Getting a blowjob when one isn’t driving is infinitely preferable, though. When you’re getting a blowjob, you really don’t want to have to divert your attention from it, and driving really kinda requires it.
2
7
28
71
72
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Been there if it counts as a love triangle when only two of the parties know about it.
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Two inspiring teachers: one a gorgeous young high school teacher who seldom wore a bra, and physics teacher that made me understand physics. Between the two of them, I understood my erection.
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Had that, very uncomfortable and frightening and no happy ending.
- Two weeks before retirement I was assigned a “ground ball” homicide. The victim, as it turned out, was a bit of a celebrity in his home country and there was an unusual amount of press coverage. And it was no “ground ball”. It was a strange case but we got the killer. I worked around the clock for a couple of days and then mostly around the clock for the remainder of my career. I was was writing reports on the last hour of my last day. This is NOT the way it was supposed to work.
- A great underdog triumph.
I’ve lived a few on the list, but this is most memorable. My high school baseball team, which was only slightly better than average on most days, beat what was considered by far and away the best team in the state at the time 2 - 1. They were 2 time defending state champs and beating teams by double digit runs every game. I pitched a complete game and was carried off the field after the final out. A former major league all star was in attendance to watch the other team, but after the game he told our coach it was one of the most exciting games he’d ever watched at any level.
I know that whole thing sounds cheesy but that’s why it’s my most Hollywood-like moment.
- Other (explain).
Potential Sitcom Moment: Back in my single days I met two guys named “John” over the course of a couple of days. One afternoon I was awakened from a nap by the phone ringing: “Hi, it’s John. Want to meet for coffee?”
So I got dressed and headed to the coffee shop, not knowing which John had called. I saw a buddy on my way there and he pointed to my outfit and said “This looks like date material! Who are you meeting?” I said “…I don’t know.”
Great idea for a thread, for myself:
- A great underdog triumph.
- Car chase.
- A climactic showdown.
- Stabbed in the back by an underling or partner.
- Police interrogation.
- Hard-ass drill instructor.
- Barroom brawl.
- Cops breaking up a party.
I’ve done computer hacking, but nothing flashy or illegal like on the TV/Movies. Just hacking stuff on my own computer to change them. Nothing very big, like giving myself better stats in old DOS games.
Thanks! Took me a few days to come up with all the cliches, actually.
1- my brother, but it was just water.
3-I have run through an airport to catch a plane, does that count?
21-my 5 year old told me my bathing suit top was too low but it was OK because nobody looks at my boobs anyway (ouch!)
26 - painful to talk about
40-yeah, we had strippers
43-not mine, my friend’s, but we had to deal with her
72- high school party, neighbors called the cops-loud music, underage drinkers.
The one I really want to do is time travel…
Well, those are all cliches in horror movies, which is a specific subset.
- I have had a drink thrown in my face by a woman in a bar who took exception to a political comment. She was not part of the conversation, nor did I know her.
- I have had extensive dental work, and after a bad pain pill experience, I routinely flushed any pain pills given down the toilet.
- In my youth, I was part of a rather violent culture. There have been a few of these in my distant past.
- This has happened more than once in my profession. Sadly, it has led to me ceasing to trust coworkers
- Kathy was crazy…
- I have made an ass of myself while drunk. Who among us has not?
- I have been to a few of these.
- See #24. I have been on both sides of the dark ally confrontation
- Numerous cross country trips. This is the way my wife and I like to travel.
- See #24 and #52. I was a member of a street gang circa 1963 to 1971
- A few bar room brawls
- Yes…
- A few times
- Pretty often, this is the way our parties would end
2) Flushing pills down the toilet, or booze down the drain, etc.
I worked at a concessions company at a major arena. The company came to the end of its ten year contract and did not renew. The company had no other locations with a liquor license within the state and could not transfer the booze out of state for tax reasons, or so they said.
I was tasked with pouring all the remaining partial bottles of booze down the drain - anything that could not be returned to the distributor for credit. It all went down the drain. Yeah. Right. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. (OK, at least some of it made it down the drain. How many partial bottles of dry vermouth can you really use!?)
9) Being called out of retirement (to complete a specific task).
I had nice men from a former employer show up on my doorstep to ask me to return for a special project. I said no. Really creepy as I had moved out of the country and left no forwarding address.
25) Computer hacking.
As a middle school-aged kid in the early 1980’s I attended Computer Camp at the local state university. I was unimpressed with whatever program were were running on the university network and started hitting CTRL+C a few times. It stopped the program but left me with access to something (a server? I’m still not sure) that really got the teacher’s attention. A few days later they were still working to plug the vulnerability.
I was crucified right next to Jesus.
*Dirty cops: well, it was Guatemala and it only cost me $10 to get out of a problem
*Police interrogation: underage drinking, driving and theft
*A psycho ex: contacts me after 30 years “just to see how I’m doing”. Just fine, glad to see you’re still a fucking wackadoo.
*Slapped in the face by a woman: drunk and insulted a bartender in a Spanish bar
*A cross-country road trip: wife and I after retiring.
Other:
*Screaming in terror: incoming mortar barrage
*Intervening in someone’s life in order to save it: getting my son off drugs, saving his marriage (at least for a couple of years) and out of a serious scrape
#11 + #37
Riding in a car with friends when one of their psycho ex’s shows up in his truck. Tore through the Food Lion/K-mart parking lot with him close behind and trying to ram us. Got thrown all around every time we hit a speed bump and we were all screaming. Cop turns in at the end of the lot and the ex suddenly finds somewhere else to be. Stopped shaking after about an hour.
