# Which Species Has The Largest Penis? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [March 17, 2004, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-species-has-the-largest-penis/234862 "2004-03-17T16:29:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2004, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-species-has-the-largest-penis/234862/21 "2004-03-17T21:33:45Z")
> [@maddhatter717](#): > > Marsupials have a bifurcated penis. Just thought i’d throw that in . Now I understand the job ad stating “Marsupial seeks bi-lingual secretary”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2004, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-species-has-the-largest-penis/234862/22 "2004-03-17T23:04:11Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Regarding the “whale penis = dork” thing, I have never been able to find an authoratative cite for that. I suspect it’s bogus. Well, it’s not the first time I’ve heard that. A few years ago there was a Discovery Channel program on whales that included footage of mating grey whales, and a discussion of their “dorks.” And the term was indeed introduced and defined by the narrator. My wife calls me a dork all the time. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2004, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-species-has-the-largest-penis/234862/23 "2004-03-17T23:44:20Z")
> [@pool](#): > > I have heard that the marine iguana has the largest penis in proportion to it’s body. I will try to find a cite I don’t think this is true, but the Iguana is perhaps the only reptile that [masturbates](http://www.igniche.com/male_behavior.htm). If there are awards for the fanciest penis, the [damselfly](http://www.uta.edu/biology/robinson/odonate_research.htm) wins. The typical arrangement is to have an inflatable bulb and two horns at the tip, with bristles down the side. If you happen to be _Calopteryx Maculata_, you can use it to scoop out the last guy’s deposit before making your own. The [penis of the adult African Elephant](http://www.und.ac.za/und/lesci/elephant/musth.htm) can turn green during mating season > [@](#): > > the penis becomes coated in an algal layer, giving it a green sheen, and resulting in the nickname of GP-syndrome, or green penis syndrome of the highest level of musth. If you want a long list of bizzare penises (and let’s face it, who doesn’t) just go [here](http://www.findarticles.com/cf_dls/m1200/n9_v154/21211107/p1/article.jhtml?term=). ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2004, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-species-has-the-largest-penis/234862/24 "2004-03-18T00:54:57Z")
> [@ggurl](#): > > 10 feet x 1 foot!?!?!??? Dang!! How big is a whale _vagina_ ?!?!?? Well, big enough for a baby whale to come out of… ---
**Author:** ![ltfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@ltfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ltfire)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2004, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-species-has-the-largest-penis/234862/25 "2004-03-18T01:06:26Z")
> [@RadioWave](#): > > Amongst avians, this duck’s [wee-wee](http://www.abc.net.au/science/news/enviro/EnviroRepublish_366856.htm) is the champion. …yeh, but duz it echo? ducks…and runs… ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2016, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-species-has-the-largest-penis/234862/26 "2016-07-15T18:40:21Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Regarding the “whale penis = dork” thing, I have never been able to find an authoratative cite for that. I suspect it’s bogus. > > The champions for relative length are certain species of barnacle, in which the penis is up to twenty times longer than the animal itself. Since they are not mobile, penis length determines how many other individuals will be accessible. > > [Image here.](http://www.calacademy.org/calwild/2001summer/stories/barnacles.html) I have been a fond possessor and spouter of this information for years. Sure fire cocktail party fact and bang-on clear demo of evolution science. This isn’t recent, but I just found it. So the little bastards have legs, which I’m not sure qualify as for feeding or for their status as sessile, and it was recognized previously that, like they say, big feet, big penis, which I just learned is a linked/coupled trait; unsurprisingly, I never knew that plasticity (growth pattern or rate) is a follow-on epigenetic question–and I am hoping **Colibri** comes to the rescue here The big deal–is it?–here is that the linkage is is still shown in the plasticity in _two_ different “directions” depending on environment. Help me out here: I read it as less crowded, longer penis, shorter legs, which is what I would have guessed. And when the waves are strong (relative to some crowdedness limit, I suppose), longer legs, shorter penis. Perhaps it’s not the absolute strength of the waves, but a strength/time of exposure thing; I read it too quickly… Full text: [http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jez.b.21395/full](http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jez.b.21395/full) ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2016, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-species-has-the-largest-penis/234862/27 "2016-07-15T18:44:08Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Regarding the “whale penis = dork” thing, I have never been able to find an authoratative cite for that. I suspect it’s bogus. > > The champions for relative length are certain species of barnacle, in which the penis is up to twenty times longer than the animal itself. Since they are not mobile, penis length determines how many other individuals will be accessible. > > [Image here.](http://www.calacademy.org/calwild/2001summer/stories/barnacles.html) I have been a fond possessor and spouter of this information for years. Sure fire cocktail party fact and bang-on clear demo of evolution science. This isn’t recent, but I just found it. So the little bastards have legs, which I’m not sure qualify as for feeding or for their status as sessile, and it was recognized previously that, like the way, big feet, big penis, which I just learned is a linked/coupled trait; unsurprisingly, I never knew that plasticity (growth pattern or rate) is a follow-on epigenetic question with linked traits–and I am hoping **Colibri** comes to the rescue here The big deal–is it?–here is that the linkage is is still shown in the plasticity in _two_ different “directions” depending on environment. Help me out here: I read it as less crowded, longer penis, shorter legs, which is what I would have guessed. And when the waves are strong (relative to so crowdedness limit, I suppose), longer legs, shorter penis; or perhaps it’s exposure time to waves of some force, not absolute force. Full text: [http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jez.b.21395/full](http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jez.b.21395/full) ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2016, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-species-has-the-largest-penis/234862/28 "2016-07-15T18:46:53Z")
