# Which dead celebrity would you most like to have boinked? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 2, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628 "2003-05-02T14:44:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/121 "2003-05-18T05:22:53Z")
No fair! **Eve** took the good ones! I’ve been trying to summon the ghost of Errol Flynn for YEARS! Hey, does it count if they just play a dead guy? 'cause if I was about twenty years younger, James Marsters…Yum! Lets see, who else. Well, Cagney, Bogart, Grant and possibly Gable. Is Omar Sharrif dead yet? I finally saw “Dr Zhavago” for the first time! Whew! If I wasn’t straight, I’d look twice (at least!) at Dietreich and Garbo. Lauren Bacall isn’t dead, last I looked. ---
**Author:** ![FairyDust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ccd318/32.png) [@FairyDust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyDust)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/122 "2003-05-18T06:07:39Z")
[John F. Kennedy, Jr.](http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/1999/kennedy/) ---
**Author:** ![Archergal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Archergal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archergal)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/123 "2003-05-18T15:45:44Z")
**Johnny Weissmuller** in those early Tarzan movies was **hot**! I always loved those scenes where he was swimming, and his arms were flashing through the water… The young **Jimmy Stewart** was quite a looker. And his personality wasn’t off-putting. And for every 3 women who like **Gene Kelly** , there’s one (me) who swoons for **Fred Astaire.** Gene was athletic and active, but Fred was grace and suavity. He makes me want to dance, and everybody knows that dancing is just a vertical expression of a horizontal desire!😃 ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/124 "2003-05-18T21:18:29Z")
Jacquelyn Kennedy, in her prime. ---
**Author:** ![Orange\_Skinner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3be4f8/32.png) [@Orange\_Skinner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orange_Skinner)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/125 "2003-05-18T21:31:12Z")
Jim Morrison. Especially if I could just you know…sort of drop in casually while he was doing Grace Slick back in the day…not that I’d want to intrude or anything. But come one…best three-way ever. And if that’s not an option–I’m sure bringing Jim Morrison was fairly taxing on the Magical Sex With Ressurrected Attractive Dead People Society in and of itself…and trying to coordinate the above three-way might just be too much…you know, Grace Slick isn’t dead, therefore she wouldn’t fall under the Magical Sex with Ressurrected Attractive Dead People Society’s area of influence, this that and the other…then he’d be fine by himself. _pictures Jim Morrison’s insanely attractive hair_ ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/126 "2003-05-18T21:31:12Z")
A young Elizabeth I. I have such an unnatural desire for her. In the more traditional celebrity sense Marilyn Monroe and Jackie O. Worked for Jack. ---
**Author:** ![Orange\_Skinner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3be4f8/32.png) [@Orange\_Skinner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orange_Skinner)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/127 "2003-05-18T21:31:12Z")
Jim Morrison. Especially if I could just you know…sort of drop in casually while he was doing Grace Slick back in the day…not that I’d want to intrude or anything. But come one…best three-way ever. And if that’s not an option–I’m sure bringing Jim Morrison was fairly taxing on the Magical Sex With Ressurrected Attractive Dead People Society in and of itself…and trying to coordinate the above three-way might just be too much…you know, Grace Slick isn’t dead, therefore she wouldn’t fall under the Magical Sex with Ressurrected Attractive Dead People Society’s area of influence, this that and the other…then he’d be fine by himself. _pictures Jim Morrison’s insanely attractive hair_ ---
**Author:** ![Ooner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c67d28/32.png) [@Ooner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ooner)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/128 "2003-05-18T22:36:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lisa-go-Blind \* > \*\*[nitpick] > > [Actually, she wasn’t decapitated…](http://www.snopes.com/movies/actors/jayne.htm) > > [/nitpick] \*\* I’m not sure which is worse… ---
**Author:** ![Lisa-go-Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Lisa-go-Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa-go-Blind)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2003, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/129 "2003-05-19T03:54:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pokey \* > \*\*Orson Welles 1944. \*\* Someone else said it first! I no longer have to live in shame. :o 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kilvert\_s\_Pagan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@Kilvert\_s\_Pagan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilvert_s_Pagan)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2003, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/130 "2003-06-01T13:15:24Z")
Princess Di. ---
