# Which primate would make the best pet? Don't need answer fast **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 1, 2011, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-primate-would-make-the-best-pet-dont-need-answer-fast/590978 "2011-08-01T00:13:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2011, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-primate-would-make-the-best-pet-dont-need-answer-fast/590978/41 "2011-08-02T18:55:47Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > [Proboscis monkey.](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/09/Portrait_of_a_Proboscis_Monkey.jpg) Dunno. I’ve heard they’re pretty nosy. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2011, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-primate-would-make-the-best-pet-dont-need-answer-fast/590978/42 "2011-08-02T21:26:38Z")
I’d get a howler monkey. I don’t care how safe they are or whatever, I just want to piss off the neighbors. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2011, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-primate-would-make-the-best-pet-dont-need-answer-fast/590978/43 "2011-08-02T22:25:48Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2011, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-primate-would-make-the-best-pet-dont-need-answer-fast/590978/44 "2011-08-03T00:12:43Z")
> [@cherry](#): > > My choice would be a Sasquatch. They could provide protection and maybe talk with you with their various howls. I only howl if you stomp on my big foot. Protection is extra though…and whatever you do, [don’t mess with me!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJF0cuYbYyI) ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2011, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-primate-would-make-the-best-pet-dont-need-answer-fast/590978/45 "2011-08-03T03:59:04Z")
White-faced capuchins do urine wash and cannot be potty trained. Urine washing is related to the temperature and dominance (more dominant, more urine), so you might be able to keep that down. However, capuchins are vicious little guys that have nasty teeth and constantly squabble with each other. They aren’t very respectful of dominance hierarchies, so you’d likely constantly face challenges. Incredibly intelligent and voraciously hungry, they can figure out how to open zippers and steal food from all sorts of containers. Howlers aren’t very intelligent, spend most of the day sleeping, and make a loud racket. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2011, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-primate-would-make-the-best-pet-dont-need-answer-fast/590978/46 "2011-08-03T06:58:06Z")
> [@bibliophage](#): > > I have long been fascinated by the [lesser apes](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gibbon) (Hylobatidae, the gibbons and their kin). I’m sure that “singing” brachiators are a bad choice for a house pet, but I might be tempted. Singing Brachiators would make an excellent band name. ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2011, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-primate-would-make-the-best-pet-dont-need-answer-fast/590978/47 "2011-08-03T08:00:54Z")
We had a spider monkey. She would ride on the back of our dog (a skinny mutt that we loved like a river.) She would also sit on our heads (tho she shit down my brother’s neck one time.) Her little hands, with their long, bulbous fingers, were lke a baby’s. ---
**Author:** ![mac\_bolan00](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b3f665/32.png) [@mac\_bolan00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mac_bolan00)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2011, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-primate-would-make-the-best-pet-dont-need-answer-fast/590978/48 "2011-08-03T08:23:08Z")
i’m the audience-type of a pet owner. the gibbon, easily the most acrobatic ape, even without training. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2011, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-primate-would-make-the-best-pet-dont-need-answer-fast/590978/49 "2011-08-03T15:53:12Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > Hey, that’s cute, and small, and probably nowhere near as intelligent as a spider monkey or a squirrel monkey. It would probably be pretty happy living in a cage, and there’s no way it could rip my face off (right?). I see it’s omnivorous with a taste for bugs, but I could get a dedicated fridge for mealworms. Pretty much my reasoning, too. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2011, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-primate-would-make-the-best-pet-dont-need-answer-fast/590978/50 "2011-08-03T16:17:10Z")
> [@kimera](#): > > White-faced capuchins do urine wash and cannot be potty trained. Urine washing is related to the temperature and dominance (more dominant, more urine), so you might be able to keep that down. However, capuchins are vicious little guys that have nasty teeth and constantly squabble with each other. They aren’t very respectful of dominance hierarchies, so you’d likely constantly face challenges. Incredibly intelligent and voraciously hungry, they can figure out how to open zippers and steal food from all sorts of containers. > > Howlers aren’t very intelligent, spend most of the day sleeping, and make a loud racket. So basically I’d have to constantly bully a capuchin in order for it to be a tolerable housemate, i.e. to minimize urine washing and dominance challenges, and it would still steal my snacks and toys. My dog is pretty laid back, so a spider monkey like **Becky2844** had, as long as I remember to wear a neck gaiter or some such whenever it’s on my head. I see pictures of people playing, apparently happily, with un-diapered monkeys. What’s the deal with that? Have they just learned to disregard the inevitable shit, or is there some secret to having shit-free time with one’s monkey? That mouse lemur is looking better all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2011, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-primate-would-make-the-best-pet-dont-need-answer-fast/590978/51 "2011-08-03T16:25:13Z")
> [@kimera](#): > > White-faced capuchins do urine wash and cannot be potty trained. Urine washing is related to the temperature and dominance (more dominant, more urine), so you might be able to keep that down. Give me a case of beer and I could totally out-urine a monkey if it came to that. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2011, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-primate-would-make-the-best-pet-dont-need-answer-fast/590978/52 "2011-08-03T16:47:01Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > Oh shit. The slow loris for sure. I know nothing else beyond that video, but I’m sold! They are cute, but NPR did a piece about how those videos actually [depict animal abuse.](http://marketplace.publicradio.org/display/web/2011/04/01/tech-report-do-popular-viral/) ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2011, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-primate-would-make-the-best-pet-dont-need-answer-fast/590978/53 "2011-08-03T17:34:47Z")
I’m going with an aye-aye, they are all kinds of awesome. (I’ve had one crawl up my arm and sit on my shoulder!) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-primate-would-make-the-best-pet-dont-need-answer-fast/590978.md?page=2)