# Which presidential candidate would win in a \*physical\* fight? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 26, 2004, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-presidential-candidate-would-win-in-a-physical-fight/261637 "2004-08-26T17:52:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-presidential-candidate-would-win-in-a-physical-fight/261637/21 "2004-08-27T18:01:09Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > Hell, this should be how the President is chosen, anyway. > > On December 31, put all the candidates in a room, turn out the lights, throw a knife on the floor and lock the door. Survivor takes office in January. “So, Presidential Race 2020 has just been come to a close. President Plisken, what do you have to say to the people of America?” “DRAW.” ---
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-presidential-candidate-would-win-in-a-physical-fight/261637/22 "2004-08-28T02:48:59Z")
> [@observer11](#): > > As to the original question, Bush would win hands down–he’d jump out of an alley with a lead pipe. Yeah, but he’d attack the wrong person. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-presidential-candidate-would-win-in-a-physical-fight/261637/23 "2004-08-28T04:19:28Z")
Not only would Kerry win, but he’d get a purple heart for it. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-presidential-candidate-would-win-in-a-physical-fight/261637/24 "2004-08-28T04:33:27Z")
> [@Sam Stone](#): > > Not only would Kerry win, but he’d get a purple heart for it. 🆒 And the winner is! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-presidential-candidate-would-win-in-a-physical-fight/261637/25 "2004-08-28T12:27:28Z")
> [@Muad'Dib](#): > > I know what Governor would win… Please, please, please let Arnold run for President. Or Hillary Clinton–she would kick ass! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Zamboni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@The\_Great\_Zamboni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Zamboni)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-presidential-candidate-would-win-in-a-physical-fight/261637/26 "2004-08-28T19:58:55Z")
Kerry/Edwards v. Bush/Cheney. Cheney would be the first to be knocked out. I think he is probably kind of weak. Bush would then grab Edwards, who seems to be kind of a wuss, and use him for a body shield as Kerry tries to punch him (Bush). Kerry would accidentally knock out his buddy, leaving Bush and Kerry together to pummel each other. Both are in great physical shape and they both would probably fight to a draw, but not before many broken bones and massive blood loss. Thereza v. Laura would be one hot catfight! 🙂 The usually meek, quiet Laura would show her true colors by catching fire and fighting to a quick draw with the bitchy Thereza. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-presidential-candidate-would-win-in-a-physical-fight/261637/27 "2004-08-28T22:07:22Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Please, please, please let Arnold run for President. Or Hillary Clinton–she would kick ass! Cool. We could have the Governator against Governor Jesse the Body. No more girly men for president (joking). At least, we’d see a decent fight. In Kerry vs Bush, I’d bet on Kerry. Bigger, stronger, longer reach. Let’s make it a cage match. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-presidential-candidate-would-win-in-a-physical-fight/261637/28 "2004-08-29T01:11:46Z")
Bush and Cheney could employ Saddam Hussein’s strategy of dumping oil on the ground and setting it on fire. Ketchup, on the other hand, just isn’t much good in combat situations. ---
**Author:** ![remisser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@remisser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/remisser)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-presidential-candidate-would-win-in-a-physical-fight/261637/29 "2004-08-29T01:19:54Z")
I’ve had the pleasure of shaking hands with both candidates. Bush has a weak handshake, whilest Kerry has a good and firm handshake. Based soley on that, I’d say Kerry has the advantage in a fist fight. As for Edwards vs. Cheney, I’d give the edge to Edwards if he leans in on Cheney’s weak side. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-presidential-candidate-would-win-in-a-physical-fight/261637.md?page=1)