# Which dead celebrity would you most like to have boinked? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 2, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628 "2003-05-02T14:44:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/61 "2003-05-03T02:11:46Z")
Ooooh, I thought of three more silent-screen hotties I’d lift my veil for: [John Gilbert](http://silentgents.com/PGilbert1.html), [Max Linder](http://silentgents.com/PLinder.html) and [Doug Fairbanks](http://silentgents.com/PFair4.html) . . . ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/62 "2003-05-03T03:01:09Z")
Peter Lorre, sad crush since 12; Marlene Dietrich, sad crush til Now… ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/63 "2003-05-03T03:19:15Z")
The Empress Theodora (Justinian’s wife). No telling what tricks she knew… Christine de Pisan, just for the post-coital conversation. Lola Montez. Sarah Bernhardt. Mary Pickford. Katy Jurado. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/64 "2003-05-03T04:14:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DeVena \* > \*\*Glenn Miller, Hmmmmmm interesting… > > \*\* Plenty of Dopers are aware of my obsession with Mr. Miller. Clark Gable-no way. He had REALLY bad breath, from what I gather. ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/65 "2003-05-03T05:26:16Z")
Another man in line for Grace Kelly. The first time I saw _Rear Window_ on a big screen I nearly fainted. Or Natalie Wood, circa _West Side Story_. And I’m not gay, but then I’m not a necrophiliac, either, so in the interest of speculation: Cary Grant. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/66 "2003-05-03T07:51:55Z")
Marilyn Monroe, easily. Like wildebeasts, even. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tarragon918](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d26b3c/32.png) [@tarragon918](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tarragon918)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/67 "2003-05-03T13:44:39Z")
Very interesting thread! LOL Not many female responders, though… I shall try to help out with that. 🙂 William Holden or Robert Mitchum Mid-50s era for both, although frankly, both remained quite sexy later in life, IMHO. Remember Mitchum in \* The Winds of War \* and \* War and Remembrance \* ? Both actors exuded sexual energy, at least to me. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![green\_bladder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@green\_bladder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_bladder)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/68 "2003-05-03T14:07:28Z")
I don’t really have much knowledge dead celebrities nor have I watched many old movies but from what I do know, I’d fancy \*\* Marilyn Monroe. \*\* Yum. ---
**Author:** ![Short\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Short\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Short_Guy)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/69 "2003-05-03T14:46:24Z")
That’s a fantastic Yul Brynner gallery, **Arden Ranger**. I swear if I weren’t straight… I don’t know if I could find it in my heart to boink/do/make love to Grace Kelly. She’s such an esotheric beauty. Perhaps if the mood is just right… I second Sharon Tate. Definitely. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/70 "2003-05-03T15:32:25Z")
[Steve Reeves](http://www.briansdriveintheater.com/reeves/sreeves152.jpg) (Muscular men make me melt) [John Payne](http://www.briansdriveintheater.com/johnpayne.html) (You may remember him from the 1947 _Miracle on 34th St_.) And while he’s not dead, I would do [Clint Walker](http://www.briansdriveintheater.com/clintwalker/clintwalker2.jpg) as he was in the 1960s. ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMensch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@MonkeyMensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMensch)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/71 "2003-05-03T16:36:04Z")
Natalie Wood, Natalie Wood, and then Natalie Wood again. She’s got that Eastern European nasty going on. And \*\*Dewey, et al. \*\*she’d know how to use her fingers right! And I want to hang out with Gene Kelley. Shit, just the leftovers from the women going after those dark Irish looks would be enough to last a lifetime… ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/72 "2003-05-03T17:24:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by look!ninjas \* > \*\*Gene Kelly. _Damn._ \*\* Gene Kelly was one of the sexist men _ever_ on the silver screen. I once read a quote in which someone said: “Men wish they could _be_ Fred Astaire (because he’s so sauve), women want to _sleep with_ Gene Kelly.” So I’m with ya on that one! ---
**Author:** ![SnugTheJoiner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@SnugTheJoiner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnugTheJoiner)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/73 "2003-05-03T18:20:36Z")
Walter Pidgeon. ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/74 "2003-05-03T19:47:16Z")
Let me jump on the Ingrid Bergman, Rita Hayworth and oh my dear sweet gods Audrey Hepburn bandwagon, and make room for Jean Harlow as well. And since orgies should always be comprised of even numbers, I’ll add Rita Hayworth, Dorothy Lamour at the time of the “Road” movies and Judy Garland circa “Wizard”. What a yummy romper room all those would make… ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/75 "2003-05-03T22:52:53Z")
I’m not into necrophilia… Imagining y’all doing this is funny though. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/76 "2003-05-03T23:06:02Z")
Madeleine LeBeau - she played Rick’s ‘girlfriend’ Yvonne in _Casablanca_. I think she’s gorgeous. ---
**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/77 "2003-05-04T02:47:27Z")
**Grace Kelly**. I’d rear her window. ---
**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/78 "2003-05-04T04:05:15Z")
Rita Hayworth. Mmmm Rita gotta go find me a shovel 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/79 "2003-05-04T04:42:35Z")
Female here… Mark Lenard. Aside from the Star Trek roles, he was a classically trained stage actor. I met him once and the graceful carriage and dignified demeanor were real. He also had one of the most gorgeous voices ever to issue from a human being. ---
**Author:** ![Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c67d28/32.png) [@Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weird_AL_Einstein)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/80 "2003-05-04T05:03:01Z")
Another vote for Marilyn Monroe. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628.md?page=5)