# Which Doper did it? : The Game

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [March 22, 2005, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757 "2005-03-22T19:12:12Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 12

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\
**Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/221 "2005-03-27T03:50:58Z")

</div>

> [@FaerieBeth](#):
>
> New Clue: Detectives have confirmed that they recovered a partially plucked goose and several bottles of ink. An note was found written on vellum…

> [@Sample\_the\_Dog](#):
>
> **The Scrivener**?

Nope! Additional info just came in:  
It seems some of the goose pluckings had been sharpened into writing instruments, and in the criminal’s haste to flee, he/she left both the raw and sharpened items littered all over the scene…

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\
**Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/222 "2005-03-27T04:57:23Z")

</div>

> [@Sample\_the\_Dog](#):
>
> Yes, another [legacy handle](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/member.php?userid=27610) who posted for less than a year.

Ah. Well, my clue is a well-known Doper. Nobody obscure. 🙂

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\
**Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/223 "2005-03-27T17:30:47Z")

</div>

> [@FaerieBeth](#):
>
> **Clue:** Detectives have confirmed that they recovered a partially plucked goose and several bottles of ink. An note was found written on vellum…  
> It seems some of the goose pluckings had been sharpened into writing instruments, and in the criminal’s haste to flee, he/she left both the raw and sharpened items littered all over the scene…

Could it be **Pensandfeathers**?

**Clue:** We’ve searched the place backwards and forwards, and it’s always the same. We got zero, nothing.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\
**Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/224 "2005-03-27T17:38:08Z")

</div>

> [@laina\_f](#):
>
> Please excuse capitalization errors/inconsistencies. MSWord has its own ideas about capitalization.
> 
> I think this was meant to be a clue. Cuauhtemoc?

I guess mine was too obscure.

Clue: The death of the Tooth Fairy was a real mystery. Police said the only thing left at the scene was a note, addressed to the Tooth Fairy: You don’t exist.

She’s also the (adopted) granddaughter of an important persona, one who was directly involved in the Tooth Fairy’s _death_.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\
**Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/225 "2005-03-27T18:09:27Z")

</div>

> [@laina\_f](#):
>
> I think this was meant to be a clue. Cuauhtemoc?

Actually, it wasn’t meant to be a clue. :o It was a response to a comment by another poster. But since **Nametag** took a guess, let’s just say he’s right and move on.

There are no clues in this post. Really.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\
**Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/226 "2005-03-27T19:03:01Z")

</div>

> [@laina\_f](#):
>
> **Clue:** We’ve searched the place backwards and forwards, and it’s always the same. We got zero, nothing.

I screwed this clue up, and fixing it makes it kind of stupid, but here goes. . .

**Clue:** We’ve searched the place backwards and forwards, and it’s always the same. We get one thing, then nothing.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\
**Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/227 "2005-03-27T19:10:41Z")

</div>

The only one that comes to mind is 1010011010 but that name was used already.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\
**Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/228 "2005-03-27T21:09:44Z")

</div>

> [@Anaamika](#):
>
> I guess mine was too obscure.
> 
> Clue: The death of the Tooth Fairy was a real mystery. Police said the only thing left at the scene was a note, addressed to the Tooth Fairy: You don’t exist.
> 
> She’s also the (adopted) granddaughter of an important persona, one who was directly involved in the Tooth Fairy’s _death_.

**SusanStoHelit** , then?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\
**Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/229 "2005-03-27T21:18:03Z")

</div>

> [@Scott\_plaid](#):
>
> The only one that comes to mind is 1010011010 but that name was used already.

No.  
And now I realize that the original version of the clue was correct after all, and my attempt to fix it made it wrong, so we’re back to:

**Clue:** We’ve searched the place backwards and forwards, and it’s always the same. We got zero, nothing.

HINT: The first syllable of the perpetrator’s name sounds like a word that can mean two totally opposite things. Neither of them is one.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\
**Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/230 "2005-03-27T21:27:10Z")

</div>

> [@Monstre](#):
>
> **SusanStoHelit** , then?

YES! I thought this would be easy! Good job, **Monstre**!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\
**Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/231 "2005-03-27T23:49:14Z")

</div>

> [@laina\_f](#):
>
> Could it be **Pensandfeathers**?

Yep!!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/232 "2005-03-28T02:07:04Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> Unsolved Monstre Clue  
> New clue (#54321): Large animal tracks led away from the scene of the bank robbery, but investigators discovered that only $200 was taken.
> 
> Continuing: The lead investigator, realizing they missed the perpetrator just barely, was heard lamenting, “If only we’d gotten there 5 minutes earlier, we could have sent him straight to jail, and he wouldn’t have been able to collect the $200.”

## Just reposting those pieces of the clue together, still unsolved (but a known Doper, not an obscure one).

And a new case:

**Monstre Clue #3** : The detective reported that he arrived at the scene just a moment too late. “By the time I got there, she had already crept up the wall and escaped”.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/233 "2005-03-28T02:16:59Z")

</div>

> [@Monstre](#):
>
> Unsolved Monstre Clue  
> New clue (#54321): Large animal tracks led away from the scene of the bank robbery, but investigators discovered that only $200 was taken.
> 
> Continuing: The lead investigator, realizing they missed the perpetrator just barely, was heard lamenting, “If only we’d gotten there 5 minutes earlier, we could have sent him straight to jail, and he wouldn’t have been able to collect the $200.”

