# Which Hobby Attracts The Most Tedious Wankers? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 22, 2007, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hobby-attracts-the-most-tedious-wankers/423543 "2007-10-22T04:55:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2007, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hobby-attracts-the-most-tedious-wankers/423543/201 "2007-10-25T19:09:29Z")
I had a different coworker who went into exhaustive detail about various things, particularly this online game he liked. When my desperate cries of “Give me the short version!” had no effect, I sent him a link to this [Red Dwarf](http://www.geocities.com/televisioncity/8889/text/meltdown.txt) script. Thereafter, he would interrupt himself with a muttered, “and then I rolled a 5 and a 2,” at least occasionally. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2007, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hobby-attracts-the-most-tedious-wankers/423543/202 "2007-10-25T20:42:15Z")
[QUOTE=DoctorJ] I think you mean Precious Moments, and yes, they’re nauseating. One of the people I work with got me a little Precious Moments doctor for Christmas last year. When my wife saw it, she said, “She has met you, right?” [/QUOTE] That’s right - Precious Moments. ::shudder:: ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2007, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hobby-attracts-the-most-tedious-wankers/423543/203 "2007-10-25T21:07:26Z")
[QUOTE=Chimera] Then I offered to buy him the Tedious Wanker t-shirt. [/QUOTE] I want one. Where can I get one? ---
**Author:** ![ignis\_glaciesque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@ignis\_glaciesque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ignis_glaciesque)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2007, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hobby-attracts-the-most-tedious-wankers/423543/204 "2007-10-25T22:55:53Z")
I live and work (though not much longer on the ‘work’ part) with a tedious wanker, whose chief interests are military history and professional wrestling (neither of which I find interesting in the slightest). It was worse in the past, but he still corners me and monologues at me on a semi-regular basis. Got better when I started being brutally honest about my disinterest, doing everything from simply walking away (that _really_ pisses him off!) to interjecting and asking him if what he’s about to say will be a waste of my time or not. I even tried monologuing him on my subjects of intererst (human evolution and linguistics, mainly), but he quickly thwarted me by hijacking my monologue with one of his own. Wanker! Got even worse when he got accepted into graduate school… ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2007, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hobby-attracts-the-most-tedious-wankers/423543/205 "2007-10-25T23:16:37Z")
[QUOTE=ignis\_glaciesque] I even tried monologuing him on my subjects of intererst (human evolution and linguistics, mainly), but he quickly thwarted me by hijacking my monologue with one of his own. Wanker! Got even worse when he got accepted into graduate school… [/QUOTE] Ah, yes. The coveted _Master of Science - Professional Wrestling_ degree. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2007, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hobby-attracts-the-most-tedious-wankers/423543/206 "2007-10-26T03:57:00Z")
Precious Moments, Snow Babies, Lladro figurines–my MIL has them all. She doesn’t collect them, though–she just has bad taste. \ I actually thought that Pretty Moments were a spinoff of Precious Moments–sweet Christ, they’re breeding! was my first thought… I’ve had a person wake me up to tell me about his brilliant new idea for Christ, I don’t know-a power changer or generator or water heater or some damned thing. It was late; I was asleep; I am not a mechanical engineer; I do not care. He does this upon occasion–let’s just say I don’t find it sexy. (he hasn’t done it in awhile-perhaps he’s learned). I think the most tedious wankers are the ones who feel compelled to EXPLAIN it all to you, almost as if they were thinking out loud. I can see the connecion between X and Y in your collection. I don’t need it explained: one is blue, the other is red. Same object, different colors. Very nice. Moving on–oh, we’re not moving on because you must share how rare the red ones are? Kill me now… ---
