# Which Doper did it? : The Game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 22, 2005, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757 "2005-03-22T19:12:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/181 "2005-03-26T03:08:32Z")
> [@Cub Mistress](#): > > I picked \*\* Crafter\_Man\*\* out of the lineup. > > The victim had been stomped to death; CSI found small traces of crimson leather in the narrow puncture wounds. **Red Stilettos?** ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/182 "2005-03-26T03:10:39Z")
> [@Harimad-sol](#): > > **Red Stilettos?** Yes! (I just love that name.) ---
**Author:** ![Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/eada6e/32.png) [@Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_You_Big_Red_Fire_Engine)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/183 "2005-03-26T03:11:57Z")
> [@Cub Mistress](#): > > I picked \*\* Crafter\_Man\*\* out of the lineup. > > The victim had been stomped to death; CSI found small traces of crimson leather in the narrow puncture wounds. Correct. ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/184 "2005-03-26T03:43:12Z")
> [@](#): > > Law enforcement were shocked to discover that the killer was not only an amateur sleuth, but also a man of the cloth. **Brother Cadfael** is right, **picker**. > [@](#): > > The crime scene investigator didn’t know quite how he was going to explain this one to the chief… but he was certain the perpetrator had smashed her victim with a piece of fruit the size of a Volkswagen! Our story continues… “You say the perpetrator crushed her victim with an enormous fruit?” “Yes, sir.” “What sort of fruit was it?” “A green apple, sir.” “A green apple… Where could she get a green apple the size of a car?” “There’s only one place I can think of, sir.” “Well, you’d better get some detectives down there, then.” “Yes, sir… uh, sir?” “What is it?” “Do we have any submarines in the motor pool?” ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/185 "2005-03-26T04:12:10Z")
Request: Would folks mind identifying new entries, and quoting originals when adding additional clues? I can’t always tell the difference. Thanks. New clues for my unsolveds: > [@](#): > > Scene 1: The police didn’t know who did it, but they were certain the motive was a last ditch attempt to get money, since the perpetrator’s public assistance had been cut back severely. “Are you certain this person was a recipient of public assistance?” the Chief asked. “Absolutely. And we know they were willing to go to any means.” “Anything else?” “Only that they prefered to speak in slang.” > [@](#): > > The victim appeared to have been poisoned by his wife. When the police questioned the suspect’s son (a known arsonist), all he would say was, “I hope the bitch drowns,” and kept playing his violin. “We thought we had her, sir. Unfortunately, we were on the trail of her mother, who has the same name. We tried questioning her brother, but he was crazy as a loon.” > [@](#): > > According to police, the killer is a large man with an extensive criminal record. However, it is not know whether he committed the crime himself, or commanded one of his zombie henchmen to do it for him. “What else do you know about him?” “Not much, sir. Just that he enjoys alliteration and rhyme.” “What about the suspect you were going to question?” “Dead end, sir. He had the same first names as the suspect, but when we got to him, he had been murdered.” “Murdered? How?” “Seems he had killed an old lady and was threatening her grand daughter when a vigilante chopped him to pieces.” ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/186 "2005-03-26T04:15:52Z")
> [@FaerieBeth](#): > > Detectives have confirmed that they recovered a partially plucked goose and several bottles of ink. An note was found written on vellum… **The Scrivener**? ---
**Author:** ![Maxxxie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@Maxxxie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maxxxie)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/187 "2005-03-26T06:00:01Z")
Clue 12345: Witnesses could not see the suspect directly, but saw his reflection in a shop window. ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/188 "2005-03-26T13:48:30Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > The investigators reported that their prime suspect appeared to have been torn off of a bicycle tire **JT** , did you mean “bicycle wheel”? If so, I’d finger **Broken Spoke**. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/189 "2005-03-26T14:00:48Z")
> [@Sample\_the\_Dog](#): > > The victim appeared to have been poisoned by his wife. When the police questioned the suspect’s son (a known arsonist), all he would say was, “I hope the bitch drowns,” and kept playing his violin. > > “We thought we had her, sir. Unfortunately, we were on the trail of her mother, who has the same name. We tried questioning her brother, but he was crazy as a loon.” The murderous wife is **Agrippina**. The uncooperative son is **Nero**. The crazy brother is **caligulathegod**. A typical Doper family. ---
