# Which hypothetical job is least unethical? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 18, 2011, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hypothetical-job-is-least-unethical/599992 "2011-10-18T01:48:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hypothetical-job-is-least-unethical/599992/1 "2011-10-18T01:48:36Z")
Alien spacebats force you to do a unethical job, you have to do it for 1 year and you are magically prevented from slacking off, sabotage or suicide.　You are magically very good at it. Which job will you pick? Weapons designer.= your work will lead to a easier to manufacture, more reliable, easier for a child to use, more horrifically disabling version of the AK-47, your employers calculate that they’ll be able to sell/distribute 30 million of them out within the next 15 years. Head chef at a deathcamp = you have to cook for thousands of guards at an Auschwitcz-style deathcamp. Your excellent food will be the highlight of the guards day. Legal defence wiz = you are head of a legal team that can unfailibly find exceptions and loopholes to get ANYONE off the hook, your higher-ups assign only those they know are guilty to you, and you have 24 cases a year, all of them murder. Tobacco Lobbyist = “_I front an organization that kills 1,200 people a day_” Drugs cooker = You develop an even more addictive variant of heroin, which is as cheap to produce as regular heroin, your gangster bosses will be able to get a lot on the streets. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hypothetical-job-is-least-unethical/599992/2 "2011-10-18T01:51:06Z")
Maybe tobacco lobbyist. Don’t get me wrong, I hate cigarettes. But I feel like most people do know what they’re getting into these days with smoking. Or anyway, I suppose that’s what I could say to rationalize it to myself if I’m having a dark night of the soul. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hypothetical-job-is-least-unethical/599992/3 "2011-10-18T01:58:44Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > Alien spacebats force you to do a unethical job, you have to do it for 1 year and you are magically prevented from slacking off, sabotage or suicide.　You are magically very good at it. Which job will you pick? > > Weapons designer.= your work will lead to a easier to manufacture, more reliable, easier for a child to use, more horrifically disabling version of the AK-47, your employers calculate that they’ll be able to sell/distribute 30 million of them out within the next 15 years. > > Head chef at a deathcamp = you have to cook for thousands of guards at an Auschwitcz-style deathcamp. Your excellent food will be the highlight of the guards day. > > Legal defence wiz = you are head of a legal team that can unfailibly find exceptions and loopholes to get ANYONE off the hook, your higher-ups assign only those they know are guilty to you, and you have 24 cases a year, all of them murder. > > Tobacco Lobbyist = “_I front an organization that kills 1,200 people a day_” > > Drugs cooker = You develop an even more addictive variant of heroin, which is as cheap to produce as regular heroin, your gangster bosses will be able to get a lot on the streets. I’d have to say weapons designer. The only way a child, theoretically, could access such a weapon would be due to _parental_ or some other authority figure’s failure. Ideally, the weapon would be used for non-criminal purposes, so I would design such a weapon with only those uses in mind (of course realistically such ideals may not be met but all the other job options don’t even allow for an _ideal_ role which does not involve (directly or indirectly) immoral behavior. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hypothetical-job-is-least-unethical/599992/4 "2011-10-18T02:00:15Z")
I’d be the chef. They’re already doing bad things. My feeding them is probably doing the least harm. Plus I get to eat some good food, sounds like. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hypothetical-job-is-least-unethical/599992/5 "2011-10-18T02:01:40Z")
I said chef because I could poison their food on the day after the alien magic wears off. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hypothetical-job-is-least-unethical/599992/6 "2011-10-18T02:02:10Z")
> [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > I’d be the chef. They’re already doing bad things. My feeding them is probably doing the least harm. > > Plus I get to eat some good food, sounds like. By feeding the deathcamp guards, you are _knowingly_ aiding and abetting them in the carrying out of the unspeakable acts they commit against their prisoners. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hypothetical-job-is-least-unethical/599992/7 "2011-10-18T02:11:50Z")