**Author:** ![ignis\_glaciesque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@ignis\_glaciesque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ignis_glaciesque)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2007, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hobby-attracts-the-most-tedious-wankers/423543/207 "2007-10-26T03:58:28Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] Ah, yes. The coveted _Master of Science - Professional Wrestling_ degree. 😛 [/QUOTE] Ha! Priceless! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2007, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hobby-attracts-the-most-tedious-wankers/423543/208 "2007-10-26T11:24:50Z")
[QUOTE=eleanorigby] Precious Moments, Snow Babies, Lladro figurines–my MIL has them all. … Kill me now… [/QUOTE] Which reminds me… the American Girls dolls, which are made here, so I know way more than I should about them. Knowing they even exist is way more than I need to know. They come with biographies, and they’re named, and people speak of them by their names and repeat their “personal histories” just like they’re referring to a real child. It is REALLY creepy! ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2007, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hobby-attracts-the-most-tedious-wankers/423543/209 "2007-10-26T11:41:35Z")
[QUOTE=Zebra] Is loving Jesus a hobby? [/QUOTE] Yes it is! The world’s most annoying hobby! ---
**Author:** ![Thing\_Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@Thing\_Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thing_Fish)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2007, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hobby-attracts-the-most-tedious-wankers/423543/210 "2007-10-26T17:27:46Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] This might be a little bit meta, but nobody’s mentioned it yet, so it has to be said: _ **Potheads.** _ The distinction here is that very few potheads sit around and smoke weed — and then do absolutely nothing. No, they smoke weed, and then they engage in various activities: many of them hobbies that have been mentioned in this thread. And the infusion of marijuana into the activity makes the already tedious wankery even more tedious because it’s filtered through the single note of potheadedness. Foodie pothead: “Yeah, but have you ever tasted foie gras… _on weed?_ There’s like this whole other layer of texture, and the flavor has so much more depth, you can like taste the grain the duck ate, and…” Sports pothead: “Yeah, but have you ever watched baseball… _on weed?_ You can actually see the pitcher and the batter trying to read each others’ minds, man…” Cinemaphile pothead: “Yeah, but have you ever watched _Bad Santa… on weed?_ It’s just so dark and so mean, it’s amazing the movie ever got made, it’s like the producers had no idea what kind of movie they were signing off on…” Gamer pothead: “Yeah, but have you ever played HALO… _on weed?_” Audiophile pothead: “Yeah, but have you ever listened to Miles Davis… _on weed?_” And so on. I’ve never talked to a stamp-collecting pothead, but I imagine the experience would be similar: “Have you ever compared a mid-1930s British stamp with a late-1960s British stamp… _on weed?_” or whatever. Ditto any other hobby mentioned so far, with the exception of those that require intense physical activity. Basically, you take anyone who engages in a primarily sedentary activity, and add marijuana, and you get a hobbyist who is even more obsessive about it than the non-pothead, and who is even more desperate to share the wonder of it all with anyone who will listen. I win. 😛 [/QUOTE] Oh, yes, you do… I was literally crying with laughter reading that. Good thing I’m not _on weed_ or I might have, like, died. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2007, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hobby-attracts-the-most-tedious-wankers/423543/211 "2007-10-26T17:32:37Z")
[QUOTE=calm kiwi] Yes it is! The world’s most annoying hobby! [/QUOTE] Yes, but have you ever loved Jesus…_on weed?_😛 ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2007, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hobby-attracts-the-most-tedious-wankers/423543/212 "2007-10-26T17:56:48Z")
[QUOTE=ignis\_glaciesque] I live and work (though not much longer on the ‘work’ part) with a tedious wanker, whose chief interests are military history and professional wrestling (neither of which I find interesting in the slightest). [/QUOTE] Get him a subscription to [_Internet Tough Guy Magazine_](http://farm.tucows.com/images/2006/06/internet_tough_guy_magazine.jpg) and he’ll never bother you again. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2007, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hobby-attracts-the-most-tedious-wankers/423543/213 "2007-10-26T21:11:07Z")
[QUOTE=Hypno-Toad] You could change your dopername to **T.D.S. Wanker**. [/QUOTE] Oh, how I would make this a liscense plate on my truck, if I could get it past the Liscense Plate Nazi’s. **TDSWANKR** Oh, and if you have time to kill That is why you are here, right? I found a cool make it yourself t-shirt site:[Spread Shirt](http://www.spreadshirt.com/us/US/Create-t-shirt/Designer-59/) . I haven’t test driven the quality of it all yet, but I am having fun there. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2007, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hobby-attracts-the-most-tedious-wankers/423543/214 "2007-10-27T02:35:36Z")
