# Which dead celebrity would you most like to have boinked? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 2, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628 "2003-05-02T14:44:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/81 "2003-05-04T07:48:21Z")
I can’t believe no one has nominated Elizabeth Taylor; especially during the _Cat On a Hot Tin Roof_ and _Butterfield 8_ era. Sweet jesus. Talullah Bankhead, for sure. Bettie Page, absolutely. Greta Garbo, because sometimes nothing is as sexy as a fragile woman (a la _Camille_). Theda Bara, just because. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/82 "2003-05-04T13:17:28Z")
Um, Elizabeth Taylor isn’t dead. I should have added Merle Oberon. And Maureen O’Sullivan. And Fay Wray. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/83 "2003-05-04T13:21:29Z")
> [@](#): > > Um, Elizabeth Taylor isn’t dead. Like the poster who cited Kate Hepburn…close enough. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![KidCharlemagne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@KidCharlemagne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KidCharlemagne)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/84 "2003-05-04T13:41:05Z")
No one can come close to Ava Gardner. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/85 "2003-05-04T14:18:38Z")
[Clara Bow](http://www.brightlightsfilm.com/27/27_images/precode4.jpg). The Platonic ideal of Dead Sexy. Yow. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/86 "2003-05-04T15:03:46Z")
Holy cow, am I really the first to mention [Louise Brooks](http://www.pandorasbox.com/louisebrooks/pix/portraits/risque/risque02.jpg)? Runners-up would also be the criminally unmentioned [Joan Blondell](http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Hills/2440/jb1.jpg), and [Vera-Ellen](http://www.gorilla.net/~mikeday/veraellen/images/Cheesecake/ccg48.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/87 "2003-05-04T15:21:54Z")
Bettie Page is still alive and presumably well, but she’d be first on my list if not. ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMensch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@MonkeyMensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMensch)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/88 "2003-05-04T15:42:21Z")
Oh, and for dessert after nailing Natalie Wood three times I do Paulette Goddard. Mmmmm. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/89 "2003-05-04T16:50:40Z")
Did I forget to mention Loretta Young and Claudette Colbert? ---
**Author:** ![Tusculan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecd19e/32.png) [@Tusculan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tusculan)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/90 "2003-05-04T18:38:00Z")
[Romy Schneider](http://home2.planetinternet.be/verjans/images/schneider1.jpg), when she was thirtieish. Marilyn Monroe ---
**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/91 "2003-05-04T19:50:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KidCharlemagne \* > \*\*No one can come close to Ava Gardner. \*\* Close to Ava Gardner? _All over her_, more likely. ---
**Author:** ![Baranlaith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@Baranlaith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baranlaith)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/92 "2003-05-04T20:01:35Z")
Another vote for Audrey Hepburn And Grace Kelly And Inger Stevens ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/93 "2003-05-04T20:15:15Z")
Another vote for Sharon Tate. ---
**Author:** ![jack\_ss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c77e96/32.png) [@jack\_ss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jack_ss)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/94 "2003-05-04T20:37:12Z")
[Ava Gardner](http://www.junglered.com/ava.html). ---
**Author:** ![rackensack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@rackensack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rackensack)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/95 "2003-05-05T04:30:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ArchiveGuy \* > \*\*Holy cow, am I really the first to mention [Louise Brooks](http://www.pandorasbox.com/louisebrooks/pix/portraits/risque/risque02.jpg)? > > \*\* You are, but only because the Mac downstairs crashed last night when I tried to post my nominations of Lulu and **Veronica Lake** , and I said the heck with it and went to bed. I’m not sure why I have this thing for Veronica Lake – she’s not my usual type (of which Louise Brooks is the ideal). ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/96 "2003-05-05T04:36:11Z")
Anybody take Natalie Wood yet? She was the most beautiful woman ever to grace the silver screen. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/97 "2003-05-05T06:12:43Z")
Lord, looks like I nominated a bunch of women who are still living. Sorry! ---
**Author:** ![Marvel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marvel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marvel)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/98 "2003-05-05T06:25:09Z")
John Lennon, cuz I bet he was interested in HER pleasure! James Dean looks good enough to eat! Sir Laurence Olivia (sp?), circa “Wuthering Heights” {SIGH! - spank me, you naughty, naughty boy!} Okay, I’m going to go pleasure myself now… Patty P.S. I was kidding about that last part. ---
**Author:** ![musicguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@musicguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/musicguy)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/99 "2003-05-05T06:43:12Z")
Got to throw my vote in for River Phoenix ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/100 "2003-05-10T18:38:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Marvel \* > \*\*P.S. I was kidding about that last part. \*\* What - the name’s NOT Patty? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628.md?page=6)