Which species wins at the Animalympics?

yeah, ive seen them carrying huge tree logs, essentially trees but stripped of all side branches. is there any other animal that can do that?

I bet a chimpanzee could learn to beat any human at tennis.

Actually, I don’t think gannets would do well at all at diving- yes, they can dive from very high up (though certainly not without a drop of splash when I’ve seen them!) but I bet they can’t somersault, though they might manage twists, their bodies are just too inflexible, and they’re really not very maneuverable birds.

I think we’d just be up against the sea lions and fur seals (true seals couldn’t make it up the stairs).

Well, the objective isn’t solely to not fall off so I really doubt that a cat would be able to do anything impressive in the least.

They do somehow have the ability to understand the rules and compete. And they could train for their events too. Not sure how the judges would see it though. I don’t understand how gymnastics is scored anyway. Seems to be based on a combination of injuries, perkiness, and a sad back story.

Not so sure about that one. Aren’t primates pretty poor at throwing stuff?

They have a routine consisting of different moves (flips, poses, landings, etc.) The routine gets a difficulty rating based on the amount of complexity of the individual moves. This gives an upper bound on their score. As the gymnast goes through the routine they are marked off for wobbling, not being straight, taking extra steps on the landing, etc. You add up all the deductions and subtract it from the maximum, that’s the score.

I don’t think it’s physically possible for a cat to complete a routine that would qualify it to compete against anyone older than 2.

A flea can outjump pretty much anything, at least in the high jump event.

The event is not scaled based on the size of the participant.

Greyhounds would be great in the middle distances. Are they faster than horses over 400 and 800m?

I wonder about hurdles. Are cheetahs decent jumpers?

We need a ruling on flying animals. If they stay in their lane and below some arbitrary altitude, that would seem fair. Hurdles would be redundant in that case.

High jump? Probably an ugulate like an antelope. I’ve seen deer (seemingly) effortlessly clear 4 foot fences. What would the best deer jump?

Long jump? Kangaroos can jump amazingly far. I would think they’d be the best.

Picking up your opponent and throwing him out of the ring isn’t a legal move in boxing.

For archery, we’re probably looking for the animal that could draw the highest bow weight, have a stable stance, and best binocular vision.

The elephant wins. With a trunk holding the bow, and the string drawn with the teeth, they’d have the highest combination of the three critical factors above. Orangutans come in a close second, but lose in their consistency due to inferior depth perception.

Pole vaulting is a tough one…can kangaroos grip sufficiently with their paws to carry a pole? If so, a bounce-assisted vault might make them the winner. Otherwise, humans still win this event.

Somersaults, flips, big stretches, chasing their tails…

I am picking that the horses will take out all the equestrian events.
:slight_smile:

Good call. That might not work in actual olympics, but I do think that an elephant could be trained to shoot a special bow. If so, it would undoubedtly be able to outdistance any human archers in the long-distance body-pulled category.

Penguins would win most water events not only because they are good at it but also because they are so darn cute.

The rules require them to ride humans.

I know it is not much of a scientific cite, but here Popular Mechanics briefly discusses the best marathoners; comparing horses, humans, sled dogs, camels, pronghorn, and ostrich. Pronghorn and ostrich could do it in about 45 min.

I think it would be cool to have a sled-dog division in some of the marathons, with modified, wheeled sleds.

Allowing for these types of dispensations, would something like a blue whale be able to tail-lift more than an elephant? Or even use it’s tongue (which itself outweighs some female elephants)?

Not a chance.