# Which nationality is the most blunt? The least? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 21, 2010, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-nationality-is-the-most-blunt-the-least/544061 "2010-06-21T23:15:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-nationality-is-the-most-blunt-the-least/544061/101 "2010-06-30T16:19:26Z")
A Canadian is not likely to yell at you for standing/walking on the wrong side, but you better watch out for the Death Stare of Death. ---
**Author:** ![Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hypnagogic_jerk/32/4252_2.png) [@Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypnagogic_Jerk)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-nationality-is-the-most-blunt-the-least/544061/102 "2010-06-30T17:21:52Z")
> [@Moonlitherial](#): > > Canadians will apologize when you step on their foot. I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusion. I may reflexively apologize if I inadvertently touch someone (even if they’re the one who’ve stepped on me), but that’s not the same thing as being polite. It’s just automatic. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-nationality-is-the-most-blunt-the-least/544061/103 "2010-06-30T19:35:11Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > Football. Weather. Did you see such and such on TV last night. Weather. Would you like some tea. And, of course, whatever totally insignificant news is making the rounds. “D’you hear about that shoe they found in the High Street?” ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2010, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-nationality-is-the-most-blunt-the-least/544061/104 "2010-06-30T19:57:36Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > Watching my Irish father in law order at a local patisserie run by a Vietnamese family is hilarious (and when I say “hilarious” I perhaps mean cringe-inducing). > > This patisserie is famously cheap and good and often has people standing four or five deep back from the counter. > > To the Vietnamese family, they are being efficient and quick and therefore helpful when they say:instantly\*. To my Irish father in law it is mind bogglingly rude to do anything less than engage in a minute or two’s small talk about the weather, what is good today etc before hinting that: > > _“What you want!”_ > > in a demanding tone once you reach the counter, expecting you to answer \* > > _“you were think that perhaps it might be the thing to maybe wonder about the possibility of a couple of croissants. Maybe If that’s not too much trouble. Although having said that, the custard tarts do look good also.”_ Substitute “Koreans” for “Vietnamese,” and I could tell almost exactly the same story. When I was growing up in Queens, New York, many of the local mini-grocery stores were owned by either Greeks or Koreans. And the difference in the way customers were treated was enormous! If I walked into the store of a Greek, he would chat me up, call my “my friend,” and make a fuss over me, even if he’d never seen me before! Korean shopkeepers, on the other hand, are extremely brusque. They just want you to hurry up, pay for your goods and leave. They don’t chat, they rarely smile. Now, I don’t mean to insult the Koreans. In fact, when a shopper is in a hurry, he’s probably better off going to a Korean’s store! Once you understand that this is simply a standard cultural trait, you don’t mind Korean brusqueness. On the other hand, Korean shopkeepers in largely black neighborhoods are often EXTREMELY unpopular, probably because black shoppers misinterpret standard Korean icy reserve as racism. ---
**Author:** ![put\_down\_the\_sabre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/da6949/32.png) [@put\_down\_the\_sabre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/put_down_the_sabre)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-nationality-is-the-most-blunt-the-least/544061/105 "2010-07-01T04:16:21Z")
> [@Green\_Rosetta](#): > > Oh, wow. That is so interesting! So I guess the entire concept of what is rude changes from country to country? Being American, I understand that plain criticism is considered very rude because it can hurt someone’s feelings. Why is it considered rude elsewhere to ask someone about their job or their school? Hoping this doesn’t come across as snarky, I’m just genuinely interested in that cultural difference. Mostly, I find it uncomfortable because it makes the conversation seem like work. Maybe this is an UK class thing I’m transposing onto a different society, but it also feels like the person is evaluating you. For example, if you grew up somerwhere very poor or very rich, or went to a very famous university, the person is going to make snap judgements of you based on that. Basically, it makes talking to a lot of Americans (especially women) feel like a job interview. It also makes the conversation feel a bit less organic/natural. You may rightly mock talking about the weather etc, but to me the American alternative when you just meet someone has a feel of “ok we just met let’s have the just met conversation! where are you from?” Ugh. pdts ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-nationality-is-the-most-blunt-the-least/544061/106 "2010-07-01T06:02:10Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > The Japanese are definitely who I think of as the least. Just reading about this aspect of Japanese culture in a book on learning Japanese had me thinking “Quit being so fucking coy and say ‘yes’ already!” I have a former-student/friend whose family is pointedly from Japan. They had visitors from Japan who said they wanted the American experience, so they got them into the home of church friends, who are American white. Two days later the people came back: “They didn’t feed us!” Skeptical looks among the family… They called the white family and got, “Well, they sure don’t eat much. We kept offering them food, but they kept refusing it. Then they left.” The host family didn’t offer it after two refusals and took them at their word, leaving them hungry. The great American physicist Richard Feynman and the humorist Dave Barry both wrote of their frustrations with this approach. I have to say I think it’s at least inefficient. ---
