# Which movie or TV child would you adopt? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 18, 2004, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-movie-or-tv-child-would-you-adopt/280542 "2004-12-18T18:07:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-movie-or-tv-child-would-you-adopt/280542/41 "2004-12-21T05:23:20Z")
Little Elijah Wood either from _North_ or _Radio Flyer_. He was a pretty good kid in both and he’s so darned adorable. Oh, and if I get Elijah from _Radio Flyer_ it would be after his little brother flies away, so then I don’t have to take his sibling … if he ever existed. ---
**Author:** ![don\_Jaime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b4bc9f/32.png) [@don\_Jaime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_Jaime)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-movie-or-tv-child-would-you-adopt/280542/42 "2004-12-21T05:42:08Z")
Lolita, the Dominique Swain version. What? In all seriousness, the little Russian boy in _Kolya_. Quite possibly the cutest child I’ve ever seen in a movie. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-movie-or-tv-child-would-you-adopt/280542/43 "2004-12-21T06:04:49Z")
Hands down, difinitely, with no trace of doubt: Zim! Especially if he comes with Gir! That would rule. Either that or Meatwad. Oh hells yeah! ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-movie-or-tv-child-would-you-adopt/280542/44 "2004-12-21T06:16:42Z")
Leopold “Butters” Stoch from South Park. Poor little guy. I’m young, single, poor, and have no parenting experience. But at least I wouldn’t be actively malevolent. ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-movie-or-tv-child-would-you-adopt/280542/45 "2004-12-21T07:05:52Z")
I’ll have seven **Weasleys** , please. Okay, so two are all grown up and three are almost there, but it counts, right? [sup]I always wanted a big family.[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-movie-or-tv-child-would-you-adopt/280542/46 "2004-12-22T02:40:29Z")
Damn. I see I’ve already been beaten (several time!) to Boo from Monsters, Inc. So, I’m considering Jane and Michael from _Mary Poppins_. They’re not much trouble at all; they just get lost with their kite and want to feed the birds and jump into chalk drawings. 🙂 Or perhaps Susan and Sharon, although Susan’s not too bright at times… ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-movie-or-tv-child-would-you-adopt/280542/47 "2004-12-22T12:34:20Z")
**Kat** Jane and Michael are fine, just don’t take them to work with you but who are Sharon and Susan? ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-movie-or-tv-child-would-you-adopt/280542/48 "2004-12-22T15:52:55Z")
William from the X-Files. Unlike the cannon fodder in Wyoming who adopted him, at least I know about the vast conspiracy against him…his sister Emily is dead, though, do I get her pre-dead or as a ghost? Either way, she can help me find some magnite to ward off supersoldiers. I also wouldn’t mind adopting Adam on Joan of Arcadia. If they’d let me adopt someone that old (I’m only 11 or 12 years older)…can I adopt him as a little brother? Vynce always wanted one, and I wouldn’t mind having two. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-movie-or-tv-child-would-you-adopt/280542/49 "2004-12-22T16:53:53Z")
Hank and Dean Venture. They’re just such adorable goofballs. Of course, I’m assuming that Brock Sampson will come along. Mmmm . . . yes . . . ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-movie-or-tv-child-would-you-adopt/280542/50 "2004-12-22T18:05:12Z")
Jack from, Jack. ---
**Author:** ![moonstarssun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@moonstarssun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moonstarssun)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-movie-or-tv-child-would-you-adopt/280542/51 "2004-12-22T20:29:05Z")
I’ll take Cole from _The Sixth Sense._. He’s well-behaved, and I’m not bothered by the whole ghost thing. ---
**Author:** ![Gotterfunken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/58956e/32.png) [@Gotterfunken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gotterfunken)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-movie-or-tv-child-would-you-adopt/280542/52 "2004-12-22T20:35:53Z")
> [@MercyStreet](#): > > Apparently I’ll have to work out some kind of custody arrangement for **Boo** from Monsters Inc. > > _Teeeee heee heee … kitty!_ OK… but when her repressed memories of Randall begin to resurface, who’ll have to pay the psychotherapy bills? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2004, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-movie-or-tv-child-would-you-adopt/280542/53 "2004-12-22T23:52:12Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > **Kat** > > Jane and Michael are fine, just don’t take them to work with you but who are Sharon and Susan? I assume **Kat** is talking about Susan and Sharon from _The Parent Trap_. Just don’t go camping with them. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2004, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-movie-or-tv-child-would-you-adopt/280542/54 "2004-12-23T03:14:54Z")
Exactly! And since I never go camping. that solves that problem right there. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2004, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-movie-or-tv-child-would-you-adopt/280542/55 "2004-12-29T20:49:06Z")
**I** will take Cousin Oliver. Those nauseatingly perfect Brady kids wouldn’t be part of the package, and he wouldn’t be a misfit in the Rilch household. For a girl, I would take Lisa Simpson. ---
**Author:** ![look\_hergo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85e7bf/32.png) [@look\_hergo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/look_hergo)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2004, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-movie-or-tv-child-would-you-adopt/280542/56 "2004-12-29T23:20:50Z")
I’m mad that someone else beat me to Harry Potter. Bet he’d be a real help with getting chores done – especially if Dobby come along! Can I adopt the house elf? To turn the question around, though – if I could pick a fictional family to be adopted _into_, it’d be the Weasleys, hands down. They probably can’t afford another kid, but Molly seems like the type that would give me a warm “always-room-for-one-more” smile while she adds more water to the soup. ---
**Author:** ![Marsie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@Marsie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marsie)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2004, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-movie-or-tv-child-would-you-adopt/280542/57 "2004-12-30T03:53:17Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > inspired by several threads > > Which child from movies or tv would you adopt for your own? > > There are of course some rules. > > One, you can’t change a thing about them. If you adopt Oliver from Oliver! he will break out into song al the time but then again, only dogs will be able to hear some of the songs. IF you would like the Macaulay Culkin character from The Good Son you can’t say, except for the killing part. > > Oh and you can’t just take a kid without thier siblings. So if you want Peter you have to take the entire Brady Bunch. > I have two choices. One is the young girl from the Old Navy carolers commercial. The one in the center. She just has this perfect little girl look to her and I don’t consider the other people in the ad to be her siblings. She would break out into weird versions of Christmas songs frequently but I could live with that. > > My other choice is a young boy from a movie. He is able to entertain himself and he does mind his mother even if she is creepy as hell and he is filthy stinking rich. > > Of course I’m adopting young Charles Foster Kane. > > Who do you want? Corey from Julia. He was the cutest little fart… ---
**Author:** ![yoyodyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a9a28c/32.png) [@yoyodyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yoyodyne)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2004, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-movie-or-tv-child-would-you-adopt/280542/58 "2004-12-30T06:22:33Z")
Mathilda from _Léon_ (AKA _The Professional_). After she lost the sibs. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2004, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-movie-or-tv-child-would-you-adopt/280542/59 "2004-12-30T08:43:05Z")
Carrie Sure, it would be difficult dealing with a teenager from an abusive household. But as soon as I convinced her her “pillows” weren’t “dirty”, and that she could use her powers for something better than offing her classmates \* (like for example, assuring the well-being of her new benefactor) everything would be fine. \*Although I might still encourage her to kill John Travolta. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2004, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-movie-or-tv-child-would-you-adopt/280542/60 "2004-12-30T14:39:39Z")
I always had the impression that Carrie’s powers came from her unhappiness. I’ve never read the book but in the film, it is her anger that is her power. If you make her a happy camper, you take away her powers. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-movie-or-tv-child-would-you-adopt/280542.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-movie-or-tv-child-would-you-adopt/280542.md?page=4)