# Which LAW & ORDER characterswould you be willing to hire? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 18, 2016, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-law-order-characterswould-you-be-willing-to-hire/760211 "2016-07-18T14:06:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-law-order-characterswould-you-be-willing-to-hire/760211/41 "2016-07-19T01:18:43Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > I asked this question specifically because the critics seem to be consistent in their condemnation of the characters such as police, prosecutors, and judges; I can only come to the conclusion that their sympathies are with the other side. :: opens mouth to respond :: :: notices fishhook in cheek, moves it gingerly :: Jm-hmm. Anywhistle, I think we can all agree that Jack McCoy’s parade of supermodel assistans is very suspicious. But it’s equally clear that Claire was the last one he boinked Of course, Serena was a lesbian, and by the time he got to Borgia and Connie he was in his 60s and may no longer have had the…heart…for such things. The point is: Would you have voted for McCoy for DA? ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-law-order-characterswould-you-be-willing-to-hire/760211/42 "2016-07-19T02:03:19Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Lenny hit on Rogers several times, and she seemed to respond. Given how cagey L&O was about relationships, they may have had an affair. Hell, even VAN BUREN acknowledged that Lenny had some game with the ladies. He just had more princicples than Jack. After Lenny died, Rodgers specifically mentioned going out with him to a concert (as I recall). It was great when Lenny quoted poetry to Van Buren though. I’d love to have seen more of Lenny doing undercover work, by the way - he was always great when he did it. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-law-order-characterswould-you-be-willing-to-hire/760211/43 "2016-07-19T02:07:40Z")
didn’t munch and lenny have beef because lenny slept with one of munch’s exes for a while? But the episode I seen on usa is why I don’t watch the show anymore… the plot could of been thought provoking but the characters were so unlikeable on both sides that it was hard to finish it the wannabe ms 13 gang was called dx9 a friend came over and asked if they fought dos 6.2 in the pc lab … but it was clear the writer had no idea of how most gangs work … I forgot the name of the episode tho ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-law-order-characterswould-you-be-willing-to-hire/760211/44 "2016-07-19T02:31:00Z")
> [@Andy\_L](#): > > After Lenny died, Rodgers specifically mentioned going out with him to a concert (as I recall). It was great when Lenny quoted poetry to Van Buren though. > > I’d love to have seen more of Lenny doing undercover work, by the way - he was always great when he did it. I remember both those incidents, and a couple more. Rogers’s desciption of the date with Lenny was right after he died. Lenny undercover was great, but the best undercover scees were always when Goren and Eams were scamming someone by pretending to be a married couple. Second best would be Stabler and Benson wordlessly collaborating on an extemporaneous plan. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-law-order-characterswould-you-be-willing-to-hire/760211/45 "2016-07-19T02:57:01Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Don’t forget the Medical Examiner Elizabeth Rodgers, who was secretly the best character on the show! (also, the longest running character) She could be my personal doctor. She’d be all no nonsense and explain things upfront. I think a doctor can have too much bedside manner. My doctor right now only has a 3/5 Yelp rating, because even though people admit she gives good advice, runs the right tests, the waiting room time is about 3 minutes, and she prescribes medicine that works, people don’t think she’s “friendly” or “warm” enough. I think she’s perfect. > [@Omega\_Glory](#): > > I thought it came out during a trial that she slept with a detective while he was her patient. She got angry with Jack because he told Cutter about it so he could discredit her on the stand. She put herself in a vulnerable position trying to gather evidence, without police authority or back-up, and got raped. McCoy asked about the rape to suggest that she couldn’t separate her own feelings of being recently traumatized by a man, from the defendant’s alleged trauma, and wasn’t objective. DA - Schiff is the best of a not particularly great group. [/QUOTE] I think Schiff knows all the law books from memory. Arthur Branch can’t fall in a hole deep enough for me. I liked Nora Lewin, albeit, she was an interim appointment, and I think it showed. But it was a good acting choice by Dianne Wiest. > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Lenny hit on Rogers