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-nationality-is-the-most-blunt-the-least/544061/107 "2010-07-01T07:25:51Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > I have to say, that kind of attitude would have driven me straight up the wall. False modesty and fishing for compliments are a \*lot \*more annoying that outright bragging. _Thank you_! I grew up in that culture and I found it incredibly annoying too. How phony. It takes fishing for compliments to new lows. > [@Alessan](#): > > Lots of perfectly rational people believe in jinxes, which is essentially what this is. But it’s just not the reason in this case. There are plenty of jinxes and avoidance of random things, but this isn’t one of them. False modesty isn’t a matter of superstition but of saving face. If it were a matter of bad luck or upsetting some supernatural force, the person would tell you “Shh… don’t say that” or “Maybe it’s not so good to talk like that…”. > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > From a lot of things I’ve seen on this board, I would definitely say yes. For example, US Americans seem to know everyone’s religion for everyone they know in their lives and all their politicians, doctors, dentists, etc. I can’t remember the last time someone asked me what my religion was (or if I was religious or went to church). They also seem to know how everyone votes - I don’t even know how my husband votes. If religion and politics are prohibited topics, does that mean they are also unimportant and/or superficial? And don’t political/religious leanings affect how a person behaves in daily life? > [@treis](#): > > On another side note, some 20 somethings Chinese are incredibly direct, blunt, and rude. I think its a combination of the “Little Emperor” dynamic and a society unwilling to directly call them on their bullshit. What’s a “Little Emperor” dynamic? > [@Alessan](#): > > Israeli POV: > But they DID pay for it. Maybe the company \*had \*gloves somewhere, but was too lazy to look for them. Maybe it didn’t feel like handing out the newer, expensive gloves. What’s important is that they didn’t want to hear excuses - the company should do its job. It could also be a case of “not a big deal”. [/QUOTE] > [@SanVito](#): > > Football. Weather. Did you see such and such on TV last night. Weather. Would you like some tea. But how do you sustain a conversation that way beyond a minute or two? Does everyone have to be experts on football and weather? Smalltalk would seem to be really difficult without lead-ins to other topics, the opportunity to ask questions with longer answers, etc. > [@put\_down\_the\_sabre](#): > > Mostly, I find it uncomfortable because it makes the conversation seem like work. > > Maybe this is an UK class thing I’m transposing onto a different society, but it also feels like the person is evaluating you. For example, if you grew up somerwhere very poor or very rich, or went to a very famous university, the person is going to make snap judgements of you based on that. Basically, it makes talking to a lot of Americans (especially women) feel like a job interview. > > It also makes the conversation feel a bit less organic/natural. You may rightly mock talking about the weather etc, but to me the American alternative when you just meet someone has a feel of “ok we just met let’s have the just met conversation! where are you from?” Ugh. > > pdts So what do you do when you actually want to get to know someone but aren’t interested in the same sports? How do you find topics of overlap to continue the conversation if you’re not allowed to talk about anything? ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-nationality-is-the-most-blunt-the-least/544061/108 "2010-07-01T07:27:31Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > …, but you better watch out for the Death Stare of Death. That would be the one that causes death, right? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-nationality-is-the-most-blunt-the-least/544061/109 "2010-07-01T10:58:35Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > I think there probably are regional differences as well; Germany is one of those countries which are a lot less homogeneous than they look like - after all, some of its regions have very little more than the language and the central government in common. As a German, I can confirm this observation, but it made me curious: in which German region did you make these experiences? ( I would guess somewhere in the North) ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-nationality-is-the-most-blunt-the-least/544061/110 "2010-07-01T11:11:44Z")