> [@Oregon\_sunshine](#): > > 10 feet x 1 foot!?!?!??? Dang!! How big is a whale _vagina_ ?!?!?? Let’s just say, you don’t want to drop your car keys in there. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2016, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-species-has-the-largest-penis/234862/29 "2016-07-15T20:54:45Z")
Classic thread with same topic - great writing (Best of Dope class). **How big are a blue whale’s schlong and nuts?** [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=454289&highlight=kentuckian](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=454289&highlight=kentuckian) ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2016, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-species-has-the-largest-penis/234862/30 "2016-07-15T22:50:38Z")
I thought the jellyfish had the longest penus at something like 100 or more feet long but I can’t locate the site now. Just a thread that would drift out into the current and hopefully find another jellyfish. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2016, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-species-has-the-largest-penis/234862/31 "2016-07-15T23:29:21Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > I thought the jellyfish had the longest penus at something like 100 or more feet long but I can’t locate the site now. Just a thread that would drift out into the current and hopefully find another jellyfish. Jellyfish don’t have internal fertilization at all, so you must be thinking of something else. [One species](http://invertebrates.si.edu/jellyfish/) is known to transfer packets of sperm using its tentacles but it’s small. And that wouldn’t qualify as a penis. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2016, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-species-has-the-largest-penis/234862/32 "2016-07-16T00:34:07Z")
> [@Oregon\_sunshine](#): > > 10 feet x 1 foot!?!?!??? Dang!! How big is a whale _vagina_ ?!?!?? Big enough to deliver a baby whale. ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2016, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-species-has-the-largest-penis/234862/33 "2016-07-16T03:11:13Z")
Re: “dork”, I believe this term never had anything to do with specifically whale penises, but was originally a slang term for penis, originating as a variant of the word “dick” (quite recently; around the '50s or '60s); it then rounded off to the innocuous insult we know it as now. At least, that’s what various etymological references tell me. I have no idea where the whale part originated in popular consciousness. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2016, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-species-has-the-largest-penis/234862/34 "2016-07-16T12:40:39Z")
That’s a straightforward jump. Someone somewhere said something about a whale’s dork. Someone else asked him what he meant, and he said “it’s his penis, idiot”. The someone else then assumed that it meant specifically a whale’s penis, not just a penis in general, and it propagated from there. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2016, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-species-has-the-largest-penis/234862/35 "2016-07-16T14:45:19Z")
> [@RadioWave](#): > > Amongst avians, this duck’s [wee-wee](http://www.abc.net.au/science/news/enviro/EnviroRepublish_366856.htm) is the champion. Huh. I didn’t even think birds HAD penises. You learn something new every day. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2016, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-species-has-the-largest-penis/234862/36 "2016-07-16T15:45:55Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > Huh. I didn’t even think birds HAD penises. You learn something new every day. Ducks (and some other species) are unusual in that regard. Most birds don’t have an intromittent structure - when they mate, they just press their cloacal openings together. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2016, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-species-has-the-largest-penis/234862/37 "2016-07-16T15:59:34Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > Huh. I didn’t even think birds HAD penises. You learn something new every day. > [@cwthree](#): > > Ducks (and some other species) are unusual in that regard. Most birds don’t have an intromittent structure - when they mate, they just press their cloacal openings together. Right. Ducks and other waterfowl, large flightless birds (ostriches and such), and one kind of weaver-finch, are pretty much the only birds to have a penis. (Ironically, a cock doesn’t have a cock.) ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2016, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-species-has-the-largest-penis/234862/38 "2016-07-16T17:00:10Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > That’s a straightforward jump. Someone somewhere said something about a whale’s dork. Someone else asked him what he meant, and he said “it’s his penis, idiot”. The someone else then assumed that it meant specifically a whale’s penis, not just a penis in general, and it propagated from there. Right, but what was the particular source within this propagation that caused it to be popularized so very widely? ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2016, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-species-has-the-largest-penis/234862/39 "2016-07-16T19:33:29Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Right. Ducks and other waterfowl, large flightless birds (ostriches and such), and one kind of weaver-finch, are pretty much the only birds to have a penis. (Ironically, a cock doesn’t have a cock.) Cocks have testicles, however, which are called for in a number of 19th century garnishes. One of my butchers said he can have them for me when I asked a while ago; my interest in the recipes languished since then, but it is on my list. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2016, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-species-has-the-largest-penis/234862/40 "2016-07-16T20:45:44Z")
I guess this is where you get a link to a photo of the elegant bar aboard Aristotle Onassis’s yacht _Christa O._ The bar is fitted out in whale teeth, lots of white rope, and the barstools, well… > [@](#): > > The stools were covered with the foreskin of a whale, which led to Onassis’ favorite ditty, “Excuse me, Madame, did you know you are sitting on the world’s largest….!” The stools have been recovered in fine leather. To see the pic of the bar (absolutely SFW) you’ll have to scroll about 4/5 of the way down. > **[CHRISTINA O – the greatest yacht of them all.](http://aristotle-onassis.blogspot.com/2012/03/christina-o-greatest-yacht-of-them-all.html)** > > A blog about Aristotle Onassis and Jackie Kennedy Onassis [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-species-has-the-largest-penis/234862.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-species-has-the-largest-penis/234862.md?page=3)