# Which of the two Coreys would you kill first (and why)? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 26, 2008, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-of-the-two-coreys-would-you-kill-first-and-why/454268 "2008-06-26T02:34:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-of-the-two-coreys-would-you-kill-first-and-why/454268/1 "2008-06-26T02:34:30Z")
I’m tempted to go with Feldman. His acting always seems over the top and I’d never guess he was a star if I didn’t know better. I’m tempted to go with Haim. He’s a terrible, ungrateful houseguest with no ability to evaluate his own behavior and learn from mistakes. Decisions, decisions. They’re both pretentious, posing brats. The loser is… Feldman. Reason: Susie would be available. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_and\_a\_Half\_Inches\_of\_Fun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea666f/32.png) [@Two\_and\_a\_Half\_Inches\_of\_Fun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_and_a_Half_Inches_of_Fun)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-of-the-two-coreys-would-you-kill-first-and-why/454268/2 "2008-06-26T02:35:45Z")
Haim for the same reason they shoot horses. I predict this will be moved. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-of-the-two-coreys-would-you-kill-first-and-why/454268/3 "2008-06-26T02:36:47Z")
You consider this a Great Debate? Polls go in IMHO (and silliness to Coventry). Off to other Fora. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-of-the-two-coreys-would-you-kill-first-and-why/454268/4 "2008-06-26T02:40:16Z")
OK, fine. I wasn’t going for an in-depth discussion of why (i.e. the Pit), but it’s all good! ETA: I don’t know…it could go so many different directions. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-of-the-two-coreys-would-you-kill-first-and-why/454268/5 "2008-06-26T03:41:57Z")
Haim. Feldman at least has a wife and a few gigs. Haim has nothing. He’s not interested in solving his own problems or taking hold of his own shit. The guy will be 70 years old and still making excuses for his life - unless he either kills himself with booze and drugs before then or dies of a disease brought on by said booze and drugs. ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-of-the-two-coreys-would-you-kill-first-and-why/454268/6 "2008-06-26T09:41:06Z")
Haim. Complete waste of space. Feldman was in some movies I liked and he’s an entertaining train wreck. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-of-the-two-coreys-would-you-kill-first-and-why/454268/7 "2008-06-26T09:53:46Z")
You could add another [Corey](http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,23059205-661,00.html) if you like, especially as I have no friggin idea who the other ones you are talking about hail from. Had I been this Corey’s mum, I would certainly have killed him. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-of-the-two-coreys-would-you-kill-first-and-why/454268/8 "2008-06-26T10:19:40Z")
[QUOTE=kambuckta] You could add another [Corey](http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,23059205-661,00.html) if you like, especially as I have no friggin idea who the other ones you are talking about hail from. Had I been this Corey’s mum, I would certainly have killed him. 😃 [/QUOTE] [http://www.tv.com/the-two-coreys/show/72411/summary.html](http://www.tv.com/the-two-coreys/show/72411/summary.html) _The Two Coreys refers to Corey Haim and Corey Feldman. Their friendship is almost legendary in Hollywood. Their on-screen chemistry was so effective they ended up working together on eight films including The Lost Boys and License to Drive. Now they’re back; together again on-screen. In season one, Corey Haim comes to live with his old pal and his wife Susie._ ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-of-the-two-coreys-would-you-kill-first-and-why/454268/9 "2008-06-26T15:19:04Z")
I need more information. Is this killing 1. just for sport 2. because one of them is much more annoying than the other or 1. for my own survival as in “no food, must kill and eat someone”? I wouldn’t do number 1 because I don’t think killing things is a sport. But if it were I think Feldman would be the more entertaining one to hunt. If it’s two then it’s really a toss-up, I always found Feldman more annoying but from the descriptions\* Haim sounds like the biggest loser. For 3, I don’t relish the idea of eating either one but Feldman may have less toxins in his system and be safer to eat. So, for me, in at least 2 out of 3 situations it looks like Feldman would be the winner … loser. \*I don’t watch this show, I only know about it from a recent ad I saw and I don’t intend to watch it for the purpose of keeping murderous thoughts at bay. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-of-the-two-coreys-would-you-kill-first-and-why/454268/10 "2008-06-26T15:25:17Z")
Feldman. At least Haim disappeared quitely and I didn’t have to see or hear from him. Feldman keeps trying to get face time as a D-list celeb who thinks he’s worthy of the B-list. Won’t… go… away. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-of-the-two-coreys-would-you-kill-first-and-why/454268/11 "2008-06-26T15:38:31Z")