> [@footballisplayedwithyourfeet](#): > > I didn’t want to be the one saying it was us (Dutch), but I’ve heard from quite a number of foreigners livig here that it is something that takes some time to get used to. Drove me a little bit mad at first (I’m an American who lived there for a while in the '90’s), but I quickly grew to quite appreciate the directness and lack of inscrutable fakeness that Americans naturally display, not to mention many American’s rampant passive-aggressiveness (especially on the west coast). ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-nationality-is-the-most-blunt-the-least/544061/111 "2010-07-01T11:11:59Z")
> [@Reply](#): > > If religion and politics are prohibited topics, does that mean they are also unimportant and/or superficial? And don’t political/religious leanings affect how a person behaves in daily life? > > But how do you sustain a conversation that way beyond a minute or two? Does everyone have to be experts on football and weather? > > Smalltalk would seem to be really difficult without lead-ins to other topics, the opportunity to ask questions with longer answers, etc. > > So what do you do when you actually want to get to know someone but aren’t interested in the same sports? How do you find topics of overlap to continue the conversation if you’re not allowed to talk about anything? I was being a bit flippant about the football. It’s really a matter of avoiding topics which might make a stranger feel socially awkward. Asking about your career is sensitive because what if you’re unemployed? Or doing a shitty job in a room full of professionals? Politics and religion can cause heated discussions which just don’t feel appropriate in strange company - you could get into a row and embarrass yourself, the other person, your partner or your host. So you stick to non controversial topics: ‘where did you go on holiday?’ ‘Where are you from?’ ‘Oh, do you know such and such?’ ‘This food is delicious, do you cook?’ That kind of thing. It’s called ‘smalltalk’ for a reason. And you never EVER ask how much someone earns. Even close friends. I don’t know what ANY of my friends earns. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-nationality-is-the-most-blunt-the-least/544061/112 "2010-07-01T11:13:58Z")
> [@yojimbo](#): > > I worked in Amsterdam for three months in a large corporate office. I found the Dutch to be refreshingly straightforward/blunt. Very little BSing around the point. Just saw this. Yes! That is what i was alluding to. ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-nationality-is-the-most-blunt-the-least/544061/113 "2010-07-01T13:16:02Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > But they DID pay for it. Maybe the company \*had \*gloves somewhere, but was too lazy to look for them. Maybe it didn’t feel like handing out the newer, expensive gloves. What’s important is that they didn’t want to hear excuses - the company should do its job. > > I don’t understand - if you’d talked to the driver privately, how would the others know the break was shortened? And what if people wanted it to be that long? No, it’s best to resolve matters publicly and immediately. > > You see, from your POV, the driver was the authority figure; he decided how long the break would be, and the best you could do is ask him politely to chnage his mind. Whereas to the Israelis, you were in a democracy. I didn’t say that the Israeli response was worse, or mine better. It simply was more direct and to the point. That may be good or bad depending on your point of view. > [@Reply](#): > > What’s a “Little Emperor” dynamic? “Little Emperor” refers to the enormous spoiling of an only child due to China’s one-kid policy. [Here’s](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Emperor_Syndrome) wikipedia’s take. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-nationality-is-the-most-blunt-the-least/544061/114 "2010-07-01T16:19:25Z")
> [@Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](#): > > You know, accusations of being a “Walter Mitty”, coming from you, are just a little ironic. Aren’t you the sad case that keeps hinting he was in the SAS or something? :rolleyes: Poor old **CAPTAIN** , is that the best you can do ? Its like being savaged by an angry sheep. Better luck next time. Bye bye . ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-nationality-is-the-most-blunt-the-least/544061/115 "2010-07-01T17:56:35Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > So you stick to non controversial topics: ‘where did you go on holiday?’ ‘Where are you from?’ ‘Oh, do you know such and such?’ ‘This food is delicious, do you cook?’ That kind of thing. It’s called ‘smalltalk’ for a reason. I thought “where are you from?” was one of the proscribed topics? What if you’re from someplace famously poor/wealthy? ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-nationality-is-the-most-blunt-the-least/544061/116 "2010-07-01T18:34:59Z")
Not a nationality but a culture—Deaf (capital D, not small d) are known to be very blunt. ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2010, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-nationality-is-the-most-blunt-the-least/544061/117 "2010-07-01T18:54:19Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > And you never EVER ask how much someone earns. Even close friends. I don’t know what ANY of my friends earns. I don’t know of any place in the US where it’s not considered extremely boorish to ask an acquaintance how much they earn. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-nationality-is-the-most-blunt-the-least/544061.md?page=5)