# Which Star Trek characters would you off? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 9, 2011, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-characters-would-you-off/588380 "2011-07-09T03:17:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2011, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-characters-would-you-off/588380/61 "2011-07-10T21:54:56Z")
Pretty much the whole TNG crew. What a wussified bunch. Including Worf. Picard is the only one who seems like he might actually have a vertebra or two. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2011, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-characters-would-you-off/588380/62 "2011-07-10T23:04:38Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > …As far as Troi’s mom goes, I never got the impression that we were ever supposed to particularly like her. That is to say, I think she was _supposed_ to be annoying as all get-up, as that was how she was consistently portrayed and perceived by the other characters… Agreed. She’s the spoiled eccentric aristocrat that everyone’s career depends on being nice too. I actually did prefer Lwaxana to her daughter (granted it’s a very good thing Madame Troi only showed up once or twice a season). > [@BigT](#): > > She wanted to quit, but Dr. King told her to stay, since she was one of the first African Americans on prime time TV. Note that she was Lieutenant Uhura, not some stupid Yeoman. Yes, in the 1960s it was very progressive & groundbreaking to have a black woman as a competant and respected officer on a military vessel even if all she did most of the time was answer the spacephone. > [@Recovering\_Republican](#): > > …Just couldn’t get around the fact they were using the same silly names and premises from the “Mormons in Space” version of 1979 (which if remember correctly, didn’t even have a regular doctor character. It did have a nurse who used to be a prostitute or something.)… Dr Salik was the Chief Life Officer on the original Battlestar Galactica. He was as regular a character as Cottle was in the new series. The space hooker was Cassiopeia the “socialator” (a high-class courtesan more along the lines of a Geisha than a street walker). She was only a prositute in the pilot; ABC insisted she become a nurse if the writers didn’t kill her off (she was originally supposed to die of radiation poisoning w/ Serina). They never mentioned her past again (well other than an offhand remark about “office rates”.) ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-characters-would-you-off/588380/63 "2011-07-11T00:44:28Z")
Lieutenant Carlisle Ensign Rizzo Ensign Haskell Lieutenant Junior Grade Monroe Ensign Nell Chilton Ensign Dern Lieutenant Commander Cavit Chief Engineer Olson ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-characters-would-you-off/588380/64 "2011-07-11T00:50:05Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Lieutenant Carlisle > > Ensign Rizzo > > Ensign Haskell > > Lieutenant Junior Grade Monroe > > Ensign Nell Chilton > > Ensign Dern > > Lieutenant Commander Cavit > > Chief Engineer Olson Who _are_ these people? I don’t recognize a single name. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-characters-would-you-off/588380/65 "2011-07-11T01:05:24Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Who _are_ these people? I don’t recognize a single name. Redshirts ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-characters-would-you-off/588380/66 "2011-07-11T01:07:45Z")
Ah. The Guy Fleeglemans of the world. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_Pocket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Paul\_Pocket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_Pocket)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-characters-would-you-off/588380/67 "2011-07-11T02:29:37Z")
TOS: That andorian dude in return to babel (the real andorian) TNG: Picard’s Girlfriend with the roll up piano DS9: Avery Brooks’ acting coach. VOY: The quartermaster who decided to issue Seven a brown, loose uniform ---
**Author:** ![Recovering\_Republican](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@Recovering\_Republican](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Recovering_Republican)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-characters-would-you-off/588380/68 "2011-07-11T10:43:30Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > Dr Salik was the Chief Life Officer on the original Battlestar Galactica. He was as regular a character as Cottle was in the new series. The space hooker was Cassiopeia the “socialator” (a high-class courtesan more along the lines of a Geisha than a street walker). She was only a prositute in the pilot; ABC insisted she become a nurse if the writers didn’t kill her off (she was originally supposed to die of radiation poisoning w/ Serina). They never mentioned her past again (well other than an offhand remark about “office rates”.) I really, really did try to blot that mind numbingly awful show out of my mind as much as possible, actually. Don’t get me wrong, when it came out and I was 17 and all hopped up because of _Star Wars_, I thought it was the coolest thing since sliced bread. but there’s a reason why \*Star Trek \*and \*Star Wars \*have endured but this show hasn’t. The cheesy dialog, the recycling of FX shots, (and sometimes, shots taken from other movies, such as 1973’s _Silent Running_.) And seriously, that kid sneaking onto missions… It was like Speed Racer’s kid brother hiding in the trunk. That kid should have gotten whacked a bunch of times. ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-characters-would-you-off/588380/69 "2011-07-11T15:28:10Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > VOY: Chakotay > ENT: Subcommander Catsuit Chakotay would have been a better captain then who they went with. Also, my balls crawled back up inside me every time Janeway was supposed to look/act sexy. The horror. . .the horror. And NO, you MAY NOT kill Subcommander Eyecandy! What the hell are you thinking? ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-characters-would-you-off/588380/70 "2011-07-11T15:39:25Z")
> [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](#): > > And NO, you MAY NOT kill Subcommander Eyecandy! What the hell are you thinking? Mainly that getting hotted up by someone who only does the deed every seven years is a recipe for frustration. Give me Empress Hoshi any day. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-characters-would-you-off/588380/71 "2011-07-11T15:47:15Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Mainly that getting hotted up by someone who only does the deed every seven years is a recipe for frustration. Give me Empress Hoshi any day. Pon Farr every seven years kiddo, not sex every seven years. There is nothing stopping Vulcans from engaging in some full-contact telepathic mind-melded and mind-blowing orgasmic sex whenever they feel like it. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-characters-would-you-off/588380/72 "2011-07-11T15:47:19Z")