**gobear**!?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/234 "2005-03-28T02:42:28Z")

</div>

> [@FaerieBeth](#):
>
> **gobear**!?

You got it!! 🙂

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/235 "2005-03-28T03:28:24Z")

</div>

**Something old:**

> [@](#):
>
> The police didn’t know who did it, but they were certain the motive was a last ditch attempt to get money, since the perpetrator’s public assistance had been cut back severely.
> 
> “Are you certain this person was a recipient of public assistance?” the Chief asked.  
> “Absolutely. And we know they were willing to go to any means.”  
> “Anything else?”  
> “Only that they prefered to speak in slang.”

“Still can’t find her?”  
“No, sir. But we know she is clearly…”  
“At the end of her rope, yes, you said that.”  
“And we know she’s receiving…”  
“Public assistance, I know. What do they call those people, ‘dolies’?”  
“Something like that, sir.”  
“Do you have anything else at all?”  
“Only that she appears to have moved to town in February.”  
“When was she last seen?”  
“Last sighting we have is 4 days ago.”

> [@](#):
>
> According to police, the killer is a large man with an extensive criminal record. However, it is not know whether he committed the crime himself, or commanded one of his zombie henchmen to do it for him.
> 
> “What else do you know about him?”  
> “Not much, sir. Just that he enjoys alliteration and rhyme.”  
> “What about the suspect you were going to question?”  
> “Dead end, sir. He had the same first names as the suspect, but when we got to him, he had been murdered.”  
> “Murdered? How?”  
> “Seems he had killed an old lady and was threatening her grand daughter when a vigilante chopped him to pieces.”

“Anything more on that large evil spellcaster you’ve been chasing?”  
“Not yet, sir, but we’re hopeful he’ll confess if we catch him.”  
“Why’s that?”  
“Ask him anything and he’ll tell you.”  
“What are your chances of finding him soon?”  
“Pretty good, we think. We have his space age bachelor pad staked out. And it being near his birthday and all, we might find him out celebrating.”  
“OK, stake out the theme parks.”  
“All of them?”  
“Yes, all of them.”  
“But there must be dozens of them around here.”  
“If this guy’s large and dangerous and has magic powers, I want him caught, dammit!”

**And something new:**  
“What now?”  
“A very odd case, sir?”  
“So what else is new? Whaddya got?”  
“The only thing the witnesses remember was the perp’s rather odd… headgear.”  
“What was it, a helmet, a wig, a war bonnet, what?”  
“No sir… an animal.”  
“He had an animal on his head? What kind of animal?”  
“A donkey, sir.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Well, they weren’t positive, but that’s what it looked like.”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/236 "2005-03-28T03:35:11Z")

</div>

> [@Sample\_the\_Dog](#):
>
> **And something new:**  
> “What now?”  
> “A very odd case, sir?”  
> “So what else is new? Whaddya got?”  
> “The only thing the witnesses remember was the perp’s rather odd… headgear.”  
> “What was it, a helmet, a wig, a war bonnet, what?”  
> “No sir… an animal.”  
> “He had an animal on his head? What kind of animal?”  
> “A donkey, sir.”  
> “Are you sure?”  
> “Well, they weren’t positive, but that’s what it looked like.”

**Ass\_for\_a\_Hat** , and I probably got the spacing wrong on that.  
New clue from me:  
Police have identified the suspect as the arch nemesis of a local fast food chain owner. Said owner has repeatedly rebuffed attempts at trade secrets theft for a specialty sandwich. The employees of the establishment (one cashier and one fry cook) have confided in the authorities that they believe the suspect to have fled the city and settled in a nice housing development just outside the metropolitan area.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/237 "2005-03-28T03:37:41Z")

</div>

> [@FaerieBeth](#):
>
> **Ass\_for\_a\_Hat**

Ayup!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![sleeping](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@sleeping](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleeping)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/238 "2005-03-28T03:41:22Z")

</div>

> [@Kythereia](#):
>
> 1. We suspect that death was the result of blunt force trauma, done with a large, heavy, sharp object–possibly something like a machete or an axe.

**Machetero**?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\
**Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/239 "2005-03-29T15:45:02Z")

</div>

> [@Sample\_the\_Dog](#):
>
> Should have been West Coast rock band. But **roger** sussed it anyway.

If ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise.

Not another clue. A reflection on the fact that I know nothing of the Doors save from the fact that Jim Morrison fronted them (I think). My ignorance is why I got it right when others were doubtless rejecting it!

A couple more clues for extant posers:

Clue: She’s alive. Or should that be, a life? **Animal life, most especially**.

Clue: Apparently he died of his own hand, emulating his Greek philosophic hero.  
The victim might have worked in a pharmacy. **Or is he an evergreen cone-bearer who is pining away in the US of A?**

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\
**Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757/240 "2005-03-29T16:27:20Z")

</div>

> [@FaerieBeth](#):
>
> New clue from me:  
> Police have identified the suspect as the arch nemesis of a local fast food chain owner. Said owner has repeatedly rebuffed attempts at trade secrets theft for a specialty sandwich. The employees of the establishment (one cashier and one fry cook) have confided in the authorities that they believe the suspect to have fled the city and settled in a nice housing development just outside the metropolitan area.

**Suburban Plankton**.

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757.md?page=11)

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-doper-did-it-the-game/295757.md?page=13)