**Author:** ![Ragiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6de8d8/32.png) [@Ragiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ragiel)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/190 "2005-03-26T14:08:13Z")
> [@Sample\_the\_Dog](#): > > “We thought we had her, sir. Unfortunately, we were on the trail of her mother, who has the same name. We tried questioning her brother, but he was crazy as a loon.” > > “What else do you know about him?” > “Not much, sir. Just that he enjoys alliteration and rhyme.” > “What about the suspect you were going to question?” > “Dead end, sir. He had the same first names as the suspect, but when we got to him, he had been murdered.” > “Murdered? How?” > “Seems he had killed an old lady and was threatening her grand daughter when a vigilante chopped him to pieces.” This hapless victim has gotta be named **Claudius**. ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/191 "2005-03-26T14:13:16Z")
Winnah, winnah! Yes, **Agrippina** , **Nero** , **Claudius** , and c **aligulathegod** are correct. ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/192 "2005-03-26T16:57:25Z")
> [@Maxxxie](#): > > Clue 12345: Witnesses could not see the suspect directly, but saw his reflection in a shop window. **Mirror Image egamI rorriM** ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/193 "2005-03-26T17:05:14Z")
> [@Othersider](#): > > Could this be TubaDiva? Yes! > [@laina\_f](#): > > J’accuse **Chronos**! Yes! > [@Sternvogel](#): > > Although UkuleleIke was offered as a response, I thought that the confusion among witnesses suggested the more general response of picker. Which is correct? Oops. :o It was **Ike** all along–sorry! Crime #23094834: The suspect was seen by several witnesses escaping in a fire engine left at the scene by rescuers, loudly honking its horn and pumping his fist in the air while yelling. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/194 "2005-03-26T17:51:44Z")
> [@Monstre](#): > > New clue (#54321): Large animal tracks led away from the scene of the bank robbery, but investigators discovered that only $200 was taken. Continuing: The lead investigator, realizing they missed the perpetrator just barely, was heard lamenting, “If only we’d gotten there 5 minutes earlier, we could have sent him straight to jail, and he wouldn’t have been able to collect the $200.” ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/195 "2005-03-26T17:54:48Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > Crime #23094834: The suspect was seen by several witnesses escaping in a fire engine left at the scene by rescuers, loudly honking its horn and pumping his fist in the air while yelling. This one wouldn’t be as obvious as **Go You Big Red Fire Engine** , would it? ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/196 "2005-03-26T18:05:44Z")
Yes… :o :o :o ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Gutgore\_Blooddrink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Captain\_Gutgore\_Blooddrink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Gutgore_Blooddrink)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/197 "2005-03-26T18:06:20Z")
> [@picker](#): > > 12 would be the **Filthy Beast of Meat and Hair** The only crime I’ve commited is changing my user name, Sir! Signed, Cap’n Gutgore MeatBeast ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/198 "2005-03-26T18:07:21Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > Yes… :o :o :o Oops… well, since he’s been posting in this thread, that would be the first name that comes to mind when you mention a fire engine… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/199 "2005-03-26T18:15:13Z")
> [@Monstre](#): > > Large animal tracks led away from the scene of the bank robbery, but investigators discovered that only $200 was taken. The lead investigator, realizing they missed the perpetrator just barely, was heard lamenting, “If only we’d gotten there 5 minutes earlier, we could have sent him straight to jail, and he wouldn’t have been able to collect the $200.” Hmmm… I’d guess **Monopoly Money** if it weren’t for the large animal tracks. There used to be a horse and rider token in the game, but now the only animal token is Scotty the dog (not to be confused with other dogs having those same initials). ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/200 "2005-03-26T18:15:22Z")
> [@Sample\_the\_Dog](#): > > **JT** , did you mean “bicycle wheel”? If so, I’d finger **Broken Spoke**. Yes, that is whaat I meant. I’m not familiar with any doper by that name, though. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757.md?page=11)