> [@Musky\_Moon](#): > > I never liked any of the Bjorans on DS9. One dimensional victims. Really? Your milleage may vary, I guess, but I _loved_ the way these characters were portrayed - I thought it was a really nuanced view of both the struggle for independence and the efforts to built a stable, democratic government afterwards. Major Kira, for example, tacitly admitted a few times that she’d done more than a few … questionable … things during her role in the Resistance. And her mother was a collaborate (and, by wacky coincidence, Gul Dukat’s lover). And there was the excellent first-season episode Duet, with the Cardassian officer thoroughly sickened by his own government’s crimes. And the wildly uneven performance of the Bajoran government post-independence - which is exactly how you’d _expect_ it to perform … If I ever somehow find myself teaching a “Development 101” undergrad course, selected episodes of DS9 will be required viewing as discussion-starters. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-characters-would-you-off/588380/73 "2011-07-11T15:51:54Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > Pon Farr every seven years kiddo, not sex every seven years. Wow, the old jokes just don’t roll 'em in the aisles like they used to, huh? In other news, we share a birthdate. (Sorry, but at my age getting called “kiddo” is grounds for a profile search warrant.) ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-characters-would-you-off/588380/74 "2011-07-11T15:55:25Z")
Essay from the _Enterprise_ fan website _TripHammered_: [“Let Archer Be Archer”](http://www.triphammered.com/Extras/archer.shtml) Archer follow-up essay [a year later](http://www.triphammered.com/Extras/archer2.shtml) I think I read that Lwaxana Troi was supposed to be an “Auntie Mame” character. Thing is, Auntie Mame was fun and foolish, got herself into trouble and out again, drank too much and had some weird friends and acquaintances, but she was never an idiot who made herself unwelcome wherever she went. Mame was never _clueless_, and that’s all that Lwaxana is, IMO. By the time we got to “the daughter who died” episode, I just didn’t care and I should have. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-characters-would-you-off/588380/75 "2011-07-11T16:00:34Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Wow, the old jokes just don’t roll 'em in the aisles like they used to, huh? > > In other news, we share a birthdate. (Sorry, but at my age getting called “kiddo” is grounds for a profile search warrant.) I was born in '64 so I’ve got over half a Pon farr on you squirt. 😉 Are we still leos? I heard they changed the dates a while back. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-characters-would-you-off/588380/76 "2011-07-11T16:58:33Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > Are we still leos? I heard they changed the dates a while back. As far as I know, yep. ---
**Author:** ![Sister\_Vigilante](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Sister\_Vigilante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sister_Vigilante)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2011, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-characters-would-you-off/588380/77 "2011-07-11T19:26:25Z")
Every Klingon, ever. Every Romulan from TNG on. ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2011, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-characters-would-you-off/588380/78 "2011-07-12T01:07:10Z")
Whosoever thought that the theme song for _Enterprise_ sounded good. A slow painful death would be preferred. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2011, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-characters-would-you-off/588380/79 "2011-07-12T01:32:05Z")
> [@UncleRojelio](#): > > Whosoever thought that the theme song for _Enterprise_ sounded good. A slow painful death would be preferred. No, best killed quickly lest he or she should be able to escape. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2011, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-characters-would-you-off/588380/80 "2011-07-12T03:33:22Z")
Wesley could have been an interesting character had they KEPT HIM AS A KID. Having the crew interact with their families enables a whole bunch of interesting developments. Wesley and Picard had a terrific, interesting, nuanced relationship that brought things out in Picard you couldn’t see otherwise. But then suddenly he wasn’t a kid anymore; suddenly he was half adult human, half Data. Having kids on the Enterprise I can believe, given its mission and the time it’s set in. Having a child fly a goddamned battleship I cannot. Every time I saw Wesley sitting at the conn I could not get over it. It wasn’t the character - actually, Wesley is far less irritating than his mother, or Troi, or in some ways the bizarrely redundant and pointless Riker - but simply that… I mean, being the first watch conn officer on one of the biggest ships in a great military (though I refuse to call it a flagship, as I saw no admirals about, and that’s what a flagship is) is a BIG DEAL. There are ten thousand junior officers in Starfleet, dozens of whom are aboard Enterprise, who are scratching and clawing their way to get that job, and… Wesley gets it? It’s logically equivalent to Barack Obama selecting the teenaged son of the Surgeon General to be his new Secretary of State. Had Wesley been kept off the bridge, and maybe given a job in Engineering (which, really, suited him, anyway) he could have been a valuable and useful character. The one I don’t get at all is Riker. Why is he there? You LIKED him - he’s dashing, good with the ladies, and generally a likeable guy as played by Jonathan Frakes - but what purpose did he serve, anyway? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-characters-would-you-off/588380.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-characters-would-you-off/588380.md?page=5)