# Which Shit is Faker: Dances with Wolves or Top Gun? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 18, 2010, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-shit-is-faker-dances-with-wolves-or-top-gun/536500 "2010-04-18T01:18:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-shit-is-faker-dances-with-wolves-or-top-gun/536500/21 "2010-04-18T14:31:23Z")
For the benefit of those rare Dopers who have yet to visit the Gardens of Valhalla, I give you [The rock in the box: I burning your dog](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=203185) which should clear up any confusion about the none-too-subtle references to this masterpiece. That said, I stand in awe of the efforts being made here! ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-shit-is-faker-dances-with-wolves-or-top-gun/536500/22 "2010-04-18T14:36:32Z")
Strangely, the OP reminds me of a third movie, _Billy Madison_. > [@](#): > > “Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.” ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-shit-is-faker-dances-with-wolves-or-top-gun/536500/23 "2010-04-18T15:23:07Z")
I dunno; maybe I’m starting to get his rhythms, but the OP made a lot of sense to me. I think I better go lie down. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-shit-is-faker-dances-with-wolves-or-top-gun/536500/24 "2010-04-18T16:33:44Z")
> [@nachtmusick](#): > > So…after watching Tom Cruise beat Val Kilmer in the finals of the Homoerotic Beach Volleyball Tournament, you concluded that your best chance to get laid by a beautiful lesbian is to join the Navy and ship out? > > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InBXu-iY7cw](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InBXu-iY7cw) No no no!. I mean, I knew not to get into any beach volleyball games, and I knew that all Navy pilots were like, gay. But I didn’t get that Kelly McGillis was. I figured all I had to do was be “troubled” enough and someone like her would be put in my case, and by case I mean penis. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-shit-is-faker-dances-with-wolves-or-top-gun/536500/25 "2010-04-18T16:49:16Z")
Even at 13 I was pretty sure you’d get in trouble for standing around mournfully (to wit, uselessly) on the deck of carrier and pitching shit off it. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-shit-is-faker-dances-with-wolves-or-top-gun/536500/26 "2010-04-18T16:52:52Z")
> [@Ike\_Witt](#): > > Tom Cruise and Kevin Costner need to make a movie together and shit. “Top Dances with Two-Hole Outhouses”? ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-shit-is-faker-dances-with-wolves-or-top-gun/536500/27 "2010-04-18T17:02:12Z")
Excuse me stewardess, I speak jive in case anyone needs help translating. Brother got game. Knock yourself a pro slick. Gray matter back got perform us down I take TCBin, man. ---
**Author:** ![LIONsob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/76d3ee/32.png) [@LIONsob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LIONsob)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-shit-is-faker-dances-with-wolves-or-top-gun/536500/28 "2010-04-18T17:49:22Z")
This Poll Is Highly Illogical. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-shit-is-faker-dances-with-wolves-or-top-gun/536500/29 "2010-04-18T19:40:44Z")
It’s also in the wrong forum. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-shit-is-faker-dances-with-wolves-or-top-gun/536500/30 "2010-04-18T20:07:47Z")
Are these the fakest movies ever made or is this just a sample review? I am watching Rocky III as we speak and my fakeness meter is cranked up like a $10 ho on $100 worth of crack. Ain’t no way a short Italian man is going to beat Mr. T but they found a way out. What kind of shit is that? If you want to see something more fake than a 3 carat cubic zirconium from the discount rack at a pawn shop, you have to check out something written by and stared in by none other than the Italian Stallion himself. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-shit-is-faker-dances-with-wolves-or-top-gun/536500/31 "2010-04-18T22:34:07Z")
Super, have you had your ammonia level checked lately? Just askin’ ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-shit-is-faker-dances-with-wolves-or-top-gun/536500/32 "2010-04-18T23:42:27Z")
I met Tom Cruise once. He was having lunch with Kevin Costner at a cafe in a small airport in Orange county. They were both very nice. Tom had the chicken salad. No wait, I misspeak. Leonard Nimoy had the chicken salad. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-shit-is-faker-dances-with-wolves-or-top-gun/536500/33 "2010-04-19T00:03:17Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > Even at 13 I was pretty sure you’d get in trouble for standing around mournfully (to wit, uselessly) on the deck of carrier and pitching shit off it. He wasn’t on the deck was he? I thought he was on one of the lower levels. ---
**Author:** ![Siddhartha\_Vicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@Siddhartha\_Vicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siddhartha_Vicious)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-shit-is-faker-dances-with-wolves-or-top-gun/536500/34 "2010-04-19T00:12:18Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > I met Tom Cruise once. He was having lunch with Kevin Costner at a cafe in a small airport in Orange county. They were both very nice. Tom had the chicken salad. > > No wait, I misspeak. Leonard Nimoy had the chicken salad. Tom had the tossed salad? ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-shit-is-faker-dances-with-wolves-or-top-gun/536500/35 "2010-04-19T00:47:30Z")
> [@Siddhartha\_Vicious](#): > > Tom had the tossed salad? The Jumping Couch Potato Salad. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-shit-is-faker-dances-with-wolves-or-top-gun/536500/36 "2010-04-19T00:58:16Z")
> [@Richard\_Pearse](#): > > He wasn’t on the deck was he? I thought he was on one of the lower levels. He was on one of the deck edge elevators I think. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-shit-is-faker-dances-with-wolves-or-top-gun/536500/37 "2010-04-19T03:00:09Z")
Moving this shit from IMHO to Cafe Society. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-shit-is-faker-dances-with-wolves-or-top-gun/536500/38 "2010-04-19T11:06:06Z")
I like this poster, I wish he were a mod. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-shit-is-faker-dances-with-wolves-or-top-gun/536500/39 "2010-04-19T11:07:36Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > He was on one of the deck edge elevators I think. Right. I think you can go and get all mopey on the deck if you want when there are no flight ops anyway. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-shit-is-faker-dances-with-wolves-or-top-gun/536500/40 "2010-04-19T13:24:19Z")
> [@Richard\_Pearse](#): > > Right. I think you can go and get all mopey on the deck if you want when there are no flight ops anyway. Yeah, when I joined up (to meet the one woman on the base, like Boyo Jim), I thought I’d be flying dangerous missions. But all I got to do was mope the deck. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-shit-is-faker-dances-with-wolves-or-top-gun/536500.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-shit-is-faker-dances-with-wolves-or-top-gun/536500.md?page=3)