several times, and she seemed to respond. Given how cagey L&O was about relationships, they may have had an affair. They saw an opera together-- _Rigoletto_. Whatever more there was to it, we don’t know. I like the idea of Lenny spending his evenings in tuxes escorting ladies to the Met. If I needed a defense attorney and I were innocent, I’d want Jamie Ross. If I were guilty, I’d want Shambala Green. I would date the unmarried detectives in this order: Munch (because he’s Jewish) Green (my real first choice) Briscoe Benson c.1999 Logan Eames Goren Tutuola Lupo Cassady Fontana Amaro Benson c. 2016 The others I wouldn’t date at all. I wouldn’t date any married detectives. I would date Cerreta if he were available, though. I would also go out with, in a heartbeat, these: Dr. Rodgers Elizabeth Olivet Claire Kincaid Serena Southerlyn Abby Carmichael Shambala Green I’m on the fence regarding Alex Cabot. Of course, _I’m_ married, so it’s all theory. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-law-order-characterswould-you-be-willing-to-hire/760211/46 "2016-07-19T04:06:55Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > I would also go out with, in a heartbeat, these: > Dr. Rodgers > Elizabeth Olivet > Claire Kincaid > Serena Southerlyn > Abby Carmichael > Shambala Green > > I’m on the fence regarding Alex Cabot. No love for Casey Novak, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Omega\_Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7c8e57/32.png) [@Omega\_Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omega_Glory)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-law-order-characterswould-you-be-willing-to-hire/760211/47 "2016-07-19T04:24:15Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > She put herself in a vulnerable position trying to gather evidence, without police authority or back-up, and got raped. McCoy asked about the rape to suggest that she couldn’t separate her own feelings of being recently traumatized by a man, from the defendant’s alleged trauma, and wasn’t objective. You’re talking about a different case. The one I’m talking about was the one where a child psychologist was murdered by his wife, whom he used to treat when she was a teenager. Olivet testified for the defense that the woman wasn’t guilty because of the inappropriate relationship with her doctor/husband. Then Cutter blindsided her by asking her about the time she slept with a patient who was a detective. She knew Jack told him, and they had words after the case. ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-law-order-characterswould-you-be-willing-to-hire/760211/48 "2016-07-19T10:58:24Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I remember both those incidents, and a couple more. Rogers’s desciption of the date with Lenny was right after he died. Thanks. > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Lenny undercover was great, but the best undercover scees were always when Goren and Eams were scamming someone by pretending to be a married couple. Second best would be Stabler and Benson wordlessly collaborating on an extemporaneous plan. I never watched Criminal Intent, but I agree about Stabler and Benson, who could work together on a plan even when one was tied up in a chair. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-law-order-characterswould-you-be-willing-to-hire/760211/49 "2016-07-19T14:46:28Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > I asked this question specifically because the critics seem to be consistent in their condemnation of the characters such as police, prosecutors, and judges; I can only come to the conclusion that their sympathies are with the other side. Really? That’s the only possible conclusion you can come to? The only one? I criticized a leaf once. That must mean I hate God and worship Satan. Yep, I worship Satan. All hail Satan!!! ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-law-order-characterswould-you-be-willing-to-hire/760211/50 "2016-07-19T15:20:55Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Really? That’s the only possible conclusion you can come to? The only one? > > I criticized a leaf once. That must mean I hate God and worship Satan. Yep, I worship Satan. All hail Satan!!! I urge you not to take the bait. The person you’re dealing with is almost certainly less than sincere. ---
**Author:** ![E-DUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/e-dub/32/403_2.png) [@E-DUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-DUB)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-law-order-characterswould-you-be-willing-to-hire/760211/51 "2016-07-19T15:47:44Z")
No love for Dr. Warner? Have you people not seen “Devil’s Advocate”? ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-law-order-characterswould-you-be-willing-to-hire/760211/52 "2016-07-19T16:17:54Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Really? That’s the only possible conclusion you can come to? The only one? > > […] Let me put it this way: Those criticizing the principals of L&O SVU are, as I noted, consistent, panning the detectives and others on the side of the law equally. What other conclusion could I come to? And I am not talking about technical critics… ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-law-order-characterswould-you-be-willing-to-hire/760211/53 "2016-07-19T16:45:57Z")
