# Which Hell would be worse for you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 25, 2019, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hell-would-be-worse-for-you/833047 "2019-04-25T18:45:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2019, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hell-would-be-worse-for-you/833047/1 "2019-04-25T18:45:58Z")
The hypothetical: these are the only options. Pain Hell – in your brief sojourn on Earth, you’ve demonstrated yourself worthy of an eternity of intense physical discomfort. I guess you can have scary little demons facilitating things, but although they are unnerving their principle service to you is finding flesh that hasn’t been rent or chewed from your bones recently, or showing you constellations of agony you never thought possible. Crazy Hell – As above, the merciful Father has decided you will never again know which way is up, what’s on TV or in the fridge (is it milk? or ants!), you’ll never sleep, you’ll never even be certain whether you’re dead or still alive. Nothing will ever make any kind of sense to you, and it will never cease to frustrate you. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2019, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hell-would-be-worse-for-you/833047/2 "2019-04-25T18:50:25Z")
Is being unable to sleep going to have the same effects on my mental state that it would in my mortal body? 'Cause it’s my understanding that it would drive me insane. And if I’m insane, why would I be frustrated? Heck, if I’m _not_ insane, why would I be frustrated? Randomity is the new order. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2019, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hell-would-be-worse-for-you/833047/3 "2019-04-25T18:52:40Z")
I’m guessing that you are being driven to insanity…but you never quite reach your destination. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2019, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hell-would-be-worse-for-you/833047/4 "2019-04-25T18:59:22Z")
Sugar free cookies are reallllllly bad. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2019, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hell-would-be-worse-for-you/833047/5 "2019-04-25T19:03:19Z")
Stuck in a locked room with an attractive air-headed woman and a malevolent lesbian intent on destroying my ego. And there would be a weird sculpture on the mantelpiece. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2019, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hell-would-be-worse-for-you/833047/6 "2019-04-25T19:12:28Z")
I’ve lived with chronic pain for decades now, so I have some experience with handling that. Been married three times, so I know crazy and it doesn’t scare me. I don’t have a sweet tooth, so how the cookies are sweetened is of no concern to me. Sounds like the deity in charge better come up with a better Hell if S/He wants to bully me into following Hir rules. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2019, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hell-would-be-worse-for-you/833047/7 "2019-04-25T19:34:08Z")
Yes, the cookies are crafted by The Devol Hisself. > [@Czarcasm](#): > > I’m guessing that you are being driven to insanity…but you never quite reach your destination. Or maybe you get there but never quite settle in. > [@begbert2](#): > > Is being unable to sleep going to have the same effects on my mental state that it would in my mortal body? 'Cause it’s my understanding that it would drive me insane. And if I’m insane, why would I be frustrated? > > Heck, if I’m _not_ insane, why would I be frustrated? Randomity is the new order. I think I know where you’re headed. Crazy Train waiting for you on platform 6-7/8. > [@Ukulele\_Ike](#): > > … And there would be a weird sculpture on the mantelpiece. Always that weird sculpture–almost looks like something. A primitive part of your brain knows exactly what it is, and knows better than to clue the rest of your mind. So your conscious mind sees the object, and your subconscious makes a great show of not knowing what it is you’re talking about. No worries, **scumpup** , they’re professional in Hell. They’ll surprise you. So you would prefer…I’m sorry, which would you prefer? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2019, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hell-would-be-worse-for-you/833047/8 "2019-04-25T19:43:01Z")
I have a feeling I am being set up - I say I prefer one, and then I get the other. > [@Ukulele Ike](#): > > Stuck in a locked room with an attractive air-headed woman and a malevolent lesbian intent on destroying my ego. So Hell is a code review? O my God! I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of Heaven and the pains of Hell; But most of all because I have offended Thee, My God, Who art all-good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, To confess my sins, to do penance, And to amend my life. [del]Amen[/del] Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2019, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hell-would-be-worse-for-you/833047/9 "2019-04-25T19:54:10Z")
I’m pretty much already a rage-filled lunatic, so I’d prefer to not add excruciating pain to the mix. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2019, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hell-would-be-worse-for-you/833047/10 "2019-04-25T19:59:00Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > I’m sorry, which would you prefer? I’ll take the pain, then. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2019, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hell-would-be-worse-for-you/833047/11 "2019-04-25T20:38:22Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > I’ll take the pain, then. Don’t worry, they’ll leave you your perfect ears. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2019, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hell-would-be-worse-for-you/833047/12 "2019-04-25T20:41:01Z")
Third hell has cookies. I can’t stand cookies, but they’re not as bad as painful insanity. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2019, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hell-would-be-worse-for-you/833047/13 "2019-04-25T20:54:00Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > I think I know where you’re headed. Crazy Train waiting for you on platform 6-7/8. I’m just trying to figure out whether it would drive me crazy or not. Also I’m not sure what the hell of sugar free cookies entails - do I have to eat them? Are the beds made of them? Is the TV tuned to the sugar free cookie channel? Would I turn into a sugar free cookie? What are we talking here? ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2019, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hell-would-be-worse-for-you/833047/14 "2019-04-25T21:21:56Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Crazy Hell – As above, the merciful Father has decided you will never again know which way is up, what’s on TV or in the fridge (is it milk? or ants!), you’ll never sleep, you’ll never even be certain whether you’re dead or still alive. Nothing will ever make any kind of sense to you, and it will never cease to frustrate you. Wait, hold on, you mean to say regular life’s not like that for you guys ?! ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2019, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hell-would-be-worse-for-you/833047/15 "2019-04-25T21:33:51Z")
I’ll take option 1. I’ve seen all the “Hellraiser” movies. Those guys know how to party. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2019, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hell-would-be-worse-for-you/833047/16 "2019-04-25T21:57:08Z")
Apparently, I’m already experiencing both hells. Six of one… ---
**Author:** ![Tapiotar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3be4f8/32.png) [@Tapiotar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapiotar)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2019, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hell-would-be-worse-for-you/833047/17 "2019-04-25T23:24:20Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > Third hell has cookies. I can’t stand cookies, but they’re not as bad as painful insanity. Of course third Hell has cookies. it’s the Dark Side, after all. I have had good sugar free cookies. I’ve even made some good ones. If I volunteer to be the baker, can I get out of the pain and the crazy? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2019, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hell-would-be-worse-for-you/833047/18 "2019-04-26T02:03:18Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > Wait, hold on, you mean to say regular life’s not like that for you guys ?! Actually, that’s been my week. It’s been hell. Then I subjected you all to my thinkery. ---
**Author:** ![Tatterdemalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Tatterdemalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tatterdemalion)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2019, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hell-would-be-worse-for-you/833047/19 "2019-04-26T03:16:56Z")
Some theologians define hell as separation from god. I am inclined to agree with that. Except, of course, that I think that’s a good thing. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2019, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hell-would-be-worse-for-you/833047/20 "2019-04-26T03:28:58Z")
I teach. Bring it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hell-would-be-worse-for-you/833047.md?page=2)