# Which Star Trek species would you do first? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 10, 2003, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-species-would-you-do-first/180832 "2003-06-10T11:32:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-species-would-you-do-first/180832/21 "2003-06-10T17:22:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wolfian \* > \*_Damn! My first thought when I saw this thread was, "Vulcan. Five hundred years_ of pent-up sexual energy released at once. No brainer." I guess Klingon me. > > \*Is it five hundred? I know they have long life spans, but that seems a bit off. \*\* You’re forgetting about Pon Far, the 7 year cycle of mating. Seven years sounds pretty good, actually. Long enough to build up some **serious** interest, but not so long as to them overly homicidal. Ummm…I’m not familiar with Antareans. I remember Antarean Brandy being mentioned a lot, but I don’t remember any actual Antareans. The blue-skinned, antennaed folks were Andoreans. Anyone got a link? ---
**Author:** ![Meros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Meros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meros)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-species-would-you-do-first/180832/22 "2003-06-10T17:42:09Z")
I would have to go with in order: Klingon Romulan Orion I like my women savage 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-species-would-you-do-first/180832/23 "2003-06-10T19:12:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ethilrist \* > \*\*Some people are not getting into the spirit of the OP. Try to pick a race that doesn’t look like fashion models with brown spots painted on their foreheads. Otherwise, I would have picked any women from the Planet of Scantily Clad Jogging Aerobic Instructors. \*\* I guess that leaves out _my_ pick: Trill. Dax (the original) can do me any time. DD ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-species-would-you-do-first/180832/24 "2003-06-10T19:16:49Z")
If Andorians are allowed, I’d go with that. I think the antennae could come in handy… ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-species-would-you-do-first/180832/25 "2003-06-10T19:31:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ethilrist \* > \*\*Some people are not getting into the spirit of the OP. Try to pick a race that doesn’t look like fashion models with brown spots painted on their foreheads. Otherwise, I would have picked any women from the Planet of Scantily Clad Jogging Aerobic Instructors. \*\* Guilty as charged **Ethilrist** , but damn, your option sounds pretty good, too! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-species-would-you-do-first/180832/26 "2003-06-10T19:52:53Z")
A Klingon would be my obvious choice from the OP. Setting appearances aside, how about the Companion in its true state? Zephrem Cochrane never had it so good. Is that better, **Ethilrist?** The problem with this interpretation of the OP is the Star Trek is made in Hollywood; there are few truly ugly actresses and ST usually does not “uglify” them enough. Even the women intended to be ugly aliens usually are a fashion model underneath the makeup. One example that contradicts this is the musician in the bar in the episode “Reunification”, where Riker and Worf are tracking a Ferengi - Worf sings some opera, Riker teaches her a tune. She was not very attractive. Here’s a list for you- who would you do from this sub-list? T’Pau, the Vulcan elder Kai Winn Lwaxana Troi Data’s “mother” The Founder The Salt Vampire The Mother Horta ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-species-would-you-do-first/180832/27 "2003-06-10T20:58:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ethilrist \* > \*\*Some people are not getting into the spirit of the OP. Try to pick a race that doesn’t look like fashion models with brown spots painted on their foreheads. Otherwise, I would have picked any women from the Planet of Scantily Clad Jogging Aerobic Instructors. \*\* But those are the very ones I was thinking of saying. Not just because they are all hotties but they wanted to kill Wesley. Heck they wanted to kill Wes before I wanted to kill him. But I’ll for the green skinned chicks for nostalgia. After that a Romulan babe would be my next choice. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-species-would-you-do-first/180832/28 "2003-06-10T21:28:02Z")
Bajorans are nice, I’ve always thought (I know the OP isn’t offering them). Humans have their good points too, but I’m not sure that my DNA and genitals are compatible. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-species-would-you-do-first/180832/29 "2003-06-10T21:58:47Z")
**Davebear** , thanks. That’s what I was trying to reference.f ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-species-would-you-do-first/180832/30 "2003-06-10T22:18:58Z")
Klingon? There ain’t enough Romulan ale in the galaxy… ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-species-would-you-do-first/180832/31 "2003-06-10T22:44:33Z")
I’ve always had a thing for Bajoran guys. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-species-would-you-do-first/180832/32 "2003-06-10T23:30:44Z")
This is a disgusting, uncouth, and spiritually degrading topic. [pause] _sigh_ Caitian. I’d say “Klingon” in regards to the OP, but…she’d break me. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-species-would-you-do-first/180832/33 "2003-06-10T23:53:39Z")
Hoshi! What, not a species? Well, then i’ll go to that clone planet, and clone 100 Hoshis, then they’re a species! ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-species-would-you-do-first/180832/34 "2003-06-11T00:06:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gorgon Heap \* > \*\*Like a Ferengi with smaller ears. Sorry, man, that’s it. \*\* Actually, Freengi females **do** have boobies. (The female-disguised-as-a-male had her ta-tas squooshed down so as not to bulge out and be noticed.) Although I wonder … the 4 billion year old “genetic program” that was supposed to be directing the evolution of all humanoid species (including humans) only directed the various biospheres toward producing something that **looked** like the progenitor aliens. Its body parts didn’t have to mirror the **function** of the equivalent progenitor body parts at all. I wonder if Ferengi breasts really serve as mammary glands, or if they’re just cosmetic (like their forehead bulges). ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-species-would-you-do-first/180832/35 "2003-06-11T01:03:47Z")
I’d have to go with one of those women who are **white** on the right side and **black** on the left side. But **NOT** the kind who is white on the left side and black on the right! I am just not into that kind of thing. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-species-would-you-do-first/180832/36 "2003-06-11T02:19:31Z")
I’m ashamed to admit it, but my fantasies involve doing it Klingon-style. I’d start out by throwing heavy objects at him while he recited the poetry. And I would pick Worf if I could get him. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-species-would-you-do-first/180832/37 "2003-06-11T03:08:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ethilrist \* > > What is this Antarian of which you speak? Can you name the episode they showed up? Are you thinking of Andorians, the blue-skinned guys with antlers? I’d definitely do one of them… \*\* Yeah! Thats what I meant. ---
**Author:** ![Matt\_Decker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Matt\_Decker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Matt_Decker)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-species-would-you-do-first/180832/38 "2003-06-11T03:43:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Max Carnage \* > \*\*I’d have to go with one of those women who are **white** on the right side and **black** on the left side. But **NOT** the kind who is white on the left side and black on the right! I am just not into that kind of thing. \*\* L O L !!! Snort! Biggest laugh I’ve had in a while. Thanks a million! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-species-would-you-do-first/180832/39 "2003-06-11T04:29:01Z")
Uh… er… are we allowed half-breeds? K’Ehleyr and B’elanna were both quite yummy. Otherwise, I choose a phaser, set to level sixteen. Disregarding the OP, either Romulans (anyone else have the hots for Donatra, the mutinous Romulan commander in _Nemesis_? Rowr!) or Trill. Mmm… Ezri… ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-species-would-you-do-first/180832/40 "2003-06-11T05:39:05Z")
Deltans. Mmm…cute bald chicks. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-species-would-you-do-first/180832.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/which-star-trek-species-would-you-do-first/180832.md?page=3)