What other conclusions? How about, “The characters are assholes”, or “They’re badly written” or “They don’t respect the rules of evidence” or “They’re brutal”? Jeebus! I can’t say any more. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-law-order-characterswould-you-be-willing-to-hire/760211/54 "2016-07-19T16:59:38Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > Let me put it this way: Those criticizing the principals of L&O SVU are, as I noted, consistent, panning the detectives and others on the side of the law equally. What other conclusion could I come to? And I am not talking about technical critics… Ignoring my own advice… I specifically slammed the later SVU detectives – Rollins, Amaro, and hte guy with the porn stache. In no way was I supporting rapists and pedophiles. Rollins is unlikable because she’s an asshole. She repeatedly does stupid, reckless things for selfish reasons; hell, at one point she was offering someone a blowjob to cover up a crime she had committed. Amaro was like Stabler without the redeeming qualities. Yeah, you’d watch SVU just waiting for hte day Stabler kiled a suspect, but he genuinely loved his wife and kids and Olivia, and he himself knew that his violent predilections were bad. And the porn stache guy is just boring. People criticie those characters because they’re not enjoyable to watch. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-law-order-characterswould-you-be-willing-to-hire/760211/55 "2016-07-19T17:01:37Z")
Er–what is “porn stache”?😕 ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-law-order-characterswould-you-be-willing-to-hire/760211/56 "2016-07-19T17:07:45Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > Er–what is “porn stache”?😕 [https://www.google.com/search?q=porn+stache&num=30&newwindow=1&espv=2&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiy2sDvgYDOAhWEeD4KHW3\_BOIQ\_AUICCgB&biw=780&bih=364](https://www.google.com/search?q=porn+stache&num=30&newwindow=1&espv=2&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiy2sDvgYDOAhWEeD4KHW3_BOIQ_AUICCgB&biw=780&bih=364) ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-law-order-characterswould-you-be-willing-to-hire/760211/57 "2016-07-19T18:15:58Z")
[QUOTE=TVTropes] Not to be confused with a [Porn Stash](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PornStash). If you try hiding your stash in your 'stache, it will hurt like the dickens, unless your 'stache is truly [badass](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BadassMustache). [/QUOTE] :D\_ ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-law-order-characterswould-you-be-willing-to-hire/760211/58 "2016-07-19T18:16:04Z")
If Abbie Carmichael quit the DA’s office I’d hire her to read me bedtime stories. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-law-order-characterswould-you-be-willing-to-hire/760211/59 "2016-07-19T18:32:46Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > [porn stache - Google Search](https://www.google.com/search?q=porn+stache&num=30&newwindow=1&espv=2&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiy2sDvgYDOAhWEeD4KHW3_BOIQ_AUICCgB&biw=780&bih=364) OK, I’ve followed the link. ---
**Author:** ![Nuveena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a587f6/32.png) [@Nuveena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nuveena)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2016, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-law-order-characterswould-you-be-willing-to-hire/760211/60 "2016-07-19T19:44:54Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > As for Olivet’s ability as a therapist, don’t forget she slept with Logan during/after their therapy sessions, (maybe because of her position of power in the relationship, we should give her the title “the/rapist”?) plus her incredibly stupid actions in trying to get evidence against the rapist doctor by putting herself in a situation where not only was she raped by him, but actually succeeded in giving the impression she was asking for it! That’s an incredibly amazingly bad plan! Fun fact: the patient that put her on the trail of the rapist doctor was Felicity Huffman. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-law-order-characterswould-you-be-willing-to-hire/760211.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-law-order-characterswould-you-be-willing-to-hire/760211.md?page=4)