#4 (sort of) + #7 and a bit of #36
As a florist, I was quite often stuck as some sort of accomplice/ accessory to other people’s love triangles and such. Filling orders for the wife and the girlfriend. In one case for the wife and the boyfriends. She apparently had no idea he way bi or poly. The two boyfriends were roommates and they were a threesome. When I went to deliver the flowers, all three of them were there, in their bathrobes and “watching a movie”. OK. On another order I unwittingly delivered flowers to a married teacher from her lesbian stalker. I only found out when I got a freaked out call from her and a visit from the police who asked a lot of questions and dug through our paperwork.
#76
My mom flew up to New York to visit my little sister and left me to take care of her beloved pet ferret. Of course, the ferret dies. I had a horrible time working up the nerve to call and tell her. Yes, I did briefly consider just buying another one and pretending everything was fine but those things are damned expensive.
- Throwing a drink in someone’s face. —I was the someone… College
- A fugitive from justice. — I think…Ft Polk mid 80’s saw someone who looked exactly like the police sketch of a person wanted for rape, called police, they advised to make no contact, he left, and we gave the direction he went to the base police
- Getting whipped into shape and straightened out by joining the military. s
- Police interrogation. A few times, do to vandalism, and Breaking and entering, and burglary… I had a misspent youth.
- Hard-ass drill instructor.
- Slapped in the face by a woman… Haven’t we all?
- Blowjob in a car while driving… This was far more enjoyable than the others on this list
- Picking up a one night stand at a bar.
- Cops breaking up a party… Unfortunately, Experienced this one also
- Meet-cute… Not sure what his one means,met a cute person… well yeah, everyone has
This reminds me of my own “Potential Sitcom Moment”.
When I arrived in London as an Erasmus student, I had temporary accommodation provided by the University for one week only. After that, I was supposed to have found a place of my own and move in order to make room for the regular students. A few hours after I arrived, I met “Kathy”. She was in the same situation. It was pretty clear that apart from that, we had absolutely nothing in common but still, we decided to look for a flat together. After a couple of days, she decided to go it alone. We both found new accommodation before the deadline and kept in touch for a couple of weeks then sort of lost contact.
Two months later, I met “Kate” at a nightclub. We hit it off immediately and by the end of the night, we were getting pretty intimate (well, as much as you can in a crowded nightclub without having the owners call the cops). When the club closed, we left separately but I gave her my phone number and she promised that she’d call to arrange something for the next weekend. Things were decidedly looking very good.
The following Saturday, I got a phone call. I hadn’t had a lot of sleep the night before and the conversation went something like this:
*"Hi, it’s Kat#%à!"
“Wow, I didn’t think you’d call. It’s been such a long time.”
“Er, we met last Wednesday.”
“What are talking about? I haven’t seen you for almost two months.”
“I wasn’t even in London two months ago. Are you ok?”
“Come on, we spent days looking for a flat together.”
Silence
“Look Kathy, you probably didn’t decide to call me after 2 months to play silly games. What do you want?”
“My name’s Kate.”
Silence.
:smack:
“I’m awfully sorry. I didn’t get much sleep last night. Sorry.”
“Mmmm ok. Do you still want to see me tomorrow night?”
“Sure, absolutely.”
"Well then meet me at the pub in front of where we met. 7 pm.
“Fine. I’ll be there. Sorry again.”
And just as I put the phone down I remembered that I had already promised to meet a very dear friend that night, someone I hadn’t seen in a couple of years and whom I really wanted to see. I didn’t have Kate’s phone number. I spent the next day agonizing about what I was supposed to do. I finally decided to meet my old friend, knowing that it meant blowing my chances with Kate forever. As a matter of fact, I never saw her again :o.
1) Throwing a drink in someone’s face. Sorta. I threw an (empty) milk carton at a girl who was being a bitch to me in high school.
2) Flushing pills down the toilet, or booze down the drain, etc. To make sure I’d never take (prescribed) benzos again.
7) A love triangle. Only mixed with puppy love: my best friend and I both were after the same girl in elementary school.
20) Surviving a “terminal” diagnosisWas declared dead at 16 months due a seizure, survived.
25) Computer hacking. I’ve done some minor stuff.
51) Road to Damascus: a moment of divine revelation. Semi frequent, for low values of “revelation.” It’s basically a sudden small insight about God or theology.
52) Accosted in a darkened alley. Schizophrenic kid temporarily convinced me there was a real person out late at night and spooked me. Turned out to be a big pole.
68) Dramatic “I quit!” moment. A project I made a scene about quitting in college, because everyone else was half-assing it. Felt like an ass later. Though I did get an A while they barely got a C (and I think the teacher was being generous.)
26) Stabbed in the back by an underling or partner. Kinda sorta. I worked on a project with my cube mate and I came up with the solution to a particularly tricky problem, but when all was said and done, he took all the credit and I wasn’t even mentioned. He was a turd in more ways than that, and I didn’t miss him at all when he left for another job.
**52) Accosted in a darkened alley. **Not exactly an alley, but the walkway to my first apartment was narrow, shadowy, and off the main road. I was coming home with a bag of groceries one night and I was suddenly aware of someone following me, then talking to me. I was getting panicky, fumbling with my keys, then he addressed me by name - it was a guy I’d dated a couple of years before when we were in school in a different part of the country. He was in the area and decided to surprise me. Scared the crap outta me, he did!