# Which dead celebrity would you most like to have boinked? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 2, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628 "2003-05-02T14:44:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Edwardina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Edwardina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edwardina)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/101 "2003-05-10T19:01:00Z")
Johnny Weissmuller, who starred in the Tarzan movies of the 1930’s-40’s. [http://us.imdb.com/Name?Weissmuller,%20Johnny](http://us.imdb.com/Name?Weissmuller,%20Johnny) ---
**Author:** ![UnwrittenNocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/6de8d8/32.png) [@UnwrittenNocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UnwrittenNocturne)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/102 "2003-05-12T19:15:21Z")
Clara Bow Audrey Hepburn Rita Hayworth Lauren Bacall Betty Page ---
**Author:** ![raygirvan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ac91a4/32.png) [@raygirvan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raygirvan)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/103 "2003-05-13T12:42:01Z")
Charlotte Coleman, Katrin Cartlidge, Elsa Lanchester (in Bride of Frankenstein era), Ava Gardner (in Showboat), Margaret Lockwood (Wicked Lady). ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/104 "2003-05-13T12:46:56Z")
Jayne Mansfield, pre-decapitation.[Yow.]([http://thebachelor.crosswinds.net/](http://thebachelor.crosswinds.net/) jm35.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/105 "2003-05-13T12:48:09Z")
GD F-ing link didn’t work. Google is your friend… ---
**Author:** ![Rocketeer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocketeer/32/4437_2.png) [@Rocketeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocketeer)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/106 "2003-05-13T14:03:00Z")
**Jane Russell**. Her [“Ain’t There Anyone Here for Love”](http://www.briansdriveintheater.com/cheesecake/janerussell/janerussell22.jpg) number in **Gentlemen Prefer Blondes** is the sexiest, sassiest thing I’ve ever seen on the screen. ---
**Author:** ![mmm.forbidden\_doughnut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e68b1a/32.png) [@mmm.forbidden\_doughnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mmm.forbidden_doughnut)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/107 "2003-05-13T16:38:32Z")
Ulysses S. Grant [mmmmmm…](http://teachpol.tcnj.edu/amer_pol_hist/fi/000000c8.htm) ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/108 "2003-05-13T16:43:56Z")
I would like to have the late Richard Milhaus Nixon boinked by Vice President and puppetmaster_extraordinaire_ Richard Cheney. ---
**Author:** ![Rapunzel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cc9497/32.png) [@Rapunzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rapunzel)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/109 "2003-05-13T17:06:22Z")
John Wayne as he was in The Quiet Man. Should be retitled ‘How to win the respect of feisty women’. Douglas Adams. For being huge, and gentle, and kind, with a brilliant mind. There is very, very little I wouldn’t have done for that man. ---
**Author:** ![Lisa-go-Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Lisa-go-Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa-go-Blind)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/110 "2003-05-13T19:27:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by An Arky \* > \*\*Jayne Mansfield, pre-decapitation.[Yow.]([http://thebachelor.crosswinds.net/](http://thebachelor.crosswinds.net/) jm35.jpg) \*\* [nitpick] [Actually, she wasn’t decapitated…](http://www.snopes.com/movies/actors/jayne.htm) [/nitpick] ---
**Author:** ![Profane\_Creation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/839c29/32.png) [@Profane\_Creation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Profane_Creation)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/111 "2003-05-13T19:50:34Z")
Grace Kelly. But as mentioned before, you don’t “bang” her. ---
**Author:** ![X\_Slayer\_ALE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/bbe5ce/32.png) [@X\_Slayer\_ALE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/X_Slayer_ALE)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/112 "2003-05-13T19:58:57Z")
Dead people whom I wouldve loved to have boinked in their twenties: Rita Hayworth (MMMMmmmmm) Marilym Munroe (Mroof!) Jayne Mansfield (hubbahubbahubba) Old people whom I wouldve loved to have boinked in their twenties: Elizabeth Taylor (ROWR!!) Lauren Bacall (BABY!!) Barbara Eden (I got a wish for ya!) Old people whom I wouldve loved to have boinked when I was younger but wouldve regretted now. Jane Fonda ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/113 "2003-05-13T20:09:25Z")
Ludwig Wittgenstein (OK, this would probably require me being a bloke) ---
**Author:** ![doctordoowop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecc23a/32.png) [@doctordoowop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doctordoowop)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/114 "2003-05-15T05:01:50Z")
Tyrone Power? Only if you are a male. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/115 "2003-05-15T06:11:07Z")
Cary Grant for an affair; Jimmy Stewart for marriage. **Dr John of Babylon** , you mentioned Greer Garson. Did you know that she married the man who played her son in _Mrs. Miniver_? Someone mentioned Jennifer Jones. She is still living and made an appearance at the Oscars this year. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/116 "2003-05-15T13:03:26Z")
Nope, he did the girlies, too—even married and had kids. So it’s _all_ aboard for Tyrone Power! ---
**Author:** ![hermann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b487fb/32.png) [@hermann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hermann)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/117 "2003-05-18T03:20:08Z")
Capucine, ever since I first saw her in North to Alaska. And of course, Morticia…errrrrr…Carolyn Jones. ---
**Author:** ![Nvme77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Nvme77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nvme77)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/118 "2003-05-18T04:21:51Z")
Steve McQueen ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/119 "2003-05-18T04:22:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hermann \* > \*\*Capucine, ever since I first saw her in North to Alaska… \*\* For another view of the most excellent Capucine, check out _Walk On The Wild Side_. (circa early 1960’s) I promise you’ll be pleased with the results. Oh yeah, the movie is very good in other respects too. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![pokey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@pokey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pokey)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/120 "2003-05-18T04:44:42Z")
Orson Welles 1944. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628.md?page=7)