Feldman’s a crap actor and a whiny dick (Feldman even complained to freaking Webster that he had it tough as a child star. Webster!). But at least he seems vaguely responsible. Haim’s been given opportunity after opportunity… a few from friends of mine… and he’s crapped on every one. ETA I can’t believe A&E fucked this show up. It was a gold mine of funny, but watching it is painful. I think it’s because child stars never learn how to act natural. They see a camera and just go plastic. That and the ridiculous sound effects. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-of-the-two-coreys-would-you-kill-first-and-why/454268/12 "2008-06-26T16:29:19Z")
[QUOTE=Cat Fight] ETA I can’t believe A&E fucked this show up. It was a gold mine of funny, but watching it is painful. [/QUOTE] I’d like to know who is responsible for the final look, graphics and content of these shows. I’ve recently begun watching Gene Simmons’ show, and IMO it’s very well done. I’ve often wondered who is responsible for that, Gene and/or his team, or A&E itself? Anyone know? ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-of-the-two-coreys-would-you-kill-first-and-why/454268/13 "2008-07-17T02:11:59Z")
Bump rather than start another Coreys thread. Do you believe their current allegations they were both [molested](http://www.fnfamous.com/2008/06/24/the-two-coreys-admit-to-being-molested/) or do you think it was an intentional and scripted ratings ploy (even to the “was it by Michael Jackson?” speculation)? I have to admit I lean towards the “scripted”- it’s just too sure a headline getter for two has-beens to just happen to bring up in a fight 20 years later when there’s a camera present. And if that’s the case- why choose? Shoot 'em both. Or parachute them naked into Saudi Arabia with Muhammad cartoons on their asses and film their execution or escape (with Vegas betting tie-ins) for Season Three. ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-of-the-two-coreys-would-you-kill-first-and-why/454268/14 "2008-07-17T02:37:36Z")
Whichever one first sets foot on mah land! Ah’ll blow 'im to kingdom come. Waste of air and water, both of 'em. [Sunrazor expectorates into the dust in the outer yard, racks his Winchester 30.06, peers steely-eyed down County Road 370 lookin’ fer Coreys] ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-of-the-two-coreys-would-you-kill-first-and-why/454268/15 "2008-07-17T02:42:11Z")
Okay - can I choose Haim just because I don’t want Susie to become the Feldman Widow PETA wannabe? Cause I would have to hurt her. ---
**Author:** ![miamouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@miamouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miamouse)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-of-the-two-coreys-would-you-kill-first-and-why/454268/16 "2008-07-17T14:47:02Z")
Haim. As others have said, to put him out of his misery, which he seems to need to get attention. All his behavior is typical drug addict who doesn’t want to be helped. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-of-the-two-coreys-would-you-kill-first-and-why/454268/17 "2008-07-17T20:25:15Z")
Ooh, tough, tough call. After seeing Feldman in a season of “The Surreal Life” (why I was watching that, I don’t recall. It seemed like a good idea at the time.), and seeing what a whiny piece of shit he was, I thought he was completely useless. Then I saw a snippet of “The Two Coreys,” and I realized he was the GOOD Corey! ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-of-the-two-coreys-would-you-kill-first-and-why/454268/18 "2008-07-17T22:17:41Z")
Feldman was \*\*Mouth \*\* in the Goonies and \*\*Teddy \*\* in Stand By Me. Anyone who was interested in the 80’s won’t choose Feldman over Haim. Those movies rocked ! :eek: Oh Og I’m such a 30-something dork! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-of-the-two-coreys-would-you-kill-first-and-why/454268/19 "2008-07-17T23:35:00Z")
What is so addictive about show biz, I wonder, that even when- like Haim especially- but Feldman to an extent, or Screech, or a thousand others- you’ve been completely spit out of it (Haim was so broke he was living with druggie friends and trying to sell his pulled teeth on ebay) you will not even _consider_ anything else? You’d think that becoming, say, a car salesman/real estate agent (careers that don’t require 12 years of college and where your former fame might help) or even a good waiter would seem monumental steps up, financially and in terms of self-respect, from being famous for being a fucked up has-been. In the long haul they’d probably pay a lot more as well (true, I’m sure Haim is making more from _Two Coreys_ than most care salesmen or dental hygienists, but in all likelihood in a year or two he’ll be dead broke again with no income while folks with “regular” jobs are paying their rent/mortgage just fine. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-of-the-two-coreys-would-you-kill-first-and-why/454268/20 "2008-07-17T23:48:35Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] (true, I’m sure Haim is making more from _Two Coreys_ than most care salesmen or dental hygienists, but in all likelihood in a year or two he’ll be dead broke again with no income while folks with “regular” jobs are paying their rent/mortgage just fine. [/QUOTE] Especially since he allegedly bought (or rented) a fairly expensive place and has a “personal assistant” now. Plus the ad in Variety in the recent episode. Dude, if you were that broke in the past, you’d best not be pissing away every dollar you get from this series, because trust me, you DO NOT have a multi-million dollar career ahead of you! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-of-the-two-coreys-would-you-kill-first-and-why/454268.md?page=2)