**Author:** ![zebraplooker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/d6d6ee/32.png) [@zebraplooker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zebraplooker)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2003, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/131 "2003-06-01T15:07:11Z")
Lisa Lopez. ---
**Author:** ![Dragon\_Phoenix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Dragon\_Phoenix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragon_Phoenix)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2003, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/132 "2003-06-01T15:23:58Z")
Audrey Hepburn. Although the word boinking hardly seems appropriate for such a class lady. ---
**Author:** ![SeamusToo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e0b2c6/32.png) [@SeamusToo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeamusToo)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/133 "2003-06-03T14:36:50Z")
Yo! All you guys who are picking Lauren Bacall. The lady ain’t dead. She’s still here and she’s still sexy as hell. ---
**Author:** ![SeGate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac8455/32.png) [@SeGate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeGate)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/134 "2003-06-03T16:37:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eats\_Crayons \* > \*\*Gene Kelly was one of the sexist men _ever_ on the silver screen. > > I once read a quote in which someone said: “Men wish they could _be_ Fred Astaire (because he’s so sauve), women want to _sleep with_ Gene Kelly.” > > So I’m with ya on that one! \*\* Mmmmm… The way he lifts Debbie Reynolds in Singin’ In the Rain (during “You Were Meant for Me”). That effortless demonstration of strength is always enough to make me sigh like a sappy schoolgirl. They just don’t make men like that anymore! ---
**Author:** ![karomon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@karomon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/karomon)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/135 "2003-06-03T16:59:40Z")
Wha … ? Three pages and no Sid Vicious? Now I gotta go take _another_ shower. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/136 "2003-06-03T17:43:46Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by plnnr_ > **Grace Kelly always had that icy vibe that didn’t really appeal to me. She was attractive enough, but just a bit chilly. Whoever said Eva Gardner will have to share - and from what I’ve read and heard, she wouldn’t have thought twice about it.** > > _Originally posted by Short Guy_ > **I don’t know if I could find it in my heart to boink/do/make love to Grace Kelly. She’s such an esotheric beauty. Perhaps if the mood is just right…** Go back and watch the fireworks scene in _To Catch a Thief_: > [@](#): > > \*\*Grace Kelly: “Even in this light, I can tell where your eyes are looking. Look, John. Hold them… Ever had a better offer in your whole life? One with everything?” > > Cary Grant: “You know as well as I do this necklace is imitation.” > > Grace Kelly: “Well, _I’m_ not.”\*\* Yeow! On another note: > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Eats\_Crayons_ > \*\*Gene Kelly was one of the sexist men ever on the silver screen. > > I once read a quote in which someone said: “Men wish they could be Fred Astaire (because he’s so sauve), women want to sleep with Gene Kelly.” > > So I’m with ya on that one!\*\* In _that_ case, _I_ wanna be Gene Kelly! ---
**Author:** ![Avalonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@Avalonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avalonian)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/137 "2003-06-03T21:10:28Z")
Another bloke for Audrey Hepburn… though my attraction for her goes deeper than skin, there’s something about those eyes… and while I would also say that “boinking” doesn’t really seem to fit for Audrey, who am I to say, really? I think it’s cool that Doug Adams has been mentioned at least twice in this thread as a nominee. I think he’d be… well, quite embarrassed, really. _grin_ ---
**Author:** ![Francis\_E\_Dec\_Esq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@Francis\_E\_Dec\_Esq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francis_E_Dec_Esq)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/138 "2003-06-03T23:08:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Edwardina \* > **Johnny Weissmuller, who starred in the Tarzan movies of the 1930’s-40’s.** Good. You take Johnny and I’ll take Maureen O’Sullivan. If I can’t get her, I’ll take Greer Garson. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/139 "2003-06-04T12:34:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dragon Phoenix \* > \*\*Audrey Hepburn. > > Although the word boinking hardly seems appropriate for such a class lady. \*\* That’s what I said. ---
**Author:** ![Dragon\_Phoenix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Dragon\_Phoenix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragon_Phoenix)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2003, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628/140 "2003-06-05T09:22:25Z")
And I repeated it. 🙂 (I did not take the time to read the whole thread, actually) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-dead-celebrity-would-you-most-like-to-have-boinked/172628.md?page=8)