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest] Oh, how I would make this a liscense plate on my truck, if I could get it past the Liscense Plate Nazi’s. **TDSWANKR** Oh, and if you have time to kill That is why you are here, right? I found a cool make it yourself t-shirt site:[Spread Shirt](http://www.spreadshirt.com/us/US/Create-t-shirt/Designer-59/) . I haven’t test driven the quality of it all yet, but I am having fun there. [/QUOTE] I would try to put a little naval twist to it – USS Wanker, or HMS Wanker, for a bit of British class. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2007, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hobby-attracts-the-most-tedious-wankers/423543/215 "2007-10-27T04:30:44Z")
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest] Oh, how I would make this a liscense plate on my truck, if I could get it past the Liscense Plate Nazis. [/QUOTE] There’s always the [Tedious Wanker motivational poster](http://s75.photobucket.com/albums/i298/middlecase/?action=view¤t=tediouswanker.jpg). Considerable thanks to **Usram** , from whose earlier post I pinched most of the text for this. ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2007, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hobby-attracts-the-most-tedious-wankers/423543/216 "2007-10-27T11:50:29Z")
Most excellent, **Scissorjack**! ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2007, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hobby-attracts-the-most-tedious-wankers/423543/217 "2007-10-27T11:55:14Z")
[QUOTE=fessie] Most excellent, **Scissorjack**! [/QUOTE] I’ve made it my wallpaper, although it would make a kickarse teeshirt. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hobby-attracts-the-most-tedious-wankers/423543/218 "2007-10-29T03:47:47Z")
[QUOTE=Spiny Norman] And then there were the keen ones. Ye gads, the keen ones… They would spend incredible sums on “better” gear, read books and watch movies on Special Forces operations, load themselves down with all sorts of tactical flashlights and special utensils and whatnot. They’d talk endlessly about the SAS and the Spetznas and the Jaeger Force, about helicopter rappelling and long-range reconnaissance missions. None of which was really the mission. … If they showed up, they’d have to be very carefully led, as they’d tend to be hyper-aggressive in their tactical choices, with little attention paid to relative strengths, assigned fields of fire, friendly fire, the overall tactical situation or such details as - orders. They scorned defensive measures like camouflage or - heaven forbid - digging in. And they did not take post-exercise critique kindly. Even if they could be made to shut up at the post-ex, they’d talk endlessly afterwards about how their decision to interpret orders to “observe and report” as “engage enemy armoured column with rifle fire” was really, truly the right one under the circumstances. They’d always be the ones asking for more full-auto action on the firing range. (And then have to be gently told that the time and ammo would be better spent improving their grouping at the 100 m range…) I am not belittling their courage. If the balloon had gone up, they’d undoubtedly perform heroic acts of incredible self-sacrifice, mostly due to a lack of understanding of the situation. I just would’ve wished that they’d be in somebody else’s unit when doing so. [/QUOTE] Hah. You’ve just described Gareth from _The Office._ (The UK version, which is the only _real_ version, of course…since all British comedy is so much more entertaining and intellectual than American comedy. 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hobby-attracts-the-most-tedious-wankers/423543/219 "2007-10-29T14:57:21Z")
I can’t say that I’ve ever noticed any one hobby has more tedious wankers than others. It usually depends on the person, because enthusiasts vary in their ability or willingness to talk to nonenthusiasts without boring them. On the other hand nothing is worse than being the third person in the room when two enthusiasts of the same interest are talking together. I remember going out doing errands with my brother, who was into mountain biking, and our spending an hour in the garage of one of his friends, while the two of them talked about tires and seats and butted vs non-butted tubing. Hoo boy… I’d probably be more interested now, but I sure wasn’t then. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hobby-attracts-the-most-tedious-wankers/423543/220 "2007-10-29T15:26:39Z")
[QUOTE=casdave] Meantime, they spend an incredible amount of cash on their chosen hobby, which would pay for them to attend live music many many times over. [/QUOTE] LIVE music?! Do you not realize how much the sound quality of live music sucks?! 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hobby-attracts-the-most-tedious-wankers/423543.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hobby-attracts-the-most-tedious-wankers/423543.md?page=12)