The lawyer job is least unethical. It doesn’t matter if you know your client is guilty. Your job is to represent them as best you can within the confines of the law. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hypothetical-job-is-least-unethical/599992/8 "2011-10-18T02:11:52Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > By feeding the deathcamp guards, you are _knowingly_ aiding and abetting them in the carrying out of the unspeakable acts they commit against their prisoners. But they would be doing that anyway. I’m not harming any people that would not have been harmed anyway like with the other options. Plus yeah, Like TRIPOLAR said, we can poison them on the last day. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hypothetical-job-is-least-unethical/599992/9 "2011-10-18T02:13:35Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > By feeding the deathcamp guards, you are _knowingly_ aiding and abetting them in the carrying out of the unspeakable acts they commit against their prisoners. I think the point is that all of these choices include aiding and abetting unspeakable acts. At least the chef isn’t helping to cause the unspeakable acts to occur. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hypothetical-job-is-least-unethical/599992/10 "2011-10-18T02:20:21Z")
I see absolutely nothing unethical about practicing law…as I have done for 16 years now. Also have no problems with weapon design. A weapon is merely a tool, which may be used for good or ill. Of the remaining choices, tobacco lobbyist is the least unpleasant. Nobody really believes the product is anything but harmful, but it is lawful, and adults are free to choose to use it or not. Death Camp Cook and Drug Maker are distasteful, but since the OP’s hypothetical negates free will via magic, none of the choices listed are actually morally culpable. ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hypothetical-job-is-least-unethical/599992/11 "2011-10-18T02:32:16Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > I’d have to say weapons designer. The only way a child, theoretically, could access such a weapon would be due to _parental_ or some other authority figure’s failure. Ideally, the weapon would be used for non-criminal purposes, so I would design such a weapon with only those uses in mind (of course realistically such ideals may not be met but all the other job options don’t even allow for an _ideal_ role which does not involve (directly or indirectly) immoral behavior. [hundreds of thousands of child-soldiers might disagree with you there.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_soldiers) > [@TriPolar](#): > > I said chef because I could poison their food on the day after the alien magic wears off. Nope, even after the year, you are unable to poison them, the only diffrence is you’ll be permitted to safely leave the job. > [@Oakminster](#): > > I see absolutely nothing unethical about practicing law…as I have done for 16 years now. There’s practicing law and there’s the scenario listed in the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hypothetical-job-is-least-unethical/599992/12 "2011-10-18T02:49:51Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > I see absolutely nothing unethical about practicing law…as I have done for 16 years now. Also have no problems with weapon design. A weapon is merely a tool, which may be used for good or ill. Ah, but OP’s hypothesis is that you’re being forced to do this against your will. I think I’d like being the lawyer – perhaps that would give me the best knowledge, skill, and opportunities to shamelessly embezzle, cheat, and otherwise screw over those very spacebats who are forcibly employing me (eta: even while I continue to do the job that they have assigned to me)! Hey, if I’m forced to be unethical, OP’s hypothesis doesn’t preclude me from being unethical even to the disadvantage of those evil spacebats! 🆒 (Does this contradict the OP’s prohibition of sabotage? Even if I’m forcibly employed, is the pay good? Will I get a good lawyer’s income?) ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hypothetical-job-is-least-unethical/599992/13 "2011-10-18T02:54:32Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > [hundreds of thousands of child-soldiers might disagree with you there.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_soldiers) > > Nope, even after the year, you are unable to poison them, the only diffrence is you’ll be permitted to safely leave the job. > > There’s practicing law and there’s the scenario listed in the OP. I remain firm on my original assertation; if I am being tasked with designing a new, deadlier version of the AK-47, I would be doing so with the understanding that it would only be used for _legal, non-criminal_ use. Once the gun is manufactured and distributed, I can only depend on the ethics of _others_ to ensure that the guns be used properly. The chef job is wrong because you are playing an active role in an unethical activity. Their is nothing inherently unethical about manufacturing a weapon. There _is_ something inherently wrong with voluntarily feeding soldiers who torture their captors. (I say voluntarily because you choose whichever job you think is least unethical). ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hypothetical-job-is-least-unethical/599992/14 "2011-10-18T03:02:51Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > Nope, even after the year, you are unable to poison them, the only diffrence is you’ll be permitted to safely leave the job. Well I’d have to go with tobacco lobbyist then. Most of those people are dying of old age a little sooner than if they didn’t smoke. It wouldn’t bother me much. Nobody really to take revenge on, which is a downside, but I don’t get to do that anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hypothetical-job-is-least-unethical/599992/15 "2011-10-18T03:07:37Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Ah, but OP’s hypothesis is that you’re being forced to do this against your will. I think I’d like being the lawyer – perhaps that would give me the best knowledge, skill, and opportunities to shamelessly embezzle, cheat, and otherwise screw over those very spacebats who are forcibly employing me (eta: even while I continue to do the job that they have assigned to me)! Hey, if I’m forced to be unethical, OP’s hypothesis doesn’t preclude me from being unethical even to the disadvantage of those evil spacebats! 🆒 > > (Does this contradict the OP’s prohibition of sabotage? Even if I’m forcibly employed, is the pay good? Will I get a good lawyer’s income?) But see, this is where I think the OP slipped up a bit; he never said **you** had to **act** unethically, he simply said you would be forced to take what he considered to be an unethical job. Not all the jobs are inherently unethical. ---
**Author:** ![Tess\_Trueheart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/779978/32.png) [@Tess\_Trueheart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tess_Trueheart)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hypothetical-job-is-least-unethical/599992/16 "2011-10-18T03:19:31Z")
Chef. It’s not like the guards would go without food if I didn’t take the job. If I were magically good at it, I’d just suddenly have cooking skills! Not saving-the-guilty skills, weapon-making skills, drug-making skills or tale-spinning skills. Cooking’s the only thing I’d feel comfortable still doing after my year was up! ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hypothetical-job-is-least-unethical/599992/17 "2011-10-18T03:34:59Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > The chef job is wrong because you are playing an active role in an unethical activity. Their is nothing inherently unethical about manufacturing a weapon. There _is_ something inherently wrong with voluntarily feeding soldiers who torture their captors. (I say voluntarily because you choose whichever job you think is least unethical). Well, the master chef is making the lives of thousands of evil people better. It’s up to you to decide whether that is a good or evil thing to do. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hypothetical-job-is-least-unethical/599992/18 "2011-10-18T03:48:31Z")
Originally Posted by Ambivalid The chef job is wrong because you are playing an active role in an unethical activity. Their is nothing inherently unethical about manufacturing a weapon. There is something inherently wrong with voluntarily feeding soldiers who torture their captors. (I say voluntarily because you choose whichever job you think is least unethical). > [@Namkcalb](#): > > Well, the master chef is making the lives of thousands of evil people better. It’s up to you to decide whether that is a good or evil thing to do. Um, did you happen to read my post which you quoted? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hypothetical-job-is-least-unethical/599992/19 "2011-10-18T04:01:00Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > There’s practicing law and there’s the scenario listed in the OP. There is absolutely nothing unethical about that scenario, and only a layman would think otherwise. A criminal defense lawyer is obligated to vigorously defend his client, which means raising any “exceptions and loopholes” that may exist. If the state fails to do their job properly, the defendant should walk. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2011, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hypothetical-job-is-least-unethical/599992/20 "2011-10-18T04:08:34Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > There is absolutely nothing unethical about that scenario, and only a layman would think otherwise. A criminal defense lawyer is obligated to vigorously defend his client, which means raising any “exceptions and loopholes” that may exist. **If the state fails to do their job properly, the defendant should walk**. (emphasis added) Except in Texas. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-hypothetical-job-is-least-unethical/599992.md?page=2)