who just happened to be fond of a 12-year-old girl. _pfft_ Details… ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-assassin-is-baddest/171921/16 "2003-04-29T21:11:41Z")
Waylander the Slayer is from David Gemmell’s Drenai books. Though Druss could kick anybody’s ass. ---
**Author:** ![Zanshin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e274bd/32.png) [@Zanshin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zanshin)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-assassin-is-baddest/171921/17 "2003-04-29T21:18:59Z")
Druss versus Waylander… now that’d be a neat matchup. Nah. Waylander would fire his double crossbow, Druss would eat both bolts (with some fava beans and a nice Chianti) and would then make kibble out of Waylander. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-assassin-is-baddest/171921/18 "2003-04-29T22:00:38Z")
Sorry **KKBatousai**. The Saint of Killers is from “Preacher” comics, in which he (major spoiler): Killed God and the entire heavenly host ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-assassin-is-baddest/171921/19 "2003-04-29T22:04:09Z")
The minute all of these chumps turn their backs, TZING, there goes Mr. 47 with the wire. From then on, he could be anyone. But he’s probably the one with the antitank rifle. 47 rules all. WSC, he simply garrotes the Saint of Killers and takes his pistols, then kills everyone. ---
**Author:** ![HoviBaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@HoviBaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoviBaby)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-assassin-is-baddest/171921/20 "2003-04-29T22:07:26Z")
Wesley from the Andrew Vachass Burke novels. Hands down, for a host of reasons that I am too tired to type right now. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-assassin-is-baddest/